The following is the first part of the journey that siblings, Hannah and Christian (in Spirit), take back to Mali, Africa.
It is also the fourth in a series of transcripts taken from Facebook live videos between Hannah Velten, writer and Spirit Messenger, and her dead brother, Christian. The videos are recorded at https://www.facebook.com/searchforchrisvelten/
This transcription is taken from the video recorded on 4th January 2019 at 11am (GMT)
All live videos in the series, audio versions and transcriptions are available via Hannah’s website: www.hannahvelten.online/loss-is-an-illusion
All text in bold is Spirt, speaking. Normal text is Hannah, speaking. The transcripts have been slightly edited in Hannah’s parts, to aid clarity — no words from Spirit have been altered.
Good morning, everybody.
Thank you for joining us. It’s all quite exciting here at the moment, but there’s been something buzzing around which hasn’t been particularly pleasant, so I hope it’s going to disappear.
We’ll just get started I think. I’ve already lit some candles, for Spirit and for myself. I think we just need to get on with the travels.
If people don’t know me, my name is Hannah Velten and I’m a writer and Spirit Messenger and this morning is, I guess, the culmination of about 16 years. Christian, my brother who’s in Spirit, was missing for 15 years, presumed dead (I don’t know), but missing in Mali. It was the last place we heard from him in March 2003.
So all that time, he was missing and probably, in a lot of people’s minds, presumed dead. But as a family we never gave up on him and always had the hope. There were lots of searches for him initially and then in 2016 I started searching on social media for him. To cut a long story short, I found out that he was dead and had died in 2003, with a massive story that was untold.
I am able to communicate with Christian in Spirit. It’s taken an awfully long time for me to be able to do this — this is not something that’s just happened overnight. I’ve worked really hard to make this happen and for my ability to grow. I never knew I could do this and it’s taken 18 long months, at least, for me to learn how to do this and connect with Christian.
Back in August 2018, I got the first inklings from Christian that he wanted me to travel back to Africa to finish his story, to tell what happened to him. I initially thought, at the time, this would mean travelling physically back to Mali. If you’ve been following this community, you’ll know that I was nervous about that as Mali isn’t a place that the Foreign Office are telling people to go, but Christian always told me that it was going to be a safe journey for me to take.
He wanted me to tell his story. He wanted me to find an object. Now I’m not sure about this object, but it was definitely more about telling his story and giving closure to this whole trauma which has been going on for 16 years.
So, I think it just remains for me to say that we’re going to start travelling to Africa and this has been a culmination of a massive amount of work on my behalf. I’m nervous in that I’m doing this live and I’m nervous in that this is make or break, really. But I’m not going to think too much about that [Hannah laughs].
I know Christian is around me. He was visiting friends over Christmas and I had a wonderful email from one friend in particular who was desperate to talk to Christian again… [Hannah starts to well up with tears] — this is Christian’s feelings — he was able to connect with this friend and they had a lovely morning together.
So, Christian’s been visiting friends, and whatever, while I was in Scotland over Christmas. The minute I got back home, he’s been with me and pushing me to do this. I thought this was going to be a warm-up, but it’s not — this is the real thing.
This first film will be us travelling to Africa. There will be three films, as far as I know, and a fourth one will be an analysis of the journey and the lessons learnt. So… let me just see if there’s anything else I need to say.
I have to tell you that when my eyes are closed it’s going to be Christian speaking (he speaks through me) and there’s something which I’ve resisted for a long time and that’s to allow him to use my voice. But, I think, if I can (well, I know I can) I’m going to allow him to use my voice. So, if my voice drops a lot then it’s just Christian. He wanted to bring through his voice because he’s always saying that it looks funny that it’s his sister people can see, but him speaking. Just bear with me, if my voice keep going up and down… you’ll know why.
Is there anything else I need to say? [Has several glugs of tea].
I think I’m going to just close my eyes and see what happens. I’ll see you on the other side. I don’t know how long this is going to take. I have no idea. Let’s just see where this goes.
