I am announcing today that I went bankrupt

- Hanna Aase

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life and realize there’s nothin’ left
Look at the situation they got me facin’
I can’t live a normal life, I was raised by the street
So I gotta be down with the hood team
Too much television watching got me chasing dreams

On July 21st, Apple deleted a piece of social video history. The Wonderloop app.

Why?: Apps where the owners have been unable to afford to update them to new requirements are being deleted. We never got to finish the app, and it will always be, “What if we had raised a seed round?”.

And I went bankrupt.

By the risk I took, by not giving up, and with a background of not being led by financial motives in the first place.

That is not something I need to make public, but I choose to for several reasons.

For many, and especially for young girls and women, the world of entrepreneurship is male-dominated — the “crazy risk takers battling it out and going bankrupt” are men.

Also, through the years, I have often received comments that reveal how profoundly people don’t know who I am, which hurts.

But it’s my fault. How could they, when I haven’t widely shared it?

Many have told me I will now start something new, and all will be fine. A comment that could not hurt me more. So, in the light of Apple deleting the app, I have decided to share my story more intimately.

Fighting for the app and privately battling bankruptcy for years, avoiding it by law, but only by taking another loan to prevent it. The ordeal has lasted for years where I, in all practicality, was.

Fighting for my grandmother’s life during a pandemic (I won the fight against a deadly virus, but exhausting as nothing is like fighting for the life of the person you love the most), and ultimately having to endure her passing due to age, adjusting to life alone — again, and now Apple’s decision….

The last years have been years of pain with moments of relief instead of good years with moments of pain.

It´s changed me personally, and it´s part of the history of a now 10-year-old company. Something I am proud of. But I don´t want to sit across in a meeting or have a beer with someone and pretend the last years didn´t happen just because it´s not social media friendly or keep up with society´s expectations of appearance.

I can tell you straight away that nothing makes you feel like more of a leader than owning a company thru hard times for years, than a product developer and entrepreneur you started off as.

I also don´t want to have meetings from now on without the person knowing my “Why.” I hope by reading my story, it will be understandable why so. My background is different. But I wish it weren´t.

I am sharing a part of my childhood story for the first time. Untold stories from my hometown, why I went bankrupt. Wonderloop is not shutting down, but why I’m taking a step back from the entrepreneurship industry — but starting with Wonderloop.

No photos show “What do crazy women entrepreneurship look like?”. Sharing this is cathartic and deeply personal, but it’s an opportunity to get to know me beyond photos. And I hope my story helps others.

Wonderloop the app

Wonderloop brought the idea of video identity to life online. Combining technology and social credibility to break barriers for giving people opportunities regardless of where they live.

I founded the concept of video profiles. Started a company from scratch based on it. And of course, the Wonderloop app. In soft-launched mode, while building and fundraising, people could connect in the app, and I made a web version where the URL of your video ID could be shared in e-mail signatures and everywhere users wanted.

Connected to Google search so that you quickly get an impression of someone, save time on Zoom calls, and also increase opportunity for those who do not easily get Zoom meetings, but where a 10-second video profile can make all the difference.

Summertime is not the best time to release company news, but Apple does not play around. Apple’s new policies state that apps that haven’t been updated in the last three years will get deleted from the Appstore, regardless of whether the developer can afford to do so.

Two years of three have been in a pandemic, and now in the middle of the largest recession with significant technological industry layoffs, I believe this was not the right timing for Apple.

But the overpowering of large tech companies lacking to find better solutions for their creators is exactly part of what will fuel going from web2 to web3

We never got to finish the app, and it will always be, “What if we had raised a seed round?”. Even then, it’s hard, but I do believe we were worth the shot.

Apple’s required changes would probably mean re-building the app from scratch at this point.

But thru the years, I always maintained that Wonderloop was more than an app.

This doesn’t mean the end for Wonderloop as a company. However, it does mean some changes in my approach. My focus will shift in several ways, including finding a new home for Wonderloop.

I now have 17 years of experience in entrepreneurship and have been one myself for ten years. With 13 years as a tech analyst being part of it. I became one of the first women founders in technology for social impact and one of the few solo founders of a social app — regardless of gender. I have never really shared more deeply how I became an entrepreneur.

First, to make clear:

I’m a hard-core entrepreneur (unfortunately)

• I’m not a businesswoman (I should be / I deeply admire those who are)
• I’m not a career person (Cheering for those who are)
• I’m not an influencer. (I predicted influencer marketing back in 2014, but I´m not one myself. Unless trailblazing for women with goals is being an influencer)
• I don’t have projects. (A common unconscious gender bias about women)

I am a founder and owner of a technology company.

