Forget His Hundred Days, What About Yours?
If you’re inspired Tweet #yourhundreddays
My inbox and notification river are over-flowing with media reports on President Trump’s first 100 days. We don’t know if history will judge them forever important, but it made me realize how much our lives proceed in random directions unaffected by such daily media obsessions.
So here is my random cultural channeling of 100 things that someone, somewhere did in the same 100 days everyone is talking about.
1. Found the courage to end a relationship.
2. Found the courage to start a relationship.
3. Picked up a book they put down 10 years ago. Then quickly put it down again.
4. Inhaled the smell of newly mown grass and nearly wept.
5. Decided not to look back.
6. Started chemotherapy.
7. Was declared cancer free.
8. Threw their Fitbit in the trash and started counting steps forward, not directionless ones.
9. Made someone really feel like crap and didn’t realize it until. Now.
10. Hugged a stranger.
11. Was on the receiving end of a stranger’s hug.
12. Saw something blazingly new in something boringly familiar
13. Started a colon cleanse
14. Lived entirely on superfoods for a month. (If you can call that living.)
15. Lost a friend due to Address-Line Blindness Syndrome.
16. Successfully made a chocolate soufflé after nine failed attempts
17. Comforted the dying.
18. Comforted the surviving.
19. Hung a picture upside down.
20. Finally let something go.
21. Appreciated Darwin. Really.
22. Read every word of the McCarren Internal Security Act.
23. Walked backwards up the stairs
24. Regretted something immediately.
25. Took up fencing.
26. Found an old diary, threw it out, retrieved it.
27. Spilled red wine on someone wearing white.
28. Started a non-profit selling stuff made by prisoners.
29. Went from being an accountant to a drone pilot.
30. Stopped believing what Dr. Oz. is selling.
31. Dreamed about a great product for QVC, but forgot what it was upon awakening.
32. Started drinking matcha, but decided to save for retirement instead.
33. Happily agreed to read a second bedtime story to a child. And a third.
34. Grew an entire month’s worth of meals, mojitos included.
35. Stood up when someone, anyone, entered a room.
36. Used an old girlfriend’s name as a password
37. Wished bad luck on someone and then watched it happen.
38. Checked their ancestry and learned they s actually hate a percentage of themselves.
39. Brought their old family videotapes to be digitized and got back someone else’s.
40. Spent 24 hours just listening to Gershwin.
41. Finally paid off their student loan, mailing the check from an assisted living facility.
42. Had matzo even though they’re not Jewish.
43. Had matzo even though they are Jewish.
44. Decided that opera isn’t as unbearable as they previously determined.
45. Wrote their own “Top Ten” list only to realize it wasn’t funny.
46. Tried to understand someone else’s crazy political views, and cautiously approached success.
47. Took their old clothes to the Salvation Army and didn’t ask for an inflated tax receipt.
48. Found a Brancusi sculpture in a garage sale.
49. Defied cultural norms and took up pipe smoking.
50. Gave into their real estate porn addiction after two years of abstinence.
51. Rode in a Tesla and thought it was no big deal.
52. Bought a manual typewriter hoping it would make them sound like Hemingway.
53. Forced themselves to listen to Steven Reich for an hour straight
54. Gave money to a homeless person and didn’t avoid touching their hand.
55. Left a note in the wiper blades of someone who took up two spots, quoting Gandhi.
56. Read “The Waste Land” and instantly saw fear in a handful of dust. Everywhere.
57. Thought deeply about the loss of Amy Winehouse.
58. Saw their reflection in a store window and wondered what their father was doing there.
59. Woke up desperately missing a child at college.
60. Decided that a bucket list was a really dumb idea.
61. Made this the Year of Their Microbiome.
62. Moved to Detroit.
63. Binge-watched all five seasons of “Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.”
64. Dodged a bullet.
65. Consumed an industrial foodstuff marketed as “artisanal.”
66. Stopped buying products that contain microbeads.
67. Reconsidered their views of the Dulles brothers.
68. Had a vintage umbrella restored.
69. Used “eminent” instead of “imminent” but was kindly uncorrected.
70. Clogged up a toilet in a public restroom and was flummoxed as to appropriate next steps.
71. Found something decaying in their refrigerator, home, car or office.
72. Started on an SSRI drug with regret but necessity.
73. Felt small and meaningless watching earth from a plane.
74. Felt strangely significant watching earth from a plane.
75. Recognized and enjoyed fake news for its sheer entertainment value
76. Went bowling without realizing it’s hip in Brooklyn.
77. Considered blackmailing someone.
78. Studied Bulgarian to read the poet Pencho Slaveykov.
79. Realized that rose Champagne has its place for a few months a year.
80. Found their favorite childhood toy on eBay.
81. Created a logo that was inspired by Aztec mythology
82. Skipped for the first time in 50 years.
83. Didn’t blink.
84. Learned how to practice hygge — and more complexly, learned how to spell it.
85. Successfully assembled an Ikea bookcase without resorting to expletives.
86. Broke down the barrier between self and gratitude.
87. Mastered the theramin.
88. Went euphemism-free for a month, with an occasional backslide into “right-sizing.”
89. Made a spider laugh.
90. Stopped being perpetually angry at themselves.
91. Had to say a final goodbye to a pet on the way to work.
92. Took a third job to pay for a third-grader’s EpiPen.
93. Taught a child a magic trick.
94. Got off insulin.
95. Forgave the unforgivable.
96. Slept outdoors for the first time.
97. Discovered the forever-giving richness of Sondheim.
98. Recognized that loneliness is epidemic.
99. Thanked a teacher.
100. Wrote a theme song for themselves.