[Hannah gets a tissue out of a packet, settles in her chair and takes some deep breaths with her eyes closed].
Hi, Han. I’m here. You know I’m always here with you. You can tell the audience that…
Yes, any emotion that comes through me will be Christian’s. He’s trying really hard to control his emotions, but it’s really hard to control them all the time. But hey, that’s okay. He keeps telling me not to wear so much eye makeup because it just runs! So, it’s going to be emotional. There’s going to be sweat, blood and tears. Hopefully, not so much in this first one, but I’m just going to go with it and trust.
You can take over…
Okay. Hi, everybody. It’s Christian here, but coming through my sister’s body. She’s amazing. She’s my channel that I can reach you through. It might take a while for us to get in the swing as we haven’t done this for a few weeks and Hannah’s had, I choose my words, the ‘excitement’ of the Christmas holidays to contend with.
I’m just going to let her settle for a bit. [Hannah takes some deep breaths]
When we travelled together in May 2018, we travelled as eagles to Africa. The eagle form that I took then was my ‘soul self’ and we went to rescue Christian, as 27 years-old Christian, from Africa, where he’d latched into another’s body to survive. Christian, at that time, didn’t know he’d died.
His death, as we’re going to find out, was fairly brutal. I’m using Christian, aged 27, and myself, now, in a very distinct way so that Hannah is able to deal with what she sees, feels, hears. [Hannah emotional]. She has to remember that Christian she’s travelling with now is ‘soul Christian’; the one who’s very much alive. Her brother, now. The 27 years- old Christian we will travel with, by his side, is not her brother any more.
I’ve now had to come into my eagle form. Hannah can feel me here, on the left. She can feel my wings flapping, like the beating of wings, of air. This is the form I have to take to travel with her. She now needs to, if you’ll excuse her for a moment, join me in her eagle form. [Hannah takes more deep breaths].
Sorry, I’ve got a real urge to open my eyes at the moment [Hannah opens her eyes]. I don’t know why, but it’s my subconscious going, ‘Shit, Hannah, you’ve really got to do this!” [Hannah takes a gulp of tea]. There’s no turning back. This is what it’s all been for. [Hannah’s sniffing]
Okay. [Hannah takes more deep breaths]. I feel like swearing, but I won’t.
Okay. [Hannah closes her eyes and breaths deeply]. Okay.
Hannah hasn’t flown for a long time…
Okay… let’s go.
Okay. This is Hannah now. It’s so free up here. He’s here. We fly together — almost touching wings. Just gliding, at the moment.
I can see we’re already flying over, if I look down, it WAS like dusty, desert-y-looking, but now it’s patches of green.
We’re coming down. Sinking.
We’re on the ground. We’re just waiting. I’ve got tingling hands… they must be my feet. It’s hot on the ground. I’m jumping about. It’s hot. I don’t want to stay down too long. We’re just waiting here.
I can feel real movement in my body. I think…
I’m now standing up. I’m not an eagle anymore. Christian’s not an eagle any more.
I’m a… oh, you didn’t tell me that was going to happen…
Okay. We’re doing what we did in May. He’s… let me get this straight.
‘Soul Christian’, my brother, contains 27 years-old Christian. He’s brought 27-years-old Christian with us to Africa. 27 years-old Christian is standing here [Hannah indicates with her left hand]. He’s taking my left hand. Ah, okay. He wants to show me what happened to him.
I’m like this wobbly human being, now. I must be 28 years-old Hannah [Hannah’s age in 2003]. He’s going to show… [Hannah emotional]. We’re going to do this together as 27 years-old Christian and 28 years-old Hannah, but what you’re going to see is ‘soul Hannah’ and ‘soul Christian’.
I didn’t want to tell Hannah this before we travelled, because she might not have wanted to do this. It’s going to feel so very real to her. And I was nervous she was going to back out. But on a ‘soul’ level, she’s more than ready to do this and this is the purpose of the 16 years.
