I hate migraines, and they are starting to control my life. That is the least of the heap of garbage I need to deal with. What do you do when you don't trust yourself? What do you do when the thoughts in your mind control the physical and mental well being of self? Professional help is crap, I have been trying that and everything else for 30 years. When do you just go mad? What do you do when you let people use you, walk all over you, treat you as they wish because you are lost. The wounds never heal, and there is no spiritual awakening, or trauma specialist that can lift the hex of whatever this is. It has no name, one starts out thinking they know a little about something realizing there is nothing. What does one do when every resource has been tapped, no family, no money, no,no,no,no. I hear one more pathetic human being claiming they have the solution, spiritual fix, therapist or any other b.s. answers they found I’m going to just stop. When the ‘breaking point’ does not have any definition. Language itself feels like a game of “guess what I really mean” and one can no longer separate any thought of what is, and what is not.

When one knows that their body is decaying because of stress, and this circle just keeps going and going and everyone says “it has to get better” but it never does. Then what?