2016: A note on gratitude
Gratitude makes sense of the past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
— Melody Beattie
As of January 2016, I’ve kept a gratitude journal. The idea is simple; every night before bed (as consistently as possible), I write at least three things for which I feel grateful.
This practice was inspired by the number of thought leaders who’ve sworn by the positive effects of expressing gratitude on a regular basis: Oprah Winfrey, Robin Sharma, and Brené Brown, to name a few.
I was curious; how effective would this focused approach to journaling be on my everyday outlook, especially when things weren’t going as well as I’d like? Could this help combat negativity bias?
Initially, I wasn’t quite sure what to write. I’d tentatively scribe a few lines of one, two, three things I felt I should give thanks for, and leave it at that. What began as barely a paragraph has blossomed into a series of whole page entries — a trove of details from the feeling of my mom’s embrace, to the sound of my dad’s infectious giggle, to the warming presence of my sisters.
With Thanksgiving 2016 here, I’d like to share some of what I’ve appreciated this year. The things I appreciate most in life tend to be magical moments, and uplifting human connection.
What I’ve come to understand is that what makes these moments “magical” can be rare or commonplace; the pixie dust is in the eye of the beholder.
“Today with the frigid winds + temp I am very thankful for the blessing of shelter with heating.” — January 9, 2016
“Thankful for 아빠 (Dad), who is always so eager to see me and happy to know I’m home. It’s really heartwarming to know someone looks forward to seeing you and loves you so much. Thankful for 엄마 (Mom) and how she keeps the home in order, cooks homemade meals and always keeps me and my sisters in mind. Food is love.” — January 12, 2016
“Grateful today for family/friends/cousins in the Yang sisters, and the privilege of seeing baby Emerson grow up. A few months shy of 2 years, she is already so big, intelligent, and shaping up to be a warm delight.” — January 16, 2016
“As part of Kristen’s Shine On Challenge, we had lunches to hand out to the homeless/those in need, plus $60 additional to allow us to contribute more. We met a handful of people, and all we helped were very thankful and said, “bless you.” Two men in particular really stood out as they spent time talking to us, the first, Victor with his great sense of humor, and the second, Gary, with his tales of life at shelters. Victor is a cook and carpenter, and Gary is a hairdresser and motorcyclist. Finding these details out had me thinking about how little one can know about another simply by looking at their current situation. I realized how lonely these two might feel, as they were so eager to chat to us as we were willing to listen and converse. I also realized that shelters are great theoretically, but the truth of these spaces, their politics and lack of serenity and rampant drug use amongst inhabitants are less than ideal. Dehumanizing, even, as Gary preferred to sleep outside on the cold streets as it felt safer than the shelter. I felt bad thinking about feeling cold or hungry, as it couldn’t have been more than a small fraction of the cold and hunger the homeless feel. This day, the stories heard, and connections made shed light on privilege and blessings, empathy’s importance, and I am grateful.” — February 5, 2016
“I’m grateful for the baby albums 엄마 (Mom) so meticulously curated for each of the three of us. That I can open one up, and recount memories I didn’t know were part of my history, and to feel the love emanating from each photo, is such an amazing experience.” — March 24, 2016
“I’m grateful for special connections that remind us how small this vast and beautiful world is.” — March 15, 2016
“I am grateful for never going hungry, or going a day without wondering if I am loved.” — May 3, 2016
“So very thankful for positive women in my life, who are not only sisters and friends, but love and life coaches for me as well. They remind me to prioritize taking care of myself, to go easy on myself when experiencing disappointment, but to also recognize when a guy is not worth it. They help me keep my head on my shoulders, my feet on the ground, and my heart intact. S/O to Dimple and Leslyn.” — June 21, 2016
“I am grateful for Carianne, the kind stranger I met yesterday while waiting for a cab in the pouring rain. She lives in Floral Park and invited me to share her Uber, dropping me off just 2 blocks from home. I didn’t have to wait 30+ minutes for a cab at 1AM in the rain on July 4th. So generous!” — July 6, 2016
“This past weekend was so lovely. Went to Boston to visit Leslyn + say bye to Ashlee before she moves to LA. Also had AM coffee with Daniel Acheampong. So many wonderful people in my life, many of whom I’ve met through Brandeis. I’m grateful for these people, their friendships, and to have them in my corner.” — July 17, 2016
“Grateful for today’s amazing sunset run along the Hudson River. All of the indigos, blues, oranges, and the purple tinge of the water surface, light reflecting off of the river and glass buildings… the cool weather… it was all so magical.” — August 4, 2016
