If I Was a Monk
Tales from the vespitole
if I was a monk
I’d live in a monastery
dreaming of a home in Rome
I’d wear a pious robe
and hold out a bowl
and have my dinner for free
I’d hold young womens’ hands
when they came for confession
and tell them about Rasputin
I’d live a life of piety
and a little dash of lethargy
and try not to think about the nun next door…