Balance… is it an act or does it work?

If you’re like me, your entire life changed after the “panini” that started in early 2020. Since March of 2020, I have gained 40 lbs, have experienced some low mental health days, and my motivation to do anything has gone out the window like a chocolate frog (IYKYK). Over the first few months I knew that I was gaining weight but I just thought it was because I was working from home and not getting as many steps in. Well, fast forward to March 2021 when I stepped on a scale for the first time in a year at my yearly doctors visit and my jaw almost hit the floor. In that moment I was ashamed and shocked at how much that number had gone up in a year.

Prior to the panorama, I was working and living in immensely and mind-fucking-ly (its a word, trust me) toxic environments. I was overworked and on my feet constantly and then I was shamed for eating when I got home. This combo had me at my lowest weight since high school. I thought, at the time, this was a good thing. I was skinny so that had to mean I was healthy, right?No. Hell no. It wasn’t until I left my living hell of a job and living situation when I realized how unhealthy I was, mentally and physically.

I find comfort in food, like many others. I also find joy in eating my favorite meals and drinking my favorite cocktails. With this combo plus working at home plus limited exercise I really shouldn’t have been surprised the scale would show a larger number. But I was surprised and repulsed. This is where I began changing my perspective on my body and weight. I came to the realization that I was healthier and a fuck load happier so why should the extra pounds be considered bad? My fiancé was supportive as ever and didn’t bat an eye at my extra chub so why should I?

I realized that I had lived on both sides to the spectrum; I had been supremely under eating and over working myself into exhaustion and thinness. I had also been over eating to cope with pandemy depression and not getting off the couch for days. These behaviors are polar opposite and I found that balance was my key to being content and even happy with myself again.

Though I’d love to fit into my old jeans, I also love pasta and pizza and cupcakes. I don’t consider these “bad” foods. Food doesn’t have morality or intrinsic value, it is fuel. Sure there are foods that offer more quality fuel but the fun fuel is important and necessary too. So eat the pizza and ice cream but add in a 30 minute walk or a short yoga sesh (Sarah Beth Yoga on Youtube is my go-to). Make living your balanced lifestyle fun, not rigorous and torturous. You’ll thank yourself.




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Hannah Sumner

Hannah Sumner

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Balance…or my lack thereof