Do you also get the same thoughts recurring to you from time to time? Also, similar situations, similar arguments, new people that you meet that are strangely like old ones…
In some sort of way, 2017 is a replay of 2016, expect that this time it is much better and I am able to more consciously participate in it. I am doing many of the same things as I did a year ago this time, but now I actually know what I am doing and I am using the situation to my benefit.
There has been a person in my life for the past few weeks that has supported and encouraged my ambitions, just like another person this time last year, except that right now, my ambitions go way beyond basic survival and everyday functioning. I am doing things instead of *trying to fight not being able to do things*. This is, however, not a character judgement of these two people, but a judgement of the situation and circumstances. I am not saying one person is better than the other, but at the moment I am finding this present situation a lot more comfortable to be in that the one before. We also have more things in common. Or at least, more things in common on a superficial level. Otherwise, I would say the opposite, but I am not as sure it matters as much as I used to be.
Part of it is also that I am in a place where I can handle everyday situations a lot better than last year. Last year was terrible, of course, terrible for everyone to some sort of extent, but for me, it went way beyond such intangible things as *political climate*. I could not help myself and practically single-handedly ruined something really important to me that at the moment seems like it is
gone forever, as I might not be how I was before, but the effects and memories of that past stay on, and it is understandably easier to replace the setting with another one instead of trying to repair and rebuild it into something better, more functional. And I could be sad, as much as I wanted, but it won`t change how things are, and there probably anything that would anyway. I will just have to deal with how it ended up to be and make sure the 2016 2.0 will turn out to be more successful.
This post — along with a few others — originally appeared on my blog www.editorsnotesblog.wordpress.com