Many couples are unable or unwilling to have sex. Changes in health or physical condition may knock sex off the list of regular bonding activities. Some couples abstain due to religious or cultural reasons. If one or both partners are coping with past trauma, the recovery process may keep sex out of reach. No matter what brought them to the no-doin’-it zone, couples who can’t have sex still need to maintain the intimacy in their relationship.

2018 was a bit of a lonely year for my husband. We found out we were pregnant in January of that year. In February…

When I started out writing, I had big dreams of JK Rowling, Stephen King level fame, fortune, and glory. I was strictly a fiction writer with no notion that I’d ever wander into non-fiction or essays.

Eventually, I did figure out that fairy and vampire stories are pretty unlikely to keep the electrics on. Sure, it happens from time to time, but it’s not something I was willing to hold my breath for. So I started pimping out my mastery of the English language for money. One thing led to another, and I ended up writing about sex. …

When you’re in a long-term sexual partnership, an eternal challenge is how to keep sexy fun time both sexy and fun. In the early days, there’s a sense of discovery and passion that comes with the newness. You each have something to teach each other. Words like “rabbits” and “marathon” might be tossed around.

The newness wears off and is replaced with a reliable comfort. You know you can come home after a terrible day and get your jollies on, seeking that release and catharsis only your partner can provide. …

1 Lube is not a four-letter word. Okay, it is, technically. But it’s not a bad word. Some people or anatomy regions don’t produce enough natural lubrication to keep lovemaking comfortable. Needing to use lubrication during sex doesn’t make you an underperforming partner.

It’s not always an age or attraction thing. It’s just body chemistry. As many as 30% of women ages 18 to 59 claim they needed to add some KY or Wet ’n’ Wild to the downstairs according to a 2009 report. Vaginal dryness could relate to your hydration levels, medicines you are or have been on, your…

Sex buckets lists are all the rage. Promising explorations of sensation and connection with lovers, partners, total strangers is intriguing and keeps your mind churning with passion and desire.

Inspired by the plethora of my fellow sex writers preaching the glories of buckets of sex, I sat down to make my own. The first item on my list was a threesome.

And there, I got stuck. You see, I’m married. Happily, blissfully, contentedly married to a man I could not have built better in the Weird Science lab. I know that Mr. …

I like porn. Since I first discovered it years and years ago, I’ve enjoyed the instant, effortless arousal it provides. It has always been an efficient and comprehensive masturbatory aid for me. Add a few toys into the mix, and I’m golden.

My husband also likes porn. He, like many folks, is a very visual creature. In our real-life sexual relationship, he loves when I wear lace or do a little sexy striptease. And he’s a firm lights-on guy. Porn always has the lights on.

And yet, in our nearly decade-long relationship, we’d never watched porn together. It has always…

Last week I posted what is, hands down, my most successful article on Medium to date. The actual stats of the piece are unimportant. My record-shattering views, reads, and earnings might be a flop for another writer or feel like a pipe dream for someone else.

But for me, this article was an unequivocal success. So did that taste of success send my Imposter Syndrome retreating? Nope. Over the last few days, my feelings of self-doubt have taken on new, unexpected forms. Luckily, I’ve played this game before. And there are ways to win.

1 Imposter Syndrome plays dirty with…

Life Lessons

If you’re a fan of the show Shark Tank, chances are pretty great you already know about The Sleep Styler Curlers. These odd velcro-encrusted foam rollers you wrap up in damp hair promise full, wavy locks without damaging heat or harsh chemical goos.

I’d bought a set a few years ago and promptly let them languish in the bottom of my bathroom cabinet, still zipped up in their snug little plastic bag.

I describe my fashion goals as pin-up librarian MILF. I sweep my hair up in the twisted pin curls of the 30s or else the overstated victory rolls…