This Guy Has ‘Comedian’ In His Facebook Name

This guy has ‘Comedian’ in his Facebook name but I’m pretty sure his name is just Brad. He has 5 fan pages for his stand up with less than 3 followers. He has his own hashtag he’s been using for 3 years, #MadBradJokez. Nobody else has used it but it’ll probably catch on in another year if he doesn’t stop burying it under @midnight submissions. He’s still submitting Cosby jokes.

This guy says “Every show is a bringer show.” He puts on a show at the Comedy Store called “The Titty Titty Boob Boob Hour.” I thought it was a ladies showcase but there were no women in it. Brad has five jokes about his girlfriend being bad at blowjobs. When I asked what her name was he said “Bradinia.”

This guy smells like he has a ferret.

This guy is all about the open mic grind. He tweets puns about the grind. None of them are about coffee. He attends five mics a night. He has never watched another person’s set. He’s still doing a Mitch Hedberg joke from 1998. Only he stretches it out to 3 minutes and Smacky the Frog gets drugged by Bill Cosby. Pretty much all this guy’s jokes end with Bill Cosby. He also has a lot of jokes about what he would do if he were Adam Sandler in Click. Those also end with Bill Cosby.

This guy used to get a new Tinder account every week so he could ‘super like’ me at mics but then I turned 27 and was out of his chosen age range. I’m pretty sure he’s in his 50s. He has a joke where he confuses the words ‘Rolex’ and ‘Rolodex.’ He calls women his own age “older women.”

This guy is the head of Showtime Comedy.

This guy makes vines in the bathroom. He talks to us in the shower like he’s Ferris Bueller. Except this Ferris Bueller has weird nipples. He puts out 35 vines a day. Then he tweets them out with 30 hashtags.

This guy has Tab in his fridge. I don’t know why that’s suspicious, but it is. I think he murdered somebody in the 70s.

This guy’s a local stand up legend.