I have been going into the ring to fight on behalf of people who don’t have the same opportunities in the world to use technology to gain new prospects, even if it costs me everything — which it has.

If I share this, many think, “Are you applying that I don’t do enough?” Absolutely not. I did it as if you lost your family; what more do you have to lose? A great lifestyle and build a great life for yourself, maybe yes. But social impact has truly been more important to me thru the years.

Being a geeky tech analyst, product developer, and hard-core entrepreneur in combination is unusual and, for some, hard to grasp, and I get that. And let’s face it — even in 2022, the world of entrepreneurship is a male domain.

Many young women can’t see themselves taking risks in entrepreneurship because they don’t have enough role models to emulate. Female risk-taking entrepreneurs exist, though — it’s not exclusively a boy’s club.

As one person told me, “Welcome to the club of going bankrupt before turning 40 — that’s amazing!!”.

The culture abroad, compared to Norway, is massive.

Dev work and fundraising

Wonderloop was ahead of its time, predicting video as the next big thing back in 2011. That has been both a curse and a blessing.

Investors told me, “People filming themselves is only for Vloggers on YouTube. Ordinary people don’t want to be on video.”.

There was a lot of pushback to the idea that a woman could know what the future of technology might be.

Some say the Wonderloop app should be pitched again now as video is more relevant. And times have changed somewhat for female founders. But the investors’ question would now be, “Why didn’t you raise back then?”.

And I am happy never to be pitching again.

The end vision of the company was never grandly revealed and still has yet to be. It’s been a hard decision not to include it in this announcement.

Some might think if later shared that because of the metaverse, blockchain, NFT, and web3 paradigm shift, Wonderloop is pivoting. But our investor deck had the end-vision included years ago.

And with the company’s grand vision some years ago, I was told, “People will never do that”. Now, it’s evident to many working in the new paradigm shift — that we will. I like to focus ahead on those believing in the same future.

Wonderloop the app made it to a good beta/soft launch but never resulted in the app I truly wanted to create to have the possibility of scaling. Raising $200k in angel investments and grants at one time, but only incremental amounts in a bootstrapping style thru the years.

I always knew we needed an in-house dev team to get to a final product and grow the company, which isn’t possible at the level of angel funding.

(It was mentioned in an article in the press that we raised a seed round. Unless a company makes an announcement thru an official press release or a post, you can´t always rely on interpretations by the press online)

Developers and designers need salaries. Not to mention being able to hire a CTO (I spent a year looking for a technical co-founder back in the day to join me for equity and not pay — long story on its own. Founding the company, learning, and building the product took three years before the actual soft launch of it).

It’s two different things to have a product managing role that every founder should have than to be immersed with technical details from morning to night. In addition, the expense of legal, accounting, and the long list of other operational costs on top when building a company, and you get the picture.

Putting it into perspective: Houseparty, a social video app, raised $50M and was recently shut down, even after being acquired by Epic Games. Airtime, another social video platform, raised $33M and shut down. (Thank you, Sean Parker, for some of the most stressful months I have had in my entire life. Airtime was the best competition Wonderloop ever had for the social part of our vision).

I always knew you could not build an app without creating a company around the app too. Balancing doing both on a low budget — in a free app business model has been a challenge of a lifetime.

Having so much focus be on fundraising thru the years has been heartbreaking. There is nothing more you want to do as an entrepreneur than execute. Without capital, you can´t execute as much, and your time goes to fundraising way more than any entrepreneur wishes for. But especially for women entrepreneurs.

And, in many cases, if you’re a woman, you’re also labeled as “the woman raising money,” while male founders pitching are just “doing their work.” An unconscious bias and label that’s been extra hard on me when I could not have cared less about it “as a woman,” obviously as I went bankrupt.

Julia Lam, ex-facebooker and entrepreneur, wrote:

At the end of the day, I don’t think one will find any solo women founder that got as far on angel capital without raising pre-seed or a seed round as was done with Wonderloop.

If it hadn´t been for me not pitching again, it certainly would be:
“what can be done on a proper amount of funding?”.

Most find it understandably boring to see software or product development and emails on social media. The number of likes says it all, but I posted a rare look into the fun part of the platform's development on Facebook.

Having 99% of the work building a tech company not be sexy for social media and posting the other 1% gives people the wrong impression. One must consider stopping sharing anything, or the perception becomes unbalanced and unfair to what life as a technology founder is really like.

Why I left several communities

I also share that I went bankrupt as it is essential for me to be transparent and genuine rather than portray the new type of hype I increasingly see in social media, tech, and venture capital.

I have left many of the communities I used to be a part of partly because of it and seeing what success can attract along the way.

“How are you doing?” often means, “Are you having any success these days that makes it worth spending my time on you?.”

