How To Set A Challenging Boundary From Start To Finish

Boundaries are the expectations and limitations that create a firm outline around your sense of self. They separate your physical space, feelings, needs, and responsibilities from others’. In essence, boundaries provide a container from which you can live safely and freely.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Darlene Lancer describes several types of boundaries:

Material boundaries determine whether you give or lend things, such as your money, car, clothes, books, food, or toothbrush.

Physical boundaries pertain to your personal space, privacy, and body. Do you give a handshake or a hug — to whom and when? How do you feel about loud music, nudity, and locked doors?

Mental boundaries apply to your thoughts, values, and opinions. Are you easily suggestible? Do you know what you believe, and can you hold onto your opinions? Can you listen with an open mind to someone else’s opinion without becoming rigid? If you become highly emotional, argumentative, or defensive, you may have weak emotional boundaries.

Emotional boundaries distinguish separating your emotions and responsibility for them from someone else’s. It’s like an imaginary line or force field that separates you and others. Healthy boundaries prevent you from giving advice, blaming or…