95 Things I Should Do Every Day According to the Internet
Sara Kloek

  1. Hit snooze button, thrice. 2. Exfoliate backside with fingernails. 3. Exhale, then… 4. Inhale. 5. Determine the weather by opening a window. then scream an obscenity 6. Smile 7. Look in the mirror and say Candyman three times. 8. Say Beetlejuice three times. 9. Realize you are awake if neither fantastical character show up in previous 2 steps. 10. Take a shower under a natural spring waterfall. 11. Where only natural fibers grown by your own body. 12. Go outside to get the newspaper and wave for five minutes as your neighbors leave for work. 13. Make hats from your newspaper and give them to people with bad hair days. 14. Go back home to feed your felines. 15. Cry. 16. Break unnecessary items in your house. 17. Take a cat nap. 18. Blog about your day. 19. Kegels. 20. Attend cult social. 21. Drink the punch. 22. Hope you are alive in order to hit snooze in the morning.
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