What´s next for you? Usually means, “Will you do something that´s worth me to follow you still?

I won’t be a part of it.
It´s not the type of people I want in life.

Regardless if it can fuel my success. Because my definition of what it means has never been the same as many others.

Interactions in real life or DM’s are often not based on the actual work or genuinely who you are. Ironically, such hidden meanings are the opposite of the company I founded, which helps people to be authentic thru video.

I should have seen it earlier. When I started, coming from a country where we may have a low entrepreneurial spirit, it’s filled with genuine humans to its credit.

I naively assumed that was also the case abroad, especially in social impact. That isn’t always the case, but a lifetime of gratitude to meet those who are.

The increased excitement you have to show on social media or in the industry is getting out of hand. But it works! And I admire the hustlers who do it. But my excitement comes from the possibility that technology can change people’s lives. (And beer, I am after all Norwegian)

But I can’t be a part of other people’s definition of success. If it’s my industry definition of it, my neighbor up the street, or media. And neither should you! Make your own.

We more easily put women into boxes, while men are allowed to be crazier, take risks and be more “free” — without such labels. Women’s constant judgment of their life choices can be overwhelming for those who step outside the box.

Over the years, after not raising seed funding, I have saved Wonderloop and the app from bankruptcy on several occasions myself — more than I should have. I also worked for free in between funding and after — more than I should have.

Elon Musk once said best: “Even if you know your baby is going to die, are you going to stop feeding it?”

Don´t give up they say

The consequences of not giving up are not always obvious. It can be easy for others to say, “Don’t give up.” But the reality of not calling it a day often means calculating: how long you can go without an income? And then it hits personal life that you can’t even pay your phone bill.

The problem is, I’m not a fan of being an entrepreneur. I am one.

I did not give up.

Many have wondered why I’ve sacrificed everything for Wonderloop for years. Here goes.

Childhood — that will not be shared again

I started Wonderloop in the aftermath of a fatal car crash that claimed the life of my mother. My grandfather, the only father figure I had, passed away some weeks later in the grief of losing his daughter in that crash.

I have never shared photos of them because it’s the most painful and private part of my life. And I have no plans to do so.

My mother was a single mom, I had just newly turned 14, and I didn’t have any siblings, and my grandmother and I were not close then.

The greatest human fear at the bottom of all other fears is to be abandoned. My greatest fear on earth had become a reality. Usually, you have a parent left. Usually, you have a sibling left. I didn´t. My world and life as I knew it was turned upside down — forever.

The safest job in the world, some might say, is a librarian. My mother loved literature and was passionate about building a new library that they were in the process of renewing.

They were a group from the school on their way to study how other libraries were constructed when the accident happened. Some survived — a total of five didn’t.

I was home alone at the time, and no one came home again. At the time, as still a child, I felt left abandoned to die.

Like I was suddenly living on the streets, reference my intro to my post. But practically, I wasn’t. But do you become street smart after living alone as a girl since age 14? Yes.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t offered new home/new parents. But your closest family can´t be replaced. If you lose a child, you know that getting a new one won´t replace the child you lost. Seeing someone in extreme pain, people from the outside often want to make things easier by suggesting solutions to make themselves feel better as they felt bad about what happened to someone else.

Absurdly, I receive legal guardians who had themselves experienced the biggest loss one can in life, who got it. They had to stand tall and strong from the outside opinions that were not realistic in the first place.

I received a large sum of insurance capital due to the accident being while my mother was at work and for what they called exceptional circumstances with me ending up alone.

In addition, I bought our house and took over my mother’s 40-year-old life in many ways. I took over her things, responsibilities, and independence. (To this day I’m probably the youngest house owner there ever was in Norway)

As I could now go anywhere, I naturally flew to London, clubbing at age 15.

I am mentioning this for the first time publicly because many people think it’s the company that’s led me to a crazy life, but it already was in all possible ways.

This was years before social media existed. All this above, the most significant part of my life, hasn´t been visible anywhere online.

Growing up, society told us to go to school — to get a job — to buy a house.

I had it already. At 14. I had full financial freedom. But it was also the only thing I had.

Everything that gave purpose with that was gone. Our values often come from our pain growing up. I indeed grew up then learning that money had nothing to do with happiness.

I dropped out of school and gamed as much as possible. It was a great escape, which at the time was Nintendo, and no parents were around to tell me how long I could play.

Home alone, Oprah was my only daily source of love and education. I watched Days Of Our Lives too, so trust me, I didn’t just focus on the wiser things, but anything that created some stability to a life turned upside down.