[The following section is Hannah channelling an African goddess, Oshun]
[27 years-old] Christian has a camera with him. Two cameras: a film camera and a stills camera. When Hannah was searching for Christian in 2016, she was directed off the scent to Kenya — we didn’t want Hannah to start meddling, or get involved, with the story we’re about to tell.
We’re in East [she means West] Africa, following Christian’s journey, following in the footsteps of Mungo Park, the Scottish explorer who Christian identified with, so strongly.
The voice Hannah’s hearing now is… her guide in Africa. [Hannah smiles]. She’s met me several times. When she dances, she dances with me. I am a goddess of love and of the river. I’m here to protect Hannah.
Christian has to play out his story. I’m putting a wall, a veil, between Hannah and Christian now (I can feel that), so that Hannah is not effected by events. She is always protected. It will be like she’s with Christian, but apart from him. There’s no danger to her. She will not be involved with, or influence, anything that will happen.
We are stepping into a different timeframe. There is no linear timeframe where we are now. What is about to happen, is happening in the present. It is happening now. But on a different time dimension. What Hannah will see, feel and hear will be happening now. She’s with her brother, aged 27; with her young brother.
Okay, thank you. Okay.
Okay. Let’s go, Han. I’ve got stuff to show you. I want you to meet some people I’ve met.
I just need to clarify to the audience, when I speak now, it’s Christian aged 27. Hannah doesn’t exist in this place… well, she does, but she’s not influencing anything that’s happening. I’m now viewing 16 years ago. Whooaaa.
Let’s see where we’re going to go.
We’re upright. We’re walking together.
It’s like he’s using the camera. He’s pretending that he’s talking to an audience [Hannah laughs]. He’d doing exactly what I’m doing now! He’s filming what he’s seeing and he’s filming himself. And he’s telling you, his audience, his story.
So, you, the audience, watching me, Hannah, are actually watching 27 years-old Christian.
27-years old Christian has now moved into me (I’ve just felt it) so from now, I’m him.
Hi, everybody [Hannah’s voice breaks]. I can’t believe I’m actually here [Hannah emotional] — actually in Africa. This is my first piece to camera. It’s been quite a long journey. I haven’t filmed lots before. Had a few problems with batteries and lenses. And the heat has kind of fogged up the camera. At night, the temperatures drop and condensation on the lens has caused a few problems. But, hey, I’m here now.
There’s so much to tell you, but I’ve got a long journey to make so I’m going to be able to tell you as I go along. I’ve been wanting to make this film for a l-o-n-g time.
I’m a bit nervous, moving about [Hannah twitching and moving her hands about], but this is gonna be my… I don’t know if it’s putting it too strongly… the adventure of my lifetime.
I’ve got a really strong feeling that this is something I’m going to be remembered for. I’m not all together sure if it’s going to be in a positive way, though. Several things have happened since I’ve been out here (I’ve been out here for a few weeks) and I’m beginning to feel that what people told me at home, before I left, might just become a truth. I’m hoping not. I’m shaking when I speak about it.
[Hannah takes deep breaths]
Umm. Yeah. This journey isn’t what I thought it was going to be…
[Hannah takes deep breaths and gets emotional] It’s really hard to talk about this… because there is so much riding on this journey, for me. I talked it up to so many people. I didn’t listen to a lot of people — when they warned me. Why didn’t I listen to people?
Because… why didn’t I listen to people?
Argh. My hands are hurting. [Hannah rubbing her hands together and sniffing]. They’re sore. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be [Hannah struggling to keep her emotions under control].
I’m going to have to sit down.
Why didn’t I…?
Ahh. This presence is here with me [Hannah calms, noticeably]. It’s a grandmother. She’s telling me it’s okay. [Hannah emotional, then calms]. She’s been here with me. She makes me feel calm. She tells me it’s okay. [Hannah taking deep breaths and wiping away tears].
Oh… my knees hurt [Hannah rubbing her knees]. I’m cold… but I’m okay. On the inside, I’m okay. I have this godmother with me. It’s not someone I knew in life; it’s a godmother that Hannah and I must have known. She tells me she knows Hannah [Hannah very, very emotional].
