i. thoroughness & comprehension (+)

I have a lot of problems with this piece. You strongly argued your way through it, but I think a lot of what you base the critique off of is flawed, and unfortunately undermines your other arguments.

The headline is why you don’t like Beyonce, and the article is the reasons why, which is a great writing tool. But, I will remind you that Beyonce only appeared in this video, she did not write the track, she did not direct it, and for her…this was a job. $$$ dolla dolla bill, y’all.

Second, why are you not critiquing the white men who made this video and performed this song? It’s unfair (and comes across as misogynoir) to not even mention the other people involved in this production (you mention a well-known Bollywood actress, but what about the set designer, the director, the producers, etc.) who actually made creative decisions, unlike Beyonce.

Third, where are these other critiques coming from? Who else has written about this. It may be in the pop culture news, but if you don’t link to specific examples, it’s hard to have an authoritative view, and fall into the false rhetoric that is easily shared on the internet.

Fourth, it’s never clear if you think what Beyonce is doing is cultural appropriation. But, you do critique her outfit…for showing too much cleavage?? I’m sorry, but it’s 2016, there’s absolutely no reason to judge a woman by what she is wearing UNLESS it’s a form of cultural appropriation, which it isn’t, 1. because you show Rhianna wearing another form of traditional dress that you deem “acceptable” because she’s covered up, and 2. because the dress was designed by Abu Jani Sandeep Khosla, a haute couture Indian designer. If it had been designed in the US by another designer, then yes, it would be cultural appropriation.

I found a lot of idealogical problems when first reading this, and have been mulling them over all weekend. That said, I am extremely interested to see what you have to say about Beyonce’s video for “Formation,” as well as her Super Bowl Performance, given your strong dislike for her.

This isn’t to say that what you argue is wrong, I just think the reasons behind the critique aren’t as easy or one-dimensional as you interpret them. That said, you argue strongly and that’s the point of blogging. I once wrote the EXACT opposite of what I was supposed to in a philosophy class, but because it was argued so well, the teacher didn’t care.

ii. creativity (+)

I love the subtle dig by comparing the outfit to another photo. That is GOLD, that is COMEDY. You are also the only one to use an embedded video when talking about a video, which makes my life–as a reader–much easier. I know what you’re talking about and why; they aren’t just abstract ideas, you have examples to back up your arguments.

iii. use of platform (+)

Medium is a popular site, filled with other critiques of this video, I’m sure, so it would be beneficial to see what other Medium users are saying about this video and to engage in dialogue. The media you use is perfect and appropriate, and adds to your argument.