It’s illegal to drop out of school at 14 in Norway, and I agreed to an alternative not to get my wonderful legal guardians in trouble — to work at a kindergarten four days a week. Without pay, of course, as an alternative to school. Someone worked hard at making that happen, and I’m grateful to her because it was a small blessing to be surrounded by the love of babies from 9 months to 3 years old. Life’s most meaningful thing. Not having grown up with siblings, it was a new world.

I connected especially with one of the children. His mother was a single mom like mine, and she even looked similar to my mother. For a year, what got me up in the morning was a 2-year-old.

In general, my interactions with others at the time meant more to me naturally than the other way around.

After that one year, though, it was back to school. And I hated every second of it.

I was an outsider and tried to fit in as best as possible, but I didn’t. They were happy, had parents (in the 90s, even if you had parents that were divorced, it was a big deal in school), and their biggest concern was, “What do I wear to school tomorrow.”

At the same time, my everyday issues were “How do I get to keep the phone in our house when it’s illegal for people under 18 to have one” and spending my week solving it with the Telecom company. (Solving problems has become natural to me since I was a child).

When I came home from school, all I faced was loneliness, grief, and darkness, thinking over how life had changed in all ways, forever.

I was only happy watching Oprah — in particular the episodes where she would give to people. Seeing people’s lives change and their happiness in those seconds made me feel joy for some minutes.

Oprah had her book club, and I ordered her recommendations. At the time, I was so young that I couldn’t get through “The Power of Now” and gave up.

But being introduced to order books in English had me reading business self-help books at a time when a minority of people used Amazon in Norway or even had the books exist in our language or country.

At 15, I refurnished my extra bedroom into a home office.

Oprah said in one episode, “Every life has its purpose.” I knew from that moment that mine was to scale what she did on her show broadly so that we all could give and receive — thru technology. But I didn’t know if I would ever have the chance to do it.

Or how. I was picturing metaverse before the term existed. Living alone for so many years gave me time to think about it. Jumping ahead almost 15 years later, working independently as a tech analyst in social media, when mobile technology with apps came, I predicted video would be the most critical technology to come.

Oprah had a team deciding which people would be in the audience and on the show. And I knew that a key to give, in general, would be to know who the person you’re giving to is, and I formed the concept of video profiles.

Ultimately, Oprah stopped airing on TV; she was gone from my home, and after all those years, it felt like losing family — again. But it sparked me to leave my nest. In my late twenties, I left my own business in social media, knowing I would have no income. I went to the bank to take up a personal loan (which was not easy on no income) to finally execute the lifelong vision. From the same office I had since I was 15.

Sitting and learning wireframing, making mock-ups, UX/UI, and all the things you don´t want to hear about if not in tech.

And that was the start of Wonderloop.

Aftermatch today

Meeting people at conferences, in meetings, or with journalists, they would naturally all ask:

So why did you start your company?
Why did I become an entrepreneur?

If I partly shared, people have even told me, “What a great story!.”

It’s not a story. It’s the most painful thing a person can experience. To others, it´s a story. To me, it´s my life. Affecting me to this very day.

They say storytelling is vital in fundraising, but I can not and will not use a car accident as storytelling to raise — even if it means not raising.

Few understand what it’s like to be “the only one left,” thankfully. But that also means I sometimes get a lot of non-empathic responses from others. Especially in casual “meet and greet.” A reason for me not wishing to take part in traditional networking anymore.

It makes sense, though; it’s impossible to imagine if you haven’t experienced it. But I have cried enough over it during my lifetime.

I therefor ask for understanding to answer those questions less from now on. Regardless if it’s at a conference, interview or meeting.

A small piece of family history

Despite what happened in my life, and even though they are gone, I’m grateful for who they were. I rarely talk about the people who impacted me the most, but I want to share some pieces.

My mother at work, I’m told, didn’t care if the students made a mess at the library. She wanted it to feel like it was their home to learn and have the library used instead, even if that meant it didn’t keep up appearance with her in charge.

My grandfather, a historian by education, was an innovator in the Norwegian education system. He worked on decentralizing it with his model leading the Norwegian government's efforts on it, among many things.

At one point, he was the principal of a school himself. He told a local newspaper that he had too much power. He thought the students should have more influence and go out and protest. This view wasn’t too popular with the other education leaders.

He went on to work towards our region in Norway having a University — we didn’t have one then. Standing in the woods of what was a military area, he told the newspapers, “Here is where the future University will be in some years.” He received a lot of pushback and faced stiff political competition. Mayors in other close cities were fighting for the University to be built in their town instead. He paid a high personal price as he was an academic geek, not an arguing politician.

Today the University is in those woods, within walking distance from downtown.

My grandfather was an academic geek who was also a leader. My grandmother, on the other hand, came from a family business and had a strong entrepreneurial mindset.

