Nobody Likes Missionary Position

Rules of Being a Top


The other day while out to brunch with my best friend in a very loud a crowded place we fell upon the topic of sex. Since we are both gay it is no suprise that we have slept with eachother. Once was an accident and we said it would never happen again and right after that discussion he was face down ass up with me pounding his ass like it would take me into another demention if I tried hard enough. Needless to say I know how he likes it.

Lets not forget this is the same bestfriend that has been happily dating a great guy for the last month. They have had a few moments of open relationship but the moments where we were cuming inside eachother where moments of monogomy between them. Oops!

Anyways we were at brunch and discussing bumpong uglies when he told me how his boyfriend liked to fuck. His boyfriend is a top and decently hung, I am told, and only likes missionary position. So lets call the boyfriend Cadet and my best friend Clifford because, unlike his boyfriend, he loves it doggy style.

Here is whats wrong with Cadet. He is a top and I feel that if you are shoving a cock into someones ass, which I must say is extreamely painful, you should be willing to get simi-creative. It is hard work being a bottom and my lazy ass knows it which is why, when given the option, I top.

However, I give it my all. One minute you would be face down and feet behind your ears and two minutes later you would be off the bed with my face in your ass and you handstanding on the floor. I feel bad for people who have boring sex. I feel bad for Clifford. So I understand when he wants someone else to pound him out. I think sex is like dinner. You can have the same thing night after night but soon it gets boring and you just want to cover it in hot sauce.

Johnny Hammerstix

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