“So grateful for this ephemeral, joyful and warm period of the year in NYC. It’s my favorite, along with Fall. Summer always means trips upstate, to outdoor spaces and the beach. The sight of the first break of water is so incredibly gratifying and euphoric.” — August 7, 2016
“I’m grateful for this getaway with my sisters, brother Dan, and Toby, in a cute house tucked away in Chatham. I’m grateful for these moments to pull away from the bustle of the city and Queens, for limited cell/internet service (which is kind of difficult to adjust to TBH), and to be surrounded by greenery. :)” — August 12, 2016
“I’m grateful for my body — my able, willing, trainable, malleable, powerful body. I feel it working during my workouts, I feel its reactions depending on what I drink/eat and how much I sleep. It’s a blessing and my responsibility to take the best care of it that I can. And hopefully in return, it will take me far.” — August 22, 2016
“I’m grateful for kindred souls like Christy Kang, who are not only my best friends but also a partner in navigating the existential meaning of life. Friends who just GET it, no further explanation/justification needed. But they just GET where you’re at and what you ultimately want to achieve (no matter how difficult to articulate because it’s so spiritual/philosophical) are just so damn special!” — August 25, 2016
“Gratitude for the N’Sync and Backstreet Boy car karaoke session with Yumi, Karen, and John — so hilarious, such good times.” — August 27, 2016
“Grateful for yesterday’s amazing summer day, kickin’ it on Long Beach with Trisha + new friends, swimming in the sea and playing beach volleyball. Grateful for Kamayan night at Trisha’s, making corn with Chanelle + Emizz, karaoke, feasting, boozing. Amazing company is one of the very best things in life.” — August 28, 2016
“I’m grateful for my loving parents, who always think of their daughters, even when we don’t ask them to. Their love is such a blessing. I’m grateful to hear them relaxing in the evening, giggling together at the TV shows or with/at each other. It’s really like music to my ears, and my heart feels so full when I hear them laugh.” — August 29, 2016
“I’m grateful for a growing understanding within — that at my core, I am a peaceful, mellow, observant soul with untapped wisdom of old. That the anxiety, stress, anger, frustration, and sadness I feel serve to teach lessons/provide awareness, and I am not those feelings.” — September 8, 2016
“Grateful for my parents’ marriage seeing its 42nd anniversary […] Grateful for evenings with family. Especially on a day like today, to be with family and recognize the significance of this blessing, is so important. I am infinitely blessed.” — September 11, 2016
“Grateful for various sources of decompressing — music, running, yoga, meditating, admiring flowers, sitting int he sun and feeling its warmth. There’s so much that can easily be overlooked, yet add so much depth to the present. I’m grateful for how I experience the world around me, and the lessons I’m learning on presence and centering myself.” — September 12, 2016
“Grateful for and humbled by this birthday weekend, which was abundant with love, good vibes, and beautiful people. I’m blessed to be able to call these people my friends, my family. From dinner with my girlfriends, to the big night out, to loving messages wishing me a happy birthday, to tonight’s family dinner with 엄마 (Mom) toiling away in the kitchen… so grateful for this outpouring of love. So warm-fuzzy, like I’m wrapped in a giant fluffy blanket with hot cocoa by the fire. Feels that good.” — October 23, 2016
“I am grateful for the general agency I have over my body, that I live + grew up in this country that has strived to treat women as equal to men. I hope we do not regress. I am grateful for community and safe space. Ryan + Nicole organized a little get-together at Jeepney. Just to support, laugh, chat — no agenda. And it was beautiful, and I’m grateful for good-hearted, warm people with genuine interest in the world and in humanity. They give me hope.” — November 9, 2016 (post-election day)
“I am so grateful to exist in this time of civil action, when people — friends and strangers alike, all colors and cultures — are banding together to fight those who threaten our livelihood, the safety of our children, and the freedoms that made America the great country it is today. I hope to have the courage to stand up myself, to speak, to fight, to love, to stand in solidarity.” — November 11, 2016
These are just a select 24 things from the last 11 months. There are so many dear friends, strangers, feelings, sounds, sights, tastes, and moments that aren’t listed, for the sake of semi-brevity.
Keeping a gratitude journal has honed my awareness and appreciation of my blessings, both hidden and obvious. It’s heightened the understanding that I already have all I need. And it’s nudged me to keep on workin‘ on my self and my craft, so that I can pay it forward.
I hope that you take time to give thanks this year (and not just today!). If you find that practicing gratitude isn’t quite as second-nature as you’d like it be (my practice definitely needed a kickstart), consider starting a gratitude journal of your own. You might be pleasantly surprised as to how your mindset shifts, and how even the seemingly mundane details can provide so much joy.
What are you thankful for today?
xo Haemee
This post was originally published on November 24, 2016 on www.altstatquo.com
