Fawad Says PM’s Tank Use Not VIP Protocol

PM Khan’s use of a tank to travel to Bani Gala cannot be called VIP protocol, Information Minister Fawad Chaudhry said in a press conference today. This is a necessary security measure due to severe threats to the PM’s life and cannot be avoided, he added.
“The tank runs on diesel and as you know we have just slashed diesel prices,” said Mr. Chaudhry. “The cost of the tank is negligible and comes to only Rs. 20 per minute.”
“Furthermore, using the tank means we do not have to block roads for the protocol as the PM can simply crush any car that comes in the way or blow it up,” the minister told reporters. “This is will reduce any inconvenience caused to citizens and put fear into the hearts of the enemy dogs.”
While critics pointed out that the tank went against the recently announced austerity measures by the government, noted mathematician and economist Farrukh Saleem dismissed this notion.
“If you assume the PM fells 10 trees and destroys 5 cars on his route to Bani Gala, and assume each car and tree is worth $100, then we have a cost of $1500 per trip,” he said.
“However, we must remember that the PM has planted over 1 billion trees, and even if you take one of these trees to be worth $1, and subtract the cost of the destroyed trees and cars, the profits are astronomical.”
“PM Khan has added $999,998,500 to the economy simply by using a tank for his transport which is truly astonishing,” Mr. Saleem said.
Another acclaimed media personality, Mr. Wajahat S Khan, who had turned up to the press conference in full camouflage, called the move “unprecedented” “unbelievable” and “something which should have happened a long time ago.”
Meanwhile, the minister did not give any details as to why the PM had blown up the Convention Center on a recent trip. He denied rumours that PM Khan had accidentally pressed the wrong button while trying to take a call from the French president.
“That story is completely false,” he said.
