Why I do not care as much as I used to — A Memoir


I’m a pretty self conscious person. I think most people are. I care what people think of me. And you probably do too. But I don’t care as much as I used to. Here’s how I came to this revolutionary point in my life. Turning off my notifications. That’s it. That’s what I did. I used to have my Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Bumble, etc., notifications on at all times. 24/7. I’m not going to toot my own horn but that’s A LOT of notifications.

Let’s break this down. Facebook. The literal worst (with notifications). I would get one for someone’s birthday that was in my sixth grade homeroom class. Want to know the last time I talked to them? Sixth grade homeroom. But, thank you, Facebook, now I can write “happy birthday!” on his wall and feel like my good deed for the day is done. Gross. Instagram. It wasn’t so bad when everyone only used to average 1–11 likes, but the second I started hitting 90, I was like…

Um, Hannah…you might be becoming instafamous.

And just like that, poof. Notifications off.

I think you get the point.

But wait, there’s more.

What did turning my notifications off do for my self esteem? A lot.

I would be obsessed with seeing the names of people liking my pictures, posts, tweets, following me, so on and so forth. It was like an adrenaline rush I needed and hoped for every time I put something online. Say it with me: gross! If a post didn’t get enough likes in a certain amount of time…#deleted. Now I don’t even remember posting something until hours later when I return to the platform and have notifications. That makes it more fun! It’s like coming home to buffalo chicken dip in the crock pot. You put it on at 8am and by the time you come home late afternoon it is sitting there, all hot and ready.

There is something so liberating about posting something online and clicking off your phone. No notifications buzzing in. I worried less about how many likes or retweets I received. I would check the platforms less often. Do you know how much time you spend on those things?! Do yourself a favor and look at your screen time on your phone and be appalled. When I would get a notification, it would turn into a scrolling spree. I think my thumb has scrolled more miles than I have ran. I mean that’s not a lot of miles but still. Each thumb respectively has done at least an Iron Man…twice.

What else can you do with your time? I’m so glad you asked!

  • Read
  • Listen to a podcast
  • Start a blog
  • Deep clean your room

Less screen time for me means more me time. And there’s no one who loves me time more than me.