After the initial shock wore off, the war of the words began. Many started pointing out that France is just the latest of victims on a long list and the first to draw such a reaction. They are right. Just one day before the Paris attacks two bombes exploded in Beirut, killing over 40 people. Both tragedies wore a trademark of ISIS, a savage group responsible for killing Syrians and Iraqis on a daily basis. The critics are right when they point out that no other similar tragedy in the world has received as much media attention and public response. But are these people also right for criticizing people saying they are sympathizing more with the French then with the Lebanese or the Syrian? Here is where it gets tricky.

Why did people only react when a European capital was hurt? Why didn’t anyone feel these things when Beirut was struck? That I cannot answer. I don’t know when we stopped noticing the deaths in Africa or the Middle East. I don’t know why the bomb taking down a fully packed Russian airplane seems to us like an unrelated footnote. We can pretend that it doesn’t, but the aftermath of Paris proved that it does. But can we really say that sympathizing with the French is wrong?

Is it unfair that a lot more people mourn the death of Europeans than the death of the Middle Easterners?

Yes, sickeningly so.

Does it mean we shouldn’t mourn after the French just because we didn’t mourn after the Lebanese?

No.

We should also take into account that adding the French flag over the profile picture on Facebook can mean a different thing to different people.

For some it is a gesture saying ‘we stand by you, France’.

For some it is a gesture of mourning over the many victims.

For some it is a gesture of support to their friends or relatives living in France.

For some it is a symbol saying ‘the terrorists cannot take our way of life away from us’.

For some it is a symbol of the fight against Islam or at least radical Islamism.

For some it is a symbol saying ‘we need to protect our borders against the Islamic refugees’.

For some it is a simple statement saying ‘This means war’.

And for some it is a reminder that some lives are deemed more important than others.

Even though I do not approve of all the reasons for French-flagging your FB profile picture, we cannot dismiss all these acts as elitism on an international scale. I am certain that most of the people were being honest in their reaction. They showed their support in spite of the fact that if the tables were turned, probably not many ‘westerners’ would be painting their profile pictures in blue, white and red of Croatia, Serbia, Slovenia or Czech Republic.

We cannot overlook the fact that some events resonate louder in our personal space than the others. And that is exactly what these attacks were aimed at, they wanted to be noticed. Perhaps they would not occur if we started hurting when they stroke Beirut. Perhaps. But we didn’t and they came to us.

They attacked a football stadium. The terrorist was one sane and brave security guard away from killing thousands of people including international football stars and the French president. One of the most powerful politicians on the ‘old continent’ and the main protagonists in the European favorite pastime.

They attacked bars and restaurants on a Friday night in a city with a thriving nightlife. We all enjoy our Friday outings with our friends, celebrating another more or less successful week.

They attacked a rock concert. Music is what makes us feel good and attending a concert is a chance to see the people that make you feel good in person. The Europeans love concerts.

And that is why this event resonated that much louder with the ‘West’. Because most of us, if not all, could see ourselves in the place of the victims. Anyone who ever visited a football match, can imagine themself there at the Stade de France. We could even hear the explosions on live TV. Anyone who loves going to a bar or a restaurant after a long week, can see themself being murdered while sitting there with friends. Anyone who loves going to concerts can imagine their life being cut short while waiting to see your heroes. I for one adore Eagles of Death Metal and if I was in Paris at the time, I could’ve easily been at Le Bataclan. The terrorists wanted Europe to hurt. They wanted to get our attention and they wanted us to fight each other on how we dealt with their attack.

One cannot condemn the people for more easily imagining themselves dying in Paris than dying in Beirut or Syria. And one cannot condemn the people for covering their profile pictures in blue, white and red to show their support to the people of France.

But one can condemn the society in general for caring more about certain lives than others. One can condemn the people responsible for the recent deaths in Egypt, Lebanon and France and for the ongoing struggle of the Iraqis and Syrians. One can condemn the people responsible for providing them with weapons. And one can condemn the people who took the bait and are getting ready to spill their fears and anger over the innocent.