Dance, We’re All Watching

I heard you’ve been feeling down lately. You’re uncomfortable with something, and you feel all alone. Stuff it down. Nobody wants to see that.

We can all relate, but when you say you feel badly and I empathize with that, I have to look at myself and for that I don’t like you. Keep it all buried deep in your soul where hot people can’t see it.

See how we’re all wearing pretty costumes made from fake smiles? Get one for yourself, and put it on when you’re leaving the therapy session you tell NO ONE about. You pay your therapist hundreds of dollars a session because THAT’s how badly no one wants to hear it.

So help me god if you make me aware of my own imperfections and force me to sit down with you and “talk” so our friendship can strengthen and grow and we can heal as human beings-well I don’t know. I might start feeling better, hence drink less, and I like partying so back off. I love to party. I don’t need it to escape. Party fun. I LIKE IT. I know that because I smile when I do it and everyone agrees I’m smiling so it’s good.

We were all having a great time talking about each others’ hair and counting our fingers and toes over and over then YOU came here telling us sometimes you feel lonely and you don’t know why. Please stop.

When you told me your dog had just died I was TRYING to remember why British people have tea time. You came in and reminded me I cannot be in an eternal state of joy. And THAT made me aware that my dad died when I was 14 but I cannot recover cause I’m too scared of being vulnerable. And THAT made me forget to distract myself from pain with trivial things.

After that I had to sit and watch sitcom after sitcom. I devoured youtube clips of people falling. Then I watched both at the same time so the people falling had a laugh track which made me think “hey, I really invented something cool here” then I realized that’s just America’s Home Videos and I had invented nothing at all and that I’m not special and that made me feel FINE.

Oh, you don’t feel an amount of happy that is socially appropriate? No one does. Go find Sarah and let her show you pictures of her kids until you go numb.

Look, you know “how are you” just means hi and “No, really, how are you” just means I want to fuck you and that’s because if anyone knew how anyone felt there’d be a real human connection and that ain’t hip hop.

When you feel upset eat if you’re alone, drink if you’re in public just PLEASE don’t tell me you have a strong fear that your dreams won’t come true. I’m trying to compare different shades of grey.

Don’t try to tell me depression is common, or that most people will contract an STD in their life and that we could create a loving community if we just opened up- I want to remain alone and terrified and misjudge the sad HPV pigs I see.

By the way, did hear about the wall? It’s so flat!

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