To Be Interesting, Be Interested!

Ahmad Altaf
Nov 2 · 3 min read

How are you doing? Are you feeling better today? Do you want more rest? These three simple questions were all I needed to get the point of Mr. Dale Carnegie about winning friends and influencing people. These were the questions which I asked from my office boy, coming back from a long leave due to serious illness, and they triggered a captivating conversation.

His answers made me realize that how easy it is to win someone by just taking an interest in them. A boy of which I used to think that he has nothing to say, had a lot to say upon asking these questions and more importantly I just made a new friend. By showing a genuine interest in him, he became much more interested in me.

Did you ever notice? We always hate those people who just talk about themselves, about their achievements, about their stories, about their lives and have zero interest in what others have to say. I always used to ignore such people but was unaware of the reason and now after reading the segment from How To Win Friends And Influence People By Dale Carnegie, everything has come to pieces.

“Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.”

Yesterday, I was having a conversation with one of the waiters of a famous food chain about this concept of showing interest in others. He told me that in their training manual, there is a rule which is on top of the list i.e. 'Look, Listen and Speak'. According to him, the customers like to speak and listening to us used to be their least priority. He told me that they have been assigned tasks to sell a specific product and his key to success was to engage others in conversation which involves really listening to what is being said and then asking questions.

One of the key principles, Dale Carnegie talks about in his book is “become genuinely interested in other people.” This is something that I have done on many occasions in my life but has never done consciously. You will be amazed how fascinating it is to apply this principle in your lives. It triggers a beautiful conversation, helps in building new connections and opens up more opportunities.

There are a lot of examples in the book which show us the importance of being genuinely interested like the story of editor of a leading magazine, secret magic of Howard Thurston, musical fate of George Dyke of North Warren, the secrets of Theodore Roosevelt’s astonishing popularity, charming sales representative Edward M. Sykes, Jr., of Chatham and many more.

Look! Let’s face it! we all like to hear our own voices. We all want to be heard. From quite a young age, we like to tell stories, give advice, make decisions but how much time do we spend in learning how to question? How to really listen? We should start doing it now otherwise it won't have a positive impact as Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist said in his book:

"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring".

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