The following is the second part of the journey that siblings, Hannah and Christian (in Spirit), take back to Mali, Africa.
It is also the fifth in a series of transcripts taken from Facebook live videos between Hannah Velten, writer and Spirit Messenger, and her dead brother, Christian. The videos are recorded at https://www.facebook.com/searchforchrisvelten/
This transcription is taken from the video recorded on 10th January 2019 at 11am (GMT)
All live videos in the series, audio versions and transcriptions are available via Hannah’s website: www.hannahvelten.online/loss-is-an-illusion
All text in bold is Spirt, speaking. Normal text is Hannah, speaking. The transcripts have been slightly edited in Hannah’s parts, to aid clarity — no words from Spirit have been altered.
Good morning, everybody.
I hope everyone’s well. I’m going to light some candles as I didn’t do it earlier. Sorry, I’m a bit late; bit flustered this morning. But calm now.
[Hannah lights candles for herself, for Spirit and for the audience/community]
I just want to tell you a little bit… if you watched the first part of this journey with Christian there was a really big distinction made between ‘soul Christian’, as he is now (as my brother) and 27 years-old Christian, who we met in Africa in the last episode.
The big distinction is really for my benefit in that what I’m experiencing is very real and there has to be a barrier between Christian, aged 27, and myself. I have to not identify with my brother as being that 27 years-old Christian for my sake: emotional, mentally and spiritually — in every way.
The second point is that we must have met the 27 years-old Christian around 23 March 2003 as he mentioned phoning home (for the last time). He was finding it difficult. He was questioning why he was actually doing the journey and that everybody’s warnings, concerns and advice, he’d basically disregarded because he had to do the journey.
It was not something he could stop happening.
When I’d finished the last episode, I was very bewildered, to be honest. Because he was definitely talking about this grandmother figure that was with him, and that I was also with him. There’s a lot of time slips going on and I had to get my head around that.
The other thing I must mention was the fear that came up around continuing the journey. The reason for that is, firstly, because they’re live, but, mainly, experiencing what my brother went through in his last few weeks is not easy to do. A lot of fear suddenly came up, this week, about doing this again. But I took time yesterday to relax and to burn away the fear that’s there. It’s definitely something I have to, and want to, carry on with. We’ll have to just see what happens in this episode.
I don’t know what else I have to tell you, but just as a reminder — when my eyes are closed, it’s Spirit speaking. Last episode we had Christian, God and Oshun, who’s an African goddess of love, the river and emotions. She’s there as my guide and she is protecting me, as well. There’s a lot of protection available to me while I travel.
I trust they are all there and I trust that everything will happen as it should.
Is there anything else I need to say to you?
I don’t think there is, so I’m just going to crack on. Just have a few glugs of tea.[Hannah takes three glugs of tea]
Right, see where we get taken today.
I’m going to close my eyes [Hannah closes her eyes] and off we go.
… [Hannah opens her eyes] There’s a presence here, who’s been in my head for the last few minutes and it’s not a pleasant one, so I just need to deal with that one for a minute. Think it’s fear or it’s somebody trying to tap in to disrupt this.
[Hannah closes her eyes and settles back in her chair and takes deep breaths]
[Hannah opens her eyes, again, and gets a tissue out of the packet] Just had a thought… in case of running eye makeup!
[Hannah settles back into her chair, again]
Of course I’m here, Han. I’m always here for you, my lovely sister. Today we’re going to try something a bit different: something not seen before. It’s going to open your eyes to a whole new world of possibilities. It’s gonna be quite a shock to you and your audience, because what we set in motion now will have reverberations across the globe.
Don’t worry, you’re going to be safe all the time. Nothing can harm you; nothing can hurt you; no one can stop you from living your wildest dreams, with me right by your side. As ‘soul Christian’, I’ll always be your brother. Whatever happens to 27 years-old Christian is his own making, is his own responsibility.
It had to happen and it plays a part in everyone’s processing of life and possibilities beyond the physical, and what can happen in the physical [Hannah speaking very slowly] can bring peace and healing to many who don’t even know us as Hannah and Christian Velten.
You forgot to say who you were, Hannah. I’ll introduce you now…
So, this lady talking at the moment is my sister, Hannah, Hannah Velten. She’s a writer and Spirit Messenger and is able to speak on my behalf.
