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Yep, alone. A mac, coffee, an old sexy table and a tired heart — Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

Last September in 2019, I started my journey as a freelance designer working for clients on a project basis.

During my journey, I have read & heard so many facts about freelancing that my head could’ve exploded from the amount of information I have digested. I’m glad I could digest it at least.

So, after almost a year into my work and experience, I have decided to tell you, my dear reader, the truth about freelancing: good and bad; exciting and boring.

Whereas for beginners, this is for you ❤

So that you don’t get fooled by guys/gals who want to seem “cool” that they are FREELANSAAAHS. …

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Don’t worry, I don’t own these fancy tools — just one old-boy-Mac; Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash

Let me tell you a short story.

I graduated last year: 2019 July from a BSc Business course in the UK. I had absolutely 0 clue what to do — let alone what industry to be in.

My first job after graduation

At a certain point all I wanted to do is find a job so I can pay my bills and just get started. There was no point in dwelling on “What is my calling?” (it’s a myth anyway).

Eventually I found a job in London as an Account Manager at a Media Agency. …

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Personal Illustration: “Different eyes, different perceptions” — See more:

One thing we know for sure… Feminism has been quite “the thing” in the past few years. It became more of a fashion rather than a well-arguemented & researched political movement we stand for.

Ok. Before you start judging me for being “one of those women who push other women down as they just want to stand out” (I’ve read those articles too, believe me and I can definitely sense a bit of extremism there) — getting your mindset in an extreme will lead to any person you talk to, resent you. …

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Some days we feel that we don’t know what we want: we end up calling ourselves “bipolar”, “confused”; we end up alone in our room, closing ourselves up in our own head, thinking why we cannot take a decision quicker and why we cannot just simply “know what we want”.

“Why am I not good enough at taking decisions?”

“Confidence means knowing what you want” — this couldn’t be more wrong, because then all of us would be insecure.

The truth is: the overly romanticized & idealistic society creates the standard that a successful human being needs to know: who they love, what career to follow, what their style is, what music they like & who their partner will be in the next 30 years already at the age of 14. We’re expected to be a clear superman! It is after all quite a big pressure to define one’s identity fully without leaving space to figure out who we are (especially in our 20s/30s). …

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Photo by Viktor Forgacs on Unsplash

I am a giver — and as a giver, one offers 70% of their time, emotions and energy to the people they love. Giving is great, if it is in a balance. I am definitely not trying to say that you need to follow the rule of: “I give you one apple, you give me a banana”, but I mean more: “make sure that the love you give is reciprocated”.

Not in numerical terms, but in emotional meaning.

For me, emotional meaning is the process of sharing care & love in the way the receiver would wish to be loved.

A point which might be hard to understand at first, but let me explain in more detail. I am sure most of us have heard about The 5 languages of love by Dr. …

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Going through a lot, makes you mature and slowly you start loving yourself.

I have been quite an anxious person in the past 3 years, freaking out over the smallest actions of my partner, parents & friends and over-exaggerating the meaning behind each letter they have used in any word.

According to the attachment theory, I have been the „anxious” type in my relationships, an attachment style I have read in a book written by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, called „Attached” – it talks about the 3 main attachment styles in relationships: the anxious one, the avoidant and the securely attached partner.

I had a relationship where I felt like I was running in circles with a guy I could just simply not understand. He used to get even more distant as I wanted to get closer to him. I am naturally a very affectionate person & in all my previous relationships could be describes as „quite clingy and overly attached”. I used to assimilate love with grand gestures of phisical and financial „Giving”. Having had experience only with super attached partners, I saw extreme attachment as the only way of showing love and the only way of expressing true romantic affection. Until one day when I met someone whose love language was so much the „avoidant”, that an extreme confusion started to settle in by seeing the contrast between what Inhave been used to and what was the reality…

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So much melancholy & love at the same time in this picture — Thank you Xavier Mouton Photographie on Unsplash

I genuinely think all of us at a certain moment in time, had either a minor or major conflict with someone from our family.

Despite all the idealistic descriptions on what a true family relationship should look like in media: on soap packaging or social media content for home decorations — the truth is, we are human and it is inevitable to come into a conflict at least once with someone we love.

We get into a conflict with someone, because we love them. The true relationship test in this case, is the ability to manage differences with patience & empathy by distinguishing between understanding & agreeing. …

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“What does Johann think right now?” — Photo by Heidi Sandstrom. on Unsplash

By long-distance I don’t necessarily mean only romantic relationships. I also mean families who are scattered all around the world, best friends who make it work despite the miles between them and pets waiting for their owners to arrive back home.

Whenever someone tells us: “I am in a long-distance relationship with my cat/ dog/ mom/ boyfriend etc.” our instant responses usually vary between the following responses:

I am so sorry for you guys! It must be so hard, I am sure you will live past it.

It usually doesn’t work, I am telling ya. I had one and it ended after 2 months. …

The question we keep asking ourselves & what it actually means.

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I drew this, thinking about myself.

Who am I?

What an intriguing question.

It leaves so much space for daydreaming about all our potential selves that we could become in the future, experiencing a different life story in each scenario:

1) I could have been born in Fiji: have beautiful skin, see the ocean everyday, feel the warmth on my skin and know surfing just like I know how to breathe. I could live the excitement of connecting with someone on the beach and maybe finding an amazing lover.

2) I could have been born in the Swiss Alps: be so good at skiing and free-styling that no one could ever compete with me. I could become the attractive instructor to whom all the boys & girls are attracted to. I could have an incredible resistance to beer and everyone would know me in the Apres ski. …

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The Cloud technique — Photo by Lÿv Jaan on Unsplash

In the past 2 years my thoughts have always overrun me. They were dominating my moods & telling me who I am & what I am supposed to be.

But sometimes these thoughts don’t have to define you.

Thoughts can be great as that is where the greatest ideas are born & the best decisions are made, you can also realize fantastic things about yourself which make you who you are.

There is also a sentence Renee Descartes once said:

Cogito ergo sum

which means

I think therefore I am.

This saying tells us how we humans differentiate ourselves from any other human being on Earth. …



Reflections, psychology, art, UX, UI Design & everything in between. 🌿

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