In 2015 I called out Norway as a country in the international press for “Sucking at start-ups.”

It didn’t make me popular in the capital of Norway’s start-up community. (They didn’t differentiate between criticisms of the government that it was — and themselves…)

I will never forget when a relative called me and said, “Your grandfather would have been proud of you today.”

I didn´t know him from work, but more as my grandfather and a father figure. I started crying, realizing that even losing him early, as a young adult at the time. A part of me had become him.

By publicly announcing battling bankruptcy for years and the story of crazy entrepreneurship, I follow in the same footsteps of not always doing what makes me look good but believing it’s the right thing to do.

For the change in society on how we view women entrepreneurship — and our views from the outside on how we measure success.

Hometown

Living in the more conservative parts of Norway, the South has been hard through the years. (The name of the city Kristiansand comes from “Christianity”). The views here are different if you don’t live a traditional life. Appearance here means a lot. Ten years ago, I was once in a relationship with a person where appearance meant everything to him. Especially anything related to “family”, as I’m in the region where maintaining that appearance matters the most. And being a tight-knit community, we all have that “hometown ex.”

In my case, it’s the former news editor of the region’s most significant newspaper, with his family operating for more than 50 years in journalism.

Unfortunately, while you would hope for local support, the most negative angeled and inaccurate press Wonderloop has ever received is from where I live. In writing articles about my company or me, the newspaper did not disclose that my ex is the former editor and that his friend is the author — a standard practice for those that follow journalistic ethics.

People who’ve read articles about Wonderloop or me are unaware of the relationship even to this day and, therefore, cannot read those articles with that vital disclaimer attached.

Once, after becoming aware that I was on them for the unnecessary and apparent altering of sentences throughout the entire article, making it negative. They altered the digital article afterward to hide it, but only after everyone had seen it as the top story. There was no clear update notice later.

When the journalist had a follow-up question on Wonderloop, I said, “I decline to answer because you are a close colleague to my ex, and we all know the special circumstances around that story.” It then became “Hanna Aase does not want to comment on why Wonderloop…” without explaining why I did not want to comment. (Having it wrongfully look like I have something to hide).

It’s been painful, especially since this is where my family is from and where I still live today. When someone has worked under Schibsted on a certain level, our national-owned media network and Norway is a small country, one does get worried every time the phone rings from the media. Even if it’s unethical to have friends write about your ex-girlfriend, as a journalist, you can just say to a college at the desk, “Hey, I’m friends with the former news editor who is her ex, so it isn’t appropriate for me to do a story on her, could you write it? And here’s what you should know…”.

It’s been an absurd and painful situation I have been dealing with thru the years, all the way back to 2012.

Media in Norway is truly one of the more trustworthy of it’s kind. Still, humans writing are not unaffected by gossip stories and great convincing storytelling that other journalists can have with each other.

Growing and moving on

The cozy part about living in a conservative place is that people often stay the same. You meet the person you knew years ago. You meet them, and they are still who they used to be. Something is comforting about that.

I am not the same. Back then, my life was dark regardless of what I could afford or the career I had starting at only 21. Running my own business in social tech, I was doing great. But I wasn’t happy. It’s never been my goal either to be. I wouldn’t have worked away my 20s and 30s if it was.

But I am in a much better headspace now. So to the people who knew me before, I am not the same, but I hope that is a good thing. I wish everyone the absolute best. If it’s an ex, (I will always have love for the people I have loved, because if love was real — then it will always stay), if it’s someone that said something hurtful to me because I have been an entrepreneur, it’s okay. I know from my past life that often, when we say hurtful things to others, it means we are hurting ourselves. Or other people´s ambitions make us feel less, and we have to compensate by making them feel less too. It´s part of the Norwegian “janteloven” of culture.

Being back home

With me back in my hometown, it is ironic that creating technology to give people opportunities, regardless of where they live, made me less financially capable of doing that myself.

Some have mentioned, “But you know so many people.” I do. But their success and what they have are not for me to lean on.

We also see each other for a quick meeting, dinner, and then back to work. Running and owning a company at the speed of the technology industry, taking care of my grandmother as much as possible, and not living in a big city where meetings and socializing can happen beyond seeing someone short on a one-week trip isn’t the same.

Some say I should do crowdfunding for the app in the current situation and that I should make a Vipps/Venmo for the company. And I did. But I landed on that it’s not authentically “me.” Having been independent since 14, it´s in my nature to both handle things alone — and take responsibility alone. I need to work on emotionally being able to receive on a personal level because we all should! But for the company:

A certain degree of recklessness is necessary to advance, create or innovate anything. It´s not always something that others should participate in.

People want to see the future clearly of a product, but that’s just it. One can’t. Snapchat was turned down by basically everyone sharing their first version of the app because investors could not wrap their heads around or see what it would become.

If you want clear results, you have to paint your wall.

If you’d like to support, you can share the message that crazy risk-taking women entrepreneurs exist.

To take the risks I have taken without parents, without a spouse to share expenses with but have it all be on me. To not have the security from the government as it’s based on your last year's income. Not having emotional support from a spouse or children when you walk in the door after rough times. Or the support from colleges and a larger company. Paying the company´s bills privately. All the years behind the computer. The risk and pain have been far more significant than one can see from a photo on social media.

It’s not a win for women’s entrepreneurship that someone can do “This much” back then and still not raise a seed round. But it is a win that we have crazy risk-taking female entrepreneurs in the first place.

We need our coming generation of parents to tell girls, “Don’t be like Hanna, who became an entrepreneur and went bankrupt.” Because one day, there will be a girl that doesn’t listen to her parents and still do it.

With an easier path than the women before her.

The next generation of women entrepreneurs does not need advice, comfort, or words. They need action.

They don’t need tips on what book to read or what they should do. If they are true entrepreneurs, they have already read that book. They need capital, warm introductions, and support.

They don’t need “someone to talk to.” But ACTION.

These days

Last Summer was spent in the boxes of my grandmother’s things, taking care of practicalities after her passing. Because of her, I was able to go on a trip finally. I could choose to go on a vacation, but how relaxing is it to lie on the beach thinking about how you have no income? Or I could get updated on what’s been happening worldwide and get updated. I choose a work trip in my industry instead.

It was before I knew that this Summer, too, would be weeks of work sitting inside in technical challenges preparing for Apple’s countdown deadline. I spent the last weeks deep down in Google App Engine, Microsoft 365 issues, Gsuite/Workspace, Mailchimp, invoices, papers to the government, and the list goes on — while the sun has been shining outside. For what is probably the 10th year in a row not having a Summer vacation at all. (And on the outside of things in social media. You go on one yacht, and people forget your years of work)

I will always be a geek, and I love solving problems. But the last years, it’s been issue after issue after issue, on no pay — and the things you’re trying to solve are uphill hard. You’re not getting the value output for the amount of energy you put in or resources on solving the bigger problems that should be focused on.

I have felt the responsibility heavily even after we did not raise and even after I went bankrupt for the product. As an owner, if you take it seriously as I do, there is nothing that will make you feel not profoundly responsible. (Even working for free this Summer doing this announcement, preparing for Apple´s action’s — that I really didn’t “have too” do, but wanted to let the people who downloaded the app know and the public).

Not having responsibility for the app after this week will be a weird freedom. Freedom I didn’t ask for, but it could be good for the company long-term.

Another freedom I didn’t want was to be without the responsibility of taking care of my grandma, especially from 90 to 95 years of age. (There are no words to explain life without her).

It is absurd with so much loss in a short time frame and other things not included in this post, as we never post our entire private lives online.

I could have easily not shared anything, but I can´t have years of my life that’s changed me go under the covers pretending nothing happened.

And if we want more real people in life — we have to be real ourselves.

I have met too many people during my years who give you the biggest smile when you’re doing well but don’t even say hi to you when you’re not.

I’m happy to take part in social media in a different way ahead. To protect my work and personal life (not two different things for me, it´s who I am), with a smaller circle around me ahead.

I know many out there think it´s freedom to be an entrepreneur.

Having your own business is.
Being a freelancer is.

Being an entrepreneur and building a technology company isn´t.

Having employees being responsible for the salaries that they provide their families with. Investments in the company, with the responsibility to the other owners. Building software running the team and an international focus if you like to add ambition and complexity on top of it all. It´s hard-core entrepreneurship and the opposite of freedom.

You make 1000 decisions, some really good, some bad, and then you cross your fingers that none of them are really bad.

One of my favorite weeks during the years was a trip where someone else was the boss. I was not the main responsible for solving problems that occurred during the day, I did not decide one single thing, and being told what to do was an absolute pleasure.

Having a boss is underrated.

New personal life ahead

There are four things I don’t have at the moment:

Family, my own family, income, and vacation.
(Basics, Love, basics, and healing)

The new loneliness of turning 40 without kids can’t be explained. It´s something new I have to learn to live with. Planning and thinking, “ What will be turning 85 be like without anyone visiting me?”

Entrepreneurship’s sacrifice and consequences aren’t visible in social media photos or in the press.

Things that didn’t hurt before — do now. But then some things that used to hurt before don’t anymore. At least it’s good to see that some things can change!

To focus on what I do have:

• More knowledge than I like to have
• Weight lifted off my shoulders
• More opportunities to laster focus away from the noise
• Gratitude over living in a country where many do an incredible job of keeping our society safe and working
• A deeper reflection on people’s pain and how we might change it
• To still be able to drink like a 25-year-old if I like too
• Extreme gratitude for the people and family I come from
• For having (not ready to write had) a grandma who loved people from all cultures and was a rock in staying calm no matter what
• That I still have my bonus grandmother on my legal guardian´s side in my life. (She´s 97!)
• Memories of a lifetime to think back on when at a nursing home for elders (pretending entrepreneurs get old, that is)
• Knowing incredible people in the world that know my heart and more time to see them (Even as an owner of a company, nothing will be like being CTO at the same time as well)
• Being better at predicting the future of tech than men (I had to, not sorry)
• And unfortunately, knowing I’m a good entrepreneur as only Jesus can do magic on limited resources

What will happen now

July 21st 2022 represents a new life for me as a founder. I will, after that date, no longer be CTO or responsible for the app as it gets deleted by Apple from the Appstore.

I will be able to close my computer more ahead. Take care of my home from 1964, that’s been down-prioritized for years. (When able to, obviously)

And finally, not being “too early”, dive into massive changes that have happened and will happen ahead in technology.

I hope to be of value to other start-ups one day and share knowledge. Or people who like a tech career. But for now, it’s down the rabbit hole.

This Summer as Apple deleted the app, people said, “This app is so cool, it should not get deleted!”. It hurts. It is brutal after all these years. Even though the vision of the company distributing and decentralizing opportunities to people stands.

I won’t add any “Wonderloop is just getting started” hype.

Wonderloop is not just getting started. It has an owner with 17 years of experience and is a company with years on the battlefield — some of those at the highest level of consumer technology and social impact globally. We are not just getting started. And thank God for that.

My biggest worry isn’t failure.
It’s the opposite and what it takes.

Thank you!

I thank you all to those who have shown support to Wonderloop and me so far. To everyone, I have shared a moment with, thank you!

I feel profound gratitude for being able to learn and for the people I have meet in tech since the beginning. For those still around since the early days, we are getting kind of old, right?

We will always have “remember back in web2?”.

To Wonderloop’s early angel investors, you truly were investing in female tech founders at a time when it was close to unheard of. You might be in traditional businesses such as shipping, oil, and real estate, but you were unconventional both for women in tech, social impact tech, and video tech before any. Thank you is not enough. And thank you for telling me to save myself instead of the company.

I didn’t listen.

Thank you to the users who have inspired us with your hopes and dreams on your video profile! (Thank you to those with Android for wanting to try it!)

For those living in places where they can’t just walk out the door and get a meeting, where people are not saying yes to your Zoom calls because they don’t know you, I feel you, and I see you. Hang tight.

Our governments have failed to distribute opportunities to everyone. Web2 did the same. But web3, I have hopes will not. And the metaverse will be the most significant shift in humanity we have ever seen.

Rounding up

I will probably lose some of my best contacts sharing what I did today. Many view bankruptcy as a failure. And I get it. But a totally new concept that runs on no revenue stream in the fastest past industry in the world, is not a traditional business.

One of the very essences of being a technology entrepreneur is also to consider the work that has the potential to affect more than one person more important. You put away your own life as it is only — one life.

I hope to have shown thru the years that true social impact entrepreneurs do exist. Nothing says it more than going broke yourself.

If there’s anything that’s made me more into a capitalist recently, it’s been selling grandma’s home even though I didn’t want to sell it. Certain experiences in the last years could make my mindset go from social impact to more capitalism personally. But not anything else.

When I was 15 and could sit in 1st class flying if I wanted to, I didn’t feel I deserved it. A couple of years clubbing and not working, the same.

Money from tragedy and death gives an absurd feeling of being unworthy.

Years later, when I started my own business having nothing by then, it didn’t matter how well I was doing. If being a high-paid tech analyst or an entrepreneur named Top 50 women in the Nordics, I was a social impact person from my family background, growing up with Oprah, a geek and ready to sacrifice life to make other people’s lives better.

I have paid the price for it already. One of the biggest days of my life was having grandma turn 95. I wasn’t able to buy her a real birthday present. I haven’t been able to afford to freeze my eggs, maybe to have a family of my own one day. There have been many heartbreaking experiences and consequences that no one sees from the outside. And they are also mine to carry.

But know that I have sacrificed everything in building Wonderloop, which would not make sense if I did it for myself. And it most certainly would not make sense if it was just an app. It is a lifelong vision of scaling Oprah´s giving. By connecting people using technology in a new way and working on bridging the wealth and opportunity gap in the world.