Of all the people, I miss Hannah the most. But this godmother, she tells me that Hannah’s here, too. She tells me that Hannah’s always with me… which is a really good thing.
Argh… I need to tell you about Hannah — you don’t know who she is. Hannah’s my big sister. [Hannah calms with lots of sniffling]. Hannah. I don’t really know Hannah. We knew each other as kids — we were so close — and then I went to different schools. I went to Holmewood, to Chaterhouse, to Edinburgh. I lost contact with Hannah.
But grandmother tells me that Hannah’s here. She’s going to look after me, some how. I really wish I could see her and feel her, but I can’t. And I don’t know how she can help me now as she’s 1000s of miles away in Cornwall.
But anyway… what do I need to tell you.
This journey, I was going to tell you. But I’m not going to tell you now… I’ve had enough tears.
Ahhh — I need to focus. Ummm. What do I need to tell you?
This journey, this trip, this expedition that I’m on… as I was saying… it’s following in the footsteps of Mungo Park. Errr. Mungo. Same age as me. He was destined for a life in the Scottish Borders, as a doctor, but his heart wasn’t in it. He wanted to travel. He wanted to experience life. I identified with him because he was so brave, so gung-ho in a way. He was… like… I was, before I left for Africa.
When I was reading about Mungo, he was… I see now… he was just like me in that he didn’t have a clue what he was getting into [Hannah wryly smiles]. I thought I knew what I was getting into, but oh-boy… why the Hell didn’t I bring a film crew? Why didn’t I listen to people? Why didn’t I… just… why didn’t I listen to people?
I couldn’t listen to people. I wouldn’t listen to people. This was my journey to make… this would make my name as an explorer, as a traveller, be my starting point. It was like the journey I’d been working up to, all these years. I was never going to listen to anybody; I had to do this journey.
And Hannah, if you’re watching this, you were a bit of an inspiration to do the journey, too, because you never let anything stop you. I followed you to Australia. You followed your dreams to Cornwall. You were always working hard. You got that job you always wanted. You were always striving. You were always fighting. You were always focused on what you wanted. And I guess I emulated you, in the end.
It’s funny… I thought this journey would be all about showing you, the audience, the Africa I was travelling through and the Africa I was seeing. But, actually, this film is actually a, I suppose you’d say, a ‘human interest story’ now.
I’ve been to Africa many times before. I’d always concentrated on the people and places I’d seen. I never really thought about the bigger picture of why I was in Africa: why I was always drawn to Africa. I remember sitting with my grandfather, John, and he had books about Africa, he’d been on safari, he’d collected masks… he showed me all these things. We didn’t talk about Africa in the way I see it now, but Grandpa must have experienced something in Africa because he talked about Africa with such passion… and I’m sure he’s with me, now.
This trip has really changed me. It’s humbled me. It’s made me become aware of how incredibly small I am. Africa’s broken me in many ways.
When I say ‘Africa’ I mean… what do I mean? It’s like the experience of it, the place, the feeling of it. The sky. The expanse. The feel of it. The light. Just the place. It’s a different world. And unless you experience it, and live in it, and take notice of it, it… ah… I don’t know about other people… but it’s broken me.
When I say ‘broken’, I’m not the person I was when I left England. Tiny little England: bustling, busy, Little Life. Even the last few weeks of travelling… or is it months?
I was keeping track, but I’ve had quite a few detours. Not from the direction, the plan of where I’m going, but in terms of time. Time has expanded. It’s almost like I can see myself planning my trip and writing ‘3 days in Mopti’, ‘5 days Timbuktu’ and I laugh now, because the dimension of time is so different. I’ve lost track of time. And that’s been so freeing. I’ve been able to meet people and then go and stay with them in their houses, and their huts. I’ve always been very welcomed. And the people… have been… on the whole… incredibly inviting, warm, friendly, helping me: giving me water, giving me food and I thank God for meeting those people.
