Everyday I try to speak out loud the beauty I see in others, but often I forget to speak out loud the beauty I see in myself. For so many years I had these tapes/thoughts in my head that I am not enough. No one ever said those words to me, I just somehow believed it. Part of my personal work was replacing negative tapes with positive ones; even if I didn’t believe them. I had to fake it, until they became real. So for a long time the conversation in my head would go something like this, “your not enough, you’re a piece of crap.” 5 second pause, “I am enough!” 1 second pause, “no your not, you’re unworthy.” 5 second pause, “I am enough!” I have to admit the positive thinking didn’t change all at once; it was gradual. The first 2 years I didn’t like myself. Year 3, started to like myself. Year 4, liked myself. Year 5–6, started to love myself. Year 7, loved myself. Year 8, started to believe I was enough. Year 9, believed I was enough.
I don’t say this to discourage you, rather to show you I had to put in as much mental work with the positive thinking as I did with the negative. I had to surround myself with people who could speak beauty into me, and who would love me until I learned how to love myself.
You are worth fighting for; so create a positive mantra, and repeat the hell out of it. Mine is, I am worthy of good. What will yours be today?