My name is Christian. I’m Hannah’s brother in Spirit. We’re retracing my last steps on Earth in this life. It won’t be terribly pretty, I’m afraid. The last episode saw me speaking to my film camera, which was playing up, so I was only able to snatch short moments in front of the camera.
But it became obvious in the first episode that I was finding travelling on my own more difficult that I ever imagined. The distances I had to cover were huge and it was relentless: in the sun, finding shade, finding food and water, meeting people, being helped by people. But there was also a bad element who were following me.
I spoke in the first episode of something bothering me. I didn’t say who or what that was but this episode will reveal what had happened previously and what was going to happen to me in Kita, and beyond in Bamako.
This might be distressing for Hannah and that’s why we’ve come up with the barrier she talked about. She’ll see, feel and hear 27 years-old Christian’s emotions and feelings and see his actions, but she can’t affect anything or influence anything. She’s just a bystander.
The Christian we’ll meet again is in quite a state, mentally and physically and emotionally. Hannah has protection all around her. She’s loved and always surrounded by angels and spirits when she travels, afar.
That’s all I have to say at the moment, as an introduction. So… Hannah’s feeling, understandably, fearful of what’s about to happen, but she knows (and I’ve already told her this, this morning) it’s the most important event of her life. But she has to be brave and trust that this is all for the good.
It will wipe the slates clean. It will prevent her son following in [Hannah tearful] his uncle’s footsteps.
There are lessons for everyone in this journey.
No more delays.
We’re going to move into our eagle form.
This is Hannah speaking… Christian’s here [Hannah indicates to her left-hand side]. I can feel the wings (I described it last time). Flapping wings. This is the eagle form he takes to travel with me, and it’s also the form I need to be in.
[Long pause… and Hannah opens her eyes to have another glug of tea]
My throat’s gone dry.
[Hannah settles back into her chair, again]
Okay. We’re lifting up.
Christian’s just telling me at the moment that it’s not going to take too long to get into the right state. In the last episode it took a while, but it will be quicker as we’re more practised now.
A part of me really, really doesn’t want to do this.
We’re just flying at the moment. We’re looking for somewhere to land. We’re coming in. It’s like we’re circling. Come down.
And Christian’s just saying to me, “Here it is.”
Okay. We’re on the ground.
I can sense there are people around. Not a real crowd, but people. There are buildings. Brown buildings.
Christian tells me that I’m resisting, still.
[Hannah takes a deep breath] Just relax.
Okay. I think I’m 27 years-old Christian… I’m lying down. I’m really tired.
Okay. What’s happened? It’s like I’ve got a head wound or a bash in my head [Hannah feels the front left temple].
I’m feeling cold, trembly. I’m lying on the ground.
Somebody’s kind of prodding me. There’s an accent I can’t…
“You okay, boy?”
“He needs help.”
[Hannah starts to shiver uncontrollably]
There’s a blanket being laid over me.
“Take him into the shade.”
I can feel I’m being lifted up…
… I’m still being carried. I don’t know where I’m being carried to.
My head hurts [Hannah feels her left temple and starts to sob]. I don’t know if they know I can feel this. I don’t know if they know I’m alive.
I’m just so cold. My hands are hurting. And my head, it’s here [Hannah indicates her left temple]. There’s blood.
Okay. Ahh… Grandmother’s here with me, again. “It’s okay, Christian. It’s okay. It’s okay.” Ahh… Hannah’s here, too. “It’s okay, Christian.”
The people really don’t know what to do with me. They don’t really want me here.
“White boy, injured. Who’s done this to him? Bad news. So dirty, unkempt. What’s he doing here? He has nothing…. No shoes…. his clothes are ripped. Who looks after him? Where he been? What’s his story?”
There’s lots of people around me. I can feel them. But I must be looking lifeless, because they’re not engaging with me; they’re talking amongst themselves.
There’s a lady here. She’s old. She’s… telling them, “Bring him here. I see to him… Bring him here!”
She sounds like Mum! She’s talking control. I feel good about her. She says, “Bring him to my place… We need to look after him,” she says. “We need to look after him. We need to get him better. He’s a special one. I know all about him [Hannah emotional].”
I don’t know what she means, but I’m happy to go with her.
“I knew he’d be coming. I saw it in a dream. He brings a lot of people with him. We need to look after him. He has a story to tell, which will touch many hearts. We must look after him.”
“Are you mad?” somebody’s asks.