Children. So many children have been around me. They make my heart sing. There’s such innocence in children. I’ve always loved being around children. They don’t ask anything from me. They just want to touch me. [Hannah touches parts of her body as Christian talks] They want to touch my face, they want to touch my beard. My funny hair. They want to look in my brown eyes. They like to poke me [Hannah laughs]. They pinch my skin. Feel the hairs on my arms. They think I’m very funny and I guess I must look very funny to them.
The children, in lots of ways, have been my saviour.
[Hannah sighs] What’s been so hard? Why am I feeling like this?
I knew it would be hard. I knew this journey would be hard. I spoke to Mum on the phone a few days ago [long pause]. That was hard. It was hard to be upbeat [long pause]. I told her a few things: that I’d stayed longer with this family; I told her about the donkey that I had to sell.
I couldn’t keep it any longer to pull my load. I didn’t have enough food and water for it. It was easier to sell, but I told her I think I got fleeced. I didn’t get enough money for her. But I wasn’t going to argue. I’m not in a state to be able to argue…. which might surprise friends, because I would always stand up for myself and for anybody who I felt was being… er… taken the Mickey out of. But, as I say, that is not something I can do.
It’s relentless, this travelling. Relentless.
But I’m aware my battery is now going to be running out. I just wanted to record some thoughts… while I can. It might be that this camera’s not going to be used very much. I might just have to use it when I can; when I really need to talk.
I’ve got my stills camera, so I’m taking photos all the time, as a record. But, yeah, is there anything else I need to tell you?
Not for now… my stomach’s rumbling. I need to get some rest. And onwards. I just have to keep going. Do I have to keep going? [Hannah takes a deep breath]. I don’t know at this point.
Grandmother tells me, “Just keep going.” She’s right with me. She’s a comfort. I just have to keep going and work out… work out…what I’m going to do. If I can, I finish the journey. That’s what Hannah would do. She’d focus. She’d finish the journey. But something’s [long pause]…
I think I just need to rest. Get some food in my stomach. I have money in the lining of my tent, so I know I can get provisions but I must have underestimated the distances… the travelling. I feel, I feel nervous about being able to reach places in time. I can feel my mortality… [long pause]… but I just have to keep on, because I know: ‘One step in front of the other’, ‘One foot in front of the other’. Grandmother’s here with me.
Anyway, that wasn’t a jolly bit to camera, was it? [Hannah smiles]. When I get back home, IF I get back home, I want to remember where I was, physically, emotionally, mentally. I suppose I want to show this to my children. There must be some lessons in it, for them. [Hannah smiles and sighs].
But anyway, hopefully next time I speak I’ll have moved on and I’ll be in a better place. Bye, bye.
[Hannah takes a deep breath]
It’s not nice to see him like that, is it. [Long pause]
It’s not nice for me to see myself like that. But aged 27, I had so much to learn. [Long pause]
I wish I could tell you that it was going to be alright for 27 years-old Christian, but you know the ending. But what you don’t know is how I came to that ending. It won’t be pretty and in many ways it won’t be a surprise to you, and the reason why we’re doing this journey is so that nobody else in the family needs to travel to find out what happened to Christian. Enough lives have been lost with Mungo Park. In his family, too.
[The following section is Hannah channelling God]
Telling his story [Hannah clears her throat] will show others how not to live their lives. Christian ignored his own feelings, intuition and other’s feelings and intuitions. But that was the way it had to be.
The lessons you learn in life, each life, come around again in the next life until you learn those lessons. Once you learn the lessons, as Christian is beginning to in his life, then you move onto another cycle of lessons. You’ll find out what Christian ultimately found out in this life, and why in his next life he can move onto other lessons.
In the next life, you move on together, equally. Shoulder to shoulder. Side by side.
This is God speaking, this is not Christian. But your story in this life, as siblings, will be told and heard by millions. The story is not a new one; it happens to people every day. They ignore feelings, intuition, the little voice, for many reasons and that’s not the way you’re supposed to live, on Earth. But we’ll talk more about that when your journey is done with Christian. I’ll hand you back to ‘soul Christian’.
