Mothers: A Usability Review
Mother’s Day, May 14, 2017
As a usability analyst, I felt it was time to determine whether mothers everywhere would deserve a good usability rating or not, so here’s my detailed heuristics review.
- Arms extend fully around body when giving hugs
Comments: Somehow this feature still functions effectively, even when the children become adults, and regardless of their expanded height or girth.
2. Visual acuity and sightlines
Comments: Most of the mothers seem to possess 360 degree vision (“eyes in the back of their heads”), can spot micro stains on shirts from 12 feet away, and have the ability to discern the difference between lying eyes and truthful eyes.
2. Heart responds to physical, emotional needs of children
Comments: Tests found that mothers hearts are fully scalable as they appear to expand easily to accommodate more children and also children with exceptional physical and emotional needs.
3. Ability to process information and carry out tasks efficiently
Comments: Stress tests such as combining one wailing infant with a second child who needed his lunch packed for school resulted in high efficiency ratings. The ability to assist in math homework calculations while sorting laundry or talking to a client on the phone also impressed our analysts.
4. Recovery and reset capability
Comments: Our observers noted an extremely high resiliency under long durations and task overload. However, many mothers lacked the ability to conduct effective self-care and general self-maintenance. We recommend that children enable mothers to have at least one annual 24-hour period where they can can reboot or at least undergo system maintenance at a salon or spa.
5. Fully integrates with second and third generation platforms
Comments: Over-the-shoulder tests found that mothers functioned extremely well with grandchildren and even great-grandchildren, although analysts noted that purchases of chocolates, toys and loaded piggy banks seem to be markedly increased from that of their first generation. We recommend that those with grandchildren and great-grandchildren be titled “Mother 2.0.”
OVERALL RATING: 100%
Comments: Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere!