RE: The Most Embarrassing Love Story
thoroughness & comphrension (plus) • creativity (plus) • use of platform (minus)
wow! this is like one of those horror stories that say “based on a true story!” as soon as you started talking, i was hooked! the way everything played out, and the slight opinions the author and characters gave throughout.
this article could benefit from a quick once-over for grammar, and spelling, and really could use a better photo than one from a quick-referenced move in the bottom of the story. also, i really wish you would take out “i” and “me” and just tell Cloudy and Mei’s story. it would give you more authority, and allow the audience to come to their own conclusions. also, did you talk to mei about this? i wonder what she has to say. the headline is also a little too prude-ish to me. i want to read something unbiased (let the characters tell their stories) rather than the author telling me what to feel about this situation.
a more omniscient tone would make this a much more fulfilling read, as right now it feels like a salacious blog post, rather than a well-written semi-real article, but a solid start to something.