First Step: Dilemmas of a College Senior

Lets pretend my entire life is to be spent sailing a ship that I’m the captain of. I start from the shore when I was born and end when I reach the horizon. Again, this is in my make-believe crazy scenarios. Graduation. Career. Investment. Marriage. Pet. Plant. Kids. Insurance. House. Adulthood. All these words are coming in fast to the sight of my ship. And I’m just not quite ready to encounter these obstacles in my way.

In my almost 22 years of life, I’ve had probably over dozens of interviews for countless types of jobs; Anything from luxury spa receptionist, host, server, secretary and even assistant manager positions. For some reason when I think back on those interviews that I’ve had, they don’t seem like gigantic obstacles that if I fail at overcoming them then my ship might just sink before I even get to the edge of the world. I was never all that nervous; Yes, if i don’t get the job then I have to look for another one. But these jobs are temporary, a mean for a teenager to earn some extra cash and gain the knowledge of the value of a dollar. Its not long term, and it certainly would not be my career for the rest of my life.

I am now a Senior in college, and also going to be a super senior. Lets face it, now a days with both private and public universities sucking our money away in tuition, who isn’t on the track to be a fifth year? I am also at the time in my studies where I’ve learned, learned enough where now I need to use these skills and apply them to real life. Thats right, my abilities now have to affect something a lot bigger than just my school projects. And the big question is: Who is going to give me that opportunity? I’ve just had my first few interviews for a software engineering internship. I was never nervous or terrified of interviews or speaking to potential employers until now. Why now? Because this is going to be on this piece of paper called my resume for the rest of my life. And I need this internship to get another one and hopefully become good enough at applying the stuff I learned in school to real life problems where I can find a career job; and not become an unemployed loser with nothing to talk about at high school reunions. And during these interviews I realized that even though I spent so many tortuous hours in school sitting in lectures, studying, watching tutorials, doing homework, taking quizzes and exams, I am not even close to knowing enough to “adult” in my field. As I am trying my best to search in the back of my mind for the information on how to implement a hash table in C++ from three semesters ago, I am pleading with my eyes to my interviewer “please, I swear I know this! I’ve just never have to actually use anything I learned in school so it takes me a while to remember…” or “I’ll do anything! I’ll be a, pardon my language, coffee bitch, I just need a job!” But really, that’s just me or any other college kid being dramatic and trying to get a summer internship before finals is closing in; then it’s time to freak out.

so who is going to give me that opportunity? The answer is: no one. YOU have to go get that opportunity. If I actually stop being a drama queen and think about it, no I don’t want to be someone’s coffee bitch. (but if I have to just because I am an intern, I guess I will) All jokes aside, I don’t want just an internship. I want an internship where I can apply what I attained in school to a real job. I want to acquire more than what is taught in school. I want to know how the real tech world works. I want to work for someone that will help me grow not only as a software engineer but as a person too. And maybe when I graduate(if I actually can…) I can go back to that awesome company that saw the tiny little spark of potential in me that can become the launch of a rocket. The biggest lesson I was taught on this ship is that I have to be proactive. There is no one standing on shores of islands waiting for me to pass by to give me free handouts in life. I have to steer my sails. I also realized that I shouldn’t sell myself short. I thought because its my first time looking for an internship in my career field I wouldn’t know anything. Im basically a toddler learning how to walk. As I sweated through my first interview with ViaSat, I found out that I actually did know answers to questions. I was proud that I have solutions in my little head to his problems. Tomorrow is my final interview with Amazon and of course I would be blogging my worries away instead of studying. But even if I don’t pass, I will still walk away with just a little bit more knowledge than I went in with. Be proactive, be curious and be humble. Know your weaknesses and strengths. 
So who is going to give me that opportunity? Me.

Wish me luck!
H