Hey, Han… we better get you back home. Get back in the eagle.
It’s hot [Hannah flexes her hands and laughs]. Yeah, that wasn’t what I was expecting. I don’t know, what was I expecting? I was expecting to… I don’t know, I don’t know.
[The following is all said in a trance, seemingly to ‘soul Christian’]
The only time… when I used to visit Christian he was always ill, tired, lying down. He’d never tell me where he was. It was always dark, or I could only see the silhouette of mountains. And there was always the grandmother figure there when I visited him. There must have been some massive time slips going on here. Different time from what we’re used to — linear time.
But I’ve met that grandmother. She was ‘Edie’ to me; Christian obviously didn’t know her name. But she used to stop me from seeing Christian. She was like a brick wall. She kept us apart. Some days I could see Christian and be with him; other days she wouldn’t let me near him…. anyway… we’re coming back down.
I can tell we’re back in the bedroom.
Okay, it’s Hannah speaking. Umm…
‘Soul’ Christian’s just moved from next to me, as an eagle, and he’s now moved back inside my heart [Hannah indicates her heart and is still slightly in a trance]… where he usually is. [Hannah takes some deep breaths].
That was certainly a ride. [Long pause]
Is there anything you want me to say? I’m going to open my eyes [Hannah slowly opens her eyes and looks about]
Cor… I don’t know how long I was away for. Christian’s just left — said I need time to let that settle.
That was not what I was expecting. I’m okay, though.
[Hannah takes a deep breath and exhales deeply]
Kind of makes sense, now — quite a few things. The filming aspect, in particular. And the fact that he initially wanted me to find the object, which was the camera. But I didn’t have any clue that effectively what I’m doing is being him, filming himself… obviously having a tough time. But we always knew it was going to be a tough time for him and that’s what he was obviously realising.
In the first film we made together, he was upset talking about seeing himself as 27 years-old Christian on camera, before he left for Africa, so full of life. He said then: ‘The hilarity of youth.” The thinking that the journey he’d planned, was going to be do-able: on his own, with a film camera, some money, a tent, a rucksack, some clothes… FUCK.
Hey… it’s all in the past. Well, it’s all in the past in linear time, but obviously I’m able to tap into the cycle of time. That’s going to be a lot to take in, but I think the sooner we get this journey out of the way, the better. So, I think the next video will be quite soon — next week.
Anyway, [Hannah laughs] I’m tired and I need time to digest all of that. But you have to remember that Christian is not there any more, he’s now here with me [Hannah points to her heart]. He’s alive, just somewhere else [Hannah laughs] and it’s lovely that I have that very strong connection with him: he’s part of my life, all of the time. And if he’s not here with me, he’s off visiting friends and doing his own thing. But he’s been with me for the past 4–5 days, really intensely. He’ll probably disappear for the weekend, and then he’ll be back and we’ll carry on.
But, I think, even for ‘soul Christian’, on some level, that’s going to have been difficult to see again. But I do know that this is clearing the past, so it’s definitely something that I need to, and want to, carry on with. The journey can’t be left, unfinished.
By the way, I can feel emotions from the audience watching and I feel really heavy at the moment. I suppose I’m, at this point, trying to make you feel better about this [Hannah laughs]. It’s okay. Don’t worry about me going through this process.
But if you’re feeling particularly emotional or the film has brought something out for you, look at what it is. I’m expecting these films to bring things up for you — that’s the whole point of doing these films.
Christian and I are doing these films for our benefit, in terms of future generations, and we’re also doing it for anybody who’s watching. By us telling the story and doing our own clearing, we may well inspire you to do your own clearing, but, hey, it doesn’t matter… just follow the story. Don’t make it too hard, or too heavy [Hannah laughs].
We’re just going to tell the story of what happened and hopefully everyone can learn from it and come out the other side in a better state than we went in!
But anyway, I shall say goodbye, lots of love and thank you for watching. I’ll let you know when the next session is…
Lots of love [Hannah blows a kiss]