Home Sweet, What?
“So what’s it like being home?” A question I am frequenting in conversations with people when seeing them again. Every time I have to stop for a second and think about how to answer that. Being home is great, I’ve seen people I haven’t seen in a year or so who I have missed very much. I’ve been able to eat things I haven’t eaten in a year like Chickfila and good Mexican food. Being home is also weird, like really weird. I understand EVERYTHING people are saying around me and that hasn’t happened for almost a year. I also go out in public and run into people I know, I forget that I’m home so I just don’t talk to them. Then I remember I actually do know them, they don’t just look like someone I know because I am home now.
There are days I just stay in bed and binge watch Netflix because I don’t know what else to do. Most days I just want to be around people because that’s what I’ve been used to for the last 11 months. The Race definitely made me more of an introvert, but I need community and I still like hanging out with people, even if we aren’t doing anything. This year has been amazing and I wouldn’t change that for anything, but now being home I can’t just go to the room next door and have a handful of people to hang out with.
Also I am missing the places I have been, now that I’m home. Watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics was weird because seeing athletes from all the countries we went made me think of the times I spent in those places. Then the Refugee team came on and I started crying. Thinking about all the friends I have met along the way and how much of an impact working with the refugees made in my life. The hope that they are embodying for their families they left in their home countries and the millions of people being displaced by war. I am excited to watch them compete and have the opportunity to do something they are good at that they love doing.
I guess I’m still trying to process what it is like being home. Because it’s not bad but it’s not amazing, right now it just is and that’s ok. Some days I struggle and I ask God what He wants next for me and I don’t get an answer. Other days I see friends and the excitement of us getting to share about the last year with each other is really good. I think it’s easy for us to fall back into the person we were before the race and that isn’t who I want to be. I don’t think you can leave your life for a year (or any extended period of time really) and come back the person you were before. The people you interact with, the things you see, the way you live life in a new setting. It all has an effect on you and you become a different person because of them.
So keep asking me questions about the Race and being home. My answer might change every time you ask me, it might just be depending on the day but I think that’s expected. I’m going to continue to try and write whenever I can to help process things, I’m sure thoughts will be all over the place at times. Thanks for sticking with me through this journey and now the journey of being home!