Umair, you seem like a very neat person and it hurts to see you publicly suffering as I feel your essays demonstrate. I understand because no less than 5 years ago I felt just as you do. You’re not alone in your thoughts, but I urge you to take the next step and move past the grief into acceptance where we can begin preparing for the next phase. The horrors of life are on full display, amplified through every aspect of our culture, but sometimes what seems like a eulogy may actually be an invocation, and there are paths forward if we dare to see them.
None but the most foolish and desperate wish to fall back into barbarism and until there is a massive interruption in food and energy, people will hang on to their civility as long as possible. Intrinsic to human behavior is the understanding that life is not a zero-sum game and cooperation is the foundation of all human civilizations, even the ones yet to come. There may come a point at which we can no longer hold it together, but for now we’re safer and healthier than humans (particularly Americans, I can’t speak as well for others) have ever been. There’s a lot of reason to hope and a many reasons to continue fighting for a better future.
Love of life, the miracle of sentience and deep abiding faith in the kernels of humanity, often against the evidence of our eyes, have brought to a point in time where most can agree that every person’s life is priceless and worth fighting for — even if you don’t actually like them. If you gaze into the abyss prepare to find yourself (it is a mirror after all), and discover that you are the accumulation of hopes,fears, joys and pains of your ancestors who lived so you could be here today. It is our job to live for those who come tomorrow. If the ship is sinking, get a bucket and start bailing because this is the one and only chance we get.