“NO!” She’s really insistent. “We must look after him. We must look after him. Bring him to my place.”
Okay. [Hannah clears her throat]
She knows I’m alive. She’s stroking my face. I’m lying down. She’s stroking my face.
“It’s okay, white one,” she says. “You’re safe with me. I look after you. I get you better. And send you on your way.”
“You have something following you. You must keep going. I get you better.”
Ahh… I can feel her. She’s looking at my head. She’s tutting.
“What did they do to you?” she’s saying. She’s touching my face, and it hurts here on my cheek [Hannah touches the top of her right cheek and around her right eye] and around my eye.
She’s saying, “You silly boy, non? You did silly thing. Tried to get close to woman you shouldn’t have. Teach you a lesson. They tried to… you no make friends with their woman, their girl, their sister.”
I was only being friendly. She was nice. She was kind. She could see my pain. We only talked under the tree. She came and [Hannah tearful] sat next to me. In Kita.
Oh, my head’s spinning. Ah… right, we’re going back, in time, to Kita.
I’m sitting under a tree, feeling really light-headed. I’m sitting with my back against the tree. It’s like a really gnarled tree. It’s got rings of bark around it, raised [Hannah indicating bands of bark with her hands]. It’s digging into my back, but I have to sit down. Really light-headed.
I’ve got pain in my ribs [Hannah indicating to her left side], like a stitch. Or is it? No, it’s a stitch, I can feel it.
I have to sit down. I’ve got my rucksack with me. [Hannah puts her hand to her face and spits] Argh, these flies. And my hair [Hannah flicking away hair]. I feel awful.
But this girl is beautiful. She’s coming to…[Hannah getting emotional]. She’s like an angel. She’s taken my hand. She’s the first person to talk to me for a while. The state I’m in; people look at me like I’m a tramp, I guess. There’s no malicious meant towards me, but I don’t think they know how to treat me.
But this girl is like an angel. But I’m aware [Hannah looks over to her right] of a group of men, three men. They’re watching. I’m trying to concentrate on this girl [Hannah indicates her mouth]. She has a cup. She’s putting it to my lips.
Ah, she’s here. She’s [Hannah emotional] asking me what she can do to help. She’s got such a lovely voice.
She’s says she knows Hannah. I don’t know how. I don’t understand any more [Hannah sniffing and teary].
Now she’s making me feel calm. [Hannah relaxes]. She’s here to help; to keep me going. She asks me, “Is Hannah your sister?”
“Yes, she is.”
“She says I need to look after you. Get you going, again.”
She tells me [Hannah said to tell me] “You need to trust in God. Trust in yourself. Be Christian, again. The Christian who (she’s really squeezing my hand) loves to dance. The Christian who loves to box. The Christian who loves to look after the children. Christian who loves to laugh and DANCE.” She keeps saying, “DANCE”. “You must be that Christian, again. Find that Christian.”
…. She’s got food for me.
I’m still aware of these men. They’re talking amongst themselves. They’re dressed in… quite smart clothes, like, um… er, I don’t know how to… like, drug dealers, is all I can think of.
Ahh [Hannah keeps sniffing]. She’s dressed… I’m looking at what she’s wearing. Western clothes. White top, blue jeans. Very white top — like, brilliant white, top. Blue jeans, tight jeans.
Ahh — she’s still holding my hand. I’m still eating. It’s like vegetables… millet… grains… vegetables, in a sauce. It’s nice. Ahhh.
She says I need to see a doctor. She says she knows someone who can help me, with some herbs.
She’s asking me if I have money.
Ugh… it doesn’t feel right again. Oh, God, what do I tell her?
What do I do? [Hannah whispers to herself]. What do I do?
I think I’m in trouble here… ah, but she said she knew Hannah, though. [Hannah shaking uncontrollably] Does that mean it’s okay?
Oh, she wants me to go with her, to find help. But these men are watching. It doesn’t feel right.
I’m looking around. There are other people watching, but they’re watching and just moving on. It’s like people don’t want to interfere. She’s just picked up my bag. She’s saying how heavy it is, “That’s a lot to carry.”
Oh, shit. She’s put the bag on her shoulder. My blue bag, she’s… FUCK.
Agh, she’s taking me by the hand. I have to get up.
She says there’s going to be more help, more food and water, and herbs to make me feel better.
