What makes you happy?
I’ve been struggling with this question for a while now.
What is it that makes me happy?
I can identify moments when I am at my happiest, but I struggle to pinpoint exactly why that is. Or what the cause is.
I know, and have previously mentioned, that in the moments when I believe I am an amazing person — clever, confident, comfortable-in-my-own-skin, caring, and capable — I feel happy.
I’ve tried to interrogate this to find out how I can do this more in order to be happy more, or be more happy.
I usually feel this way (like an amazing person) when I can tell that something I’ve said or done has made someone else happy. When I’ve made others laugh… even at my own expense. Often at my own expense.
I feel like it’s a bit of a cycle, or perhaps a habit I need to form. The happier I am, the more I will be able to share that happiness with others. And the more I share that happiness, the happier I’ll become.
Perhaps the more I acknowledge this, the more I do it, the simpler it will become. It takes a few conscious actions to get the ball rolling though.
If the people I come in to contact with leave me feeling better than they did before, I feel good. Like a winner. And I do love to win.
That’s another thing that makes me happy. Winning!
Everyone loves winning, let’s not bullshit ourselves. I’m just not that convinced that I like winning at someone’s expense. Because then they’re not happy and that doesn’t make me happy. It’s confusing.
I started making a list of what makes me happy a while ago. It looked like this:
Happiness is chocolate.
Happiness is beer.
Happiness is coffee.
Happiness is sunshine.
Happiness is a kind gesture.
Happiness is sunrise.
Happiness is music.
Happiness is a smile.
Happiness is rain.
Happiness is ice-cream.
Happiness is that special look — yes that one.
Happiness is snow.
Happiness is contentment.
Happiness is service.
Happiness is sharing.
Happiness is solitude.
Happiness is giving.
Happiness is play.
Happiness is learning.
Happiness is a soft touch.
Happiness is beer (it deserves a second mention).
Happiness is togetherness.
Happiness is silence.
I soon realized that the list will be very long, as it should be. One can find happiness in the smallest and simplest things in life.
“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Happiness really comes from within. Happiness is a state of mind. A positive mindset leads to happiness. Happiness is a habit.
As with everything else, it starts with a conscious decision, followed by deliberate action.
Here’s my action list in the pursuit of happiness (for now at least):
A) Be more me. I know who (what) I want to become, and achieving it will bring happiness. If I’m not authentic, I’ll be less happy. It’s not selfish, it’s self love.
B) Pursue meaning. Something else I’m still figuring out for myself. It’s OK that it takes time. Doing meaningful work will make me happy, amongst other things. Hey, if I work at it, I’ll end up doing many meaningful things in my lifetime!
C) Give freely of myself. My definition of giving freely of myself is to be present when I talk to someone, to honor my commitments, to commit random acts of kindness. I like people, and I enjoy supporting others. As long as it doesn’t conflict with A or B.
D) Make others laugh. Sometimes at my own expense, but not too much — clowns wear masks to hide the unhappiness. I’m not the mask type, just me. I’m fun to be around anyway, most of the time.
E) Laugh. A lot. I’ve learned to laugh more. It doesn’t necessarily make me happy but it helps me lighten the hell up. Laughing releases endorphins and leads to a sense of wellbeing. I can do with more of that.
F) Eat, drink, and be merry. Look after my body and pay attention to what I feed it. A strong and healthy mind requires a strong and healthy body. There’s plenty proof out there. I’m working on finding the right balance for me.
I do love ice-cream though — it definitely makes me happy!
“Some things are too important to be taken seriously.” ― Oscar Wilde