Malaise

Some days I forget the pain, that icky feeling that envelops you, overwhelms you and smothers you. Distractions are efficient numbing agents, be it careless laughter or wheedled smiles.

But some days, especially when I feel extra emotionally strained under stress and pressure, the flood gates are smashed open, revealing, exposing, baring, every single tiny insecurity that I feel.

Not every hurtful experience has a tangible memory associated with it, some are just disembodied masses of negativity, striking, whipping with precise, pointed barbs. The barbs cling and catch on the metaphorical flesh of my heart and mind, the spectral agony striking electric through the networks traversing my body, a crisscross of repetitive dull aches.

I try to soothe the suffering, to dampen the sharp edges of the unyielding blade, be it through writing or otherwise

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