Love in the Time of CoVid-19

The instinct is to run, get busy, fake a sense of control.

I type these words as a worldwide pandemic looms. Everything feels like an ominous beginning of an apocalyptic movie. Having lived through war, I revert to pragmatic action mode. Store up on some nonperishable foods, make sure I have some cash on me, and self-quarantine for a while. Simple. Pragmatic. Smart.

I thought I had it all figured out and initiated my plan to self-isolate. I started the day with a 40-minute timer for a meditation. Not even within a minute of being on my cushion, tears started flowing down my face. I felt a sense of suppressed dread as the implications of all that was going on around me registered. It was not just about me. Yes, I have a strong immune system and the luxury of being able to self-isolate. The rest of the world is not so lucky. I have a strong chance at staying healthy, but many others have died, and others are not as well positioned due to their age, health conditions, circumstances, or just random chance.

I felt compassion well up in me for all other humans with whom I share this experience. We are all the same, we are all fragile, we are all interconnected, and currently, we are all (whether directly or through those we love) at risk. I let this sense of compassion take over me as I recognized a silver lining in a scene that looked somewhat bleak. It was about perspective and while my isolated perspective tells me that all will be well, I am in fact not isolated. My strings of connection span far and wide and my shared humanity with those around me makes me feel like I should be doing more, like I should be helping in some way. An urge to control the uncontrollable.

Having glimpsed at the silver lining of compassion, I decided to search for the good I can find in this situation. Life is about perspective and now I choose to direct my perspective towards the good that I can bring and the good that is being demonstrated throughout the world in the midst of this unpleasant situation. After all what is more human than hope? With some bleak realities surrounding us, it becomes essential to highlight glimmers of light and goodness wherever we find them.

As an eternal optimist, here is a list of a few silver linings I’ve identified as this pandemic continues to propagate:

A Powerful Reminder of our Interconnectedness.

We are all impacted by the spread of Coronavirus. This is truly the most unifying human condition at the moment. It is a reminder that despite our religious, social, ethnic, racial, philosophical, ideological, and physical differences, we are all one species whose destiny is more interconnected than we have allowed ourselves to acknowledge. We share a common biological dependence on our very fragile and precise environment. A dependence that we tend to overlook as things have functioned mostly in our favor up until this point. We were never at such an alarming juncture that requires our full attention and collaboration.

Natural disasters caused by rapid climate change, increasing socioeconomic inequality and now a global pandemic seem to remind us that our fates are deeply linked and that our cooperation is becoming increasingly crucial in order to ensure the survival of our species. Whether we like it or not, whether we agree with it or not, our world is now inherently interconnected to the point where our well-being is further converging with each passing day. Isolationism is no longer possible, as you can no longer ward off environmental or economic threats on a stand-alone basis, let alone any emerging biological threat. Recent events have shown us that more than ever, we need to act collaboratively for the well-being, if not survival, of all involved.

A Chance to Demonstrate and Observe Kindness towards Others.

I am witnessing acts of kindness everywhere I turn. People are showing love and concern, checking up on each other, helping family members and friends to stock up on essentials, and organizing community efforts to assist the elderly and others in need. People across political lines are working to ensure equal access to diagnosis and essential healthcare, health professionals are toiling diligently to care for those who are infected, and scientists are working around the clock to provide an expedient cure.

Ultimately, you find what you look for. You can tune into the panic, or you can make it a point to observe all the heartwarming acts of humanity that are being demonstrated. If you look deeply, you will find that love and kindness continue to exist even in the harshest of situations. We can all make it a goal to be as helpful and compassionate as possible towards others during this time.

An Opportunity to Befriend Uncomfortable Feelings.

It is not just about me; it is about a collective experience of which I am one pixel. I feel a bit anxious at my inability to control the situation. But this anxiety I am experiencing is another feeling I will have to learn to sit through. I cannot help that it is my current reaction. The only thing I can control right now is to fully embrace it and leave it in the moment. Every time it creeps back up, I have to sit through it until it loses its grip. Learning to sit with the feeling of loss of control and any resulting anxiety is a feat, but one worth embracing.

I am once again learning that acknowledging any difficult emotions and allowing them to exist actually helps in transmuting them. Feelings are real and valid, but they are also transient and inherently harmless. It is our resistance and judgement towards uncomfortable feelings that make them far more problematic than they naturally are. By consciously working on allowing them the space to exist, without resistance, their grip is loosened; a practice that has many significant long-term benefits. This situation is another great opportunity to strengthen the muscle of awareness and acceptance of my inner landscape.

“Keep your face always towards the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you.” — Walt Whitman

Those are simply some quick bright spots that I’ve tuned into. My goal is to consciously grow this list as the situation develops.

It is beneficial to proactively remind ourselves that goodness and kindness exist in abundance even in the most challenging situations. Perspective is everything and kind action towards ourselves and others makes us regain a needed sense of control and feeling of contribution while hopefully improving the condition of others around us.

At times like this, we need to be willfully conscious of tuning our perspective in favor of the light, to see beyond the natural bias towards doom and gloom, and connect with our nature of compassion and common humanity. As the wise Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh notes: “the ocean of suffering is immense, but if you turn around, you can see the land.”