you were my happiness. every ounce of joy i felt was purely because of you. you controlled me. i stayed awake night after night after night talking to you because i couldn’t bear the thought of not hearing your voice for just the few hours until morning. i know we’ve been through this many times already, but i’m sorry. i am so so sorry. and i know there isn’t even anything to be sorry for but you don’t seem to understand that i am saying and doing everything i can to get you back because you were the only one i didn’t leave. i leave everyone. i get bored or i get scared or i get fucked over time after time and i leave. but i didn’t leave you. i knew that i needed you and i never got bored and i didn’t get scared because you made me feel more safe than i had ever felt before. and then you left me. you told me it wasnt working and i was so confused because i didn’t know what was going wrong. i was crushed. you hurt me on purpose and it drove me crazy. after that i expected to rarely talk to you but the feelings never died. i still thought you were perfect and watching you go through relationship after relationship made me realize how much i wanted to be with you. i know you and i want to try again because apparently i enjoy being hurt. just like our song says

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