Ugh… I can’t… I said before, that I’m not strong enough to fight. I don’t know what to do. I just have to… she knows Hannah. I have to go with her, I suppose.
[Hannah sits upright] I’m just trying to put one foot in front of the other. I can’t believe what a bad state I’ve got into. I maybe don’t look that bad to other people, but compared to how I started this journey, this is not me at all.
It’s like we were in a sort of square, or quite an open place, but now we’re going into narrow… narrow corridor between houses. I just have to keep walking. I don’t know what else to do.
She’s just leading me. Hmmm… I can feel the three are behind me [Hannah shaking her head] and there’s no way… I can’t stop this. [Hannah blows out a breath]. They’re here; they’re behind me. I just have to… I know what’s coming.
Agh. She’s turned to me. “MONEY”
They’re all behind me. I can’t do anything. I just can’t…
She’s given them my bag.
I can hear their shouting. They can’t find anything in my bag that’s… they can’t find money. She’s looking at me; she’s saying, “Where’s the money? You must have money… You must have money!” She’s getting really angry now.
I’m just going to stay quiet. They know I have money; I know I have money, but I’m just going to stay quiet. [Hannah’s still shaking uncontrollably]
I have my money in my tent, in the lining. I have the tent with me, by my side. [Hannah indicates to her left]
Agh, she’s in my face, sneering. “You must have money!”
[Hannah throws herself back into her chair, with a sharp intake of breath, and brings her left hand up to her throat] Urgh… I’m up against the wall, with a hand on my throat.
I’ve got to be brave. I’ve got to give nothing away.
She’s right. Hannah’s right. Hannah did come to her. She gave me the message I must be strong. Hannah’s definitely here with me now. [Hannah, still with her head held back, is holding herself together].
…. [Hannah suddenly holds her breath, and then falls forward, gagging and struggling for breath, while clutching at her throat with her left hand] They’ve let me…
Oh, they’re really, really angry with me. [Hannah gulps and winces]
I’m on the ground. They’re all above me. She’s with me, kneeling with me. If I could ever describe somebody as wicked…
I can’t give her anything. I know what’s going to happen next; it’s violence. I can feel it coming. [Hannah tries to curl into a ball] I can’t do anything. I need the loo, as well. There’s nothing I can do.
Just try and keep my things with me.
I’m a fucking boxer, and I can’t even defend myself.
I’ve gotta keep my stuff with me.
I can hear Hannah, she’s saying to me…
[Hannah puts her left hand up around her jaw and squeezes] She’s got my jaws, like that. “One last chance,” she’s saying.
[Hannah looks about her] There’s nobody around; there’s nobody to stop this. I’m just going to have to take it. Soak it up. Whatever it is.
Okay. I can’t stop it. I can’t stop it. [Hannah breathes out heavily, resigned]
[Hannah clasps her hands together, shaking her head] They’ve got my hands. He’s sitting on my legs. He’s got my hands.
[Hannah gulps loudly and moves her left hand to her head]
My head. Bashes to my head. [Hannah leans forward and hangs her head; her left hand holds her left front/temple]
[Hannah sits up and looks about her, slightly shaking her head].
Hmmm. Where am I now? I’m not in the street.
[Hannah sits hunched up, shivering]
FUCK! What went on? I don’t know what went on. I’m in…
Oww, my head [Hannah holds the left side of her head, in pain and disorientated]. FUCK.
… I’m alive. I can feel my legs. I can feel my hands. Hm. Strangely enough, I feel… [Hannah tentatively feels her head; shaking violently]. Hm.
There’s blood, but I… [Hannah laughs] I’m a fucking boxer, I’ve had worse than that. [Hannah holds her head, again]. Hannah’s right.
Okay. [Hannah flexes her fingers] What do I do now? Where’s my stuff? [Hannah looks about her] Hm. What have I got?
Hmmmm. My tent’s still here. Okay. That means I still have money.
But I don’t have my rucksack. Fuck.
FUCK. I don’t have my rucksack [Hannah cries]. It’s all my stuff. Shit.
Okay. Maybe it’s somewhere here. Okay. Don’t panic.
Hannah’s just said, “Don’t panic”. “Don’t panic”.
Okay. Don’t panic.
Fuck it — she put it on her shoulder. And then it was… she put it down, and I was holding it again. No I wasn’t, or was I… [Hannah muttering]
Whoa. So calm