The difference now from then, being in my hometown the last years, seeing the extreme risk I took, life on the edge, the responsibility of owning a company, working weekends, and years without one single day off. I might be broke, but I finally feel worthy of sitting in 1st class. And that feeling is worth more — than being able actually to sit there.

It´s a new level of mindset. One that we should all strive for. To feel worthy. But it´s still work in progress.

It is much easier to achieve success for oneself. Then the work on doing it for everyone on the world.

Being an entrepreneur is hard.
Being a solo founder is even harder.
Being a woman founder is even harder again.
To live in a small town without being connected to the industry. It makes it harder on top of it.

Looking back and with the current situation, I am heartbroken and proud at the same time.

Today I know it´s my knowledge, 17 years in the industry, growth, my focus on social impact, and leadership that make me belong in the room. And the rare experience of, in many ways, being an entrepreneur since age 14.

Mindset, your work, your heart and who you are is what matters.
Not numbers or labels of “success.”.

I won’t encourage you to be an entrepreneur (if you have a family to come home to and care for, you are winning more than anyone!), but share what might inhibit you from living your life as your true self. Only then can we keep the ones who belong on our journey — even closer.

Even without my bigger why sharing what I have today has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.

As you maybe can tell, sharing this is goodbye to what “has been.”

I have often walked out first in front regarding entrepreneurship and gender equality, and often taken the heat of the collision that comes with walking first. I have to live with being extra talked about because of it. But I won’t live by other people’s expectations anymore.

Women entrepreneurs or women in businesses are often expected to give more of themselves, share more on social media, have more time than male owners of companies, reply to messages, and be more available. We are expected to smile more, and be more “excited,” and the list is long.

If we are to do as good a job as male leaders, we must stop with the different subconscious expeditions of women.

We all have the right to work and do what we like without demands (unless in politics). To focus on what we like and our company’s vision, and that is, of course, regardless of gender. And hopefully, grow and be good humans to those we cross paths with in our lives.

I have worked away my 20s and my 30s in one shape or another. Having one year now left of my 30s before turning 40. Last birthday, I didn’t get one single birthday message that was not from a relative, and it was painful.

My next birthday is only days away, and it´s always one of the year's hardest days for me. It´s a result of being a geek all my life and an entrepreneur for as long as I can remember, and what happened.

This fall is the 25th anniversary of the car crash that changed everything. It´s 25 years of pain in many ways. Next year I will turn the exact age as my mother when the crash happened. Having somehow felt I was 40 at 14, way before I was or should have been, it´s absurd to turn that age myself — now.

No wonder I pissed off some of the angel investors and businessmen in my early twenties when they naturally treated me like a young girl while I had already lived over a decade with years of grown-up life already. I didn´t comply with how they communicated with me. And looking back, it was one painful combination of always being “not my actual age” throughout my whole life.

Needless to say, I feel 60 by now, especially after the last brutal years.

But today, I have learned to deal better with the collision that can happen in meeting others, knowing that the outside does not always represent what lives within any of us.

It makes me extra grateful when I get to spend time with people who do know me, and if I meet a new person, I work on making extra effort to keep an open mind and not jump to assumptions. But it is easier for me not to meet new people because of it and focus on the people I already know instead.

The anniversary this fall and turning a certain age, not having life look practically much different than the life I lived when I was alone at 14, having weddings, anniversaries, and baby birthdays around me on those my age, isn´t easy. Last Christmas eve without grandma and with no packages to open (thankfully with a few people and gift cards) became a painful symbol of not opening any traditional Christmas package on how different life has become, and now to have a different type of Christmas eve as an adult still with no close family.

But I´m ready to accept all good things ahead in life.

25 years of pain — is enough.

On the journey of entrepreneurship:

There is no plan B
There never was
There is no next
Except for time off

And not working for free anymore
And move Wonderloop forward on its own terms

I went from a small town to out in the world on risk and founded a technology company alone. From crying on the floor of my apartment in San Francisco behind my computer with eviction papers hanging on the door — racing to ship a new build or a new platform, and being in Techcrunch the very same week. To not abandon ship, take responsibility, and pay the price myself.

I knew when I was a child after the car accident. That if I ever got the chance. I would give it my absolute everything to scale Oprah. As a geek. As a product developer. As an entrepreneur. As an expert in my field. As a person.

My time, energy, giving up income, going in minus, the tears, late nights. I really left it all in the ring.

If you are a true fighter, you go in even if you know the odds are against you.

I entered without anyone outside the arena patching up my wounds. Fighting between rounds privately and back in the ring again. For years.

Apple now pulled me out of the ring, but as Joe Rogan would say:

“My goodness, what a fight.”