Moving On and Letting Go
Moving past something that once meant a lot to someone can feel impossibly hard. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friendship, the death of someone, a break up, or something altogether different. If it once meant a lot deep down to you, you can’t just let it go in a day.
There’s a reason there are multiple steps to grief and loss. As humans, our brains need to do different things to process the change. Quite similar to the way we have to process change when something new is added, we have to process how to lose something.
Not everything is easy to let go of. Some things take longer than others. And not everything can be taken on alone. Talking through hard times can help to process it. And I’ve also found writing to help.
Growing up, I had journals and diaries for years. Whether it was a fight with a friend, a crush of mine liking someone else, or losing at something, I would write about it. While my journals couldn’t talk back, I felt like I was having a conversation with someone. I could scream and shout about how I felt through my writing. And in time, I let things go.
But needing feedback can be really important. So talking to people who actually have words and thoughts to toss back can be vital to letting things go. And having the support of someone listening can be enough to help move on.
It will still take time. And there’s no need to rush moving on and letting go. If a person rushes that, it can lead to more hurt and issues down the road. Letting life happen is important. There’s so much out of our own control.
When you lose something, it’s hard to work through that pain. Just the same as a real cut, it takes time to heal an emotional one. But one day, you’ll suddenly have some sort of sign that you’re doing better. It might be something you do, think, or say. It could be something altogether different. All that matters is that you’ll know. And you won’t know what to look for. You’ll just know when you’ve finally properly moved on.
It doesn’t mean you suddenly forget what happened, or that how you felt wasn’t real. It was. But at a certain point, you won’t be hanging on to the pain quite so much.
The important thing about moving on, in my opinion, is to give yourself the proper time and resources to heal. Every situation is different and should be treated as such. But in time it will get easier. And before you know it, the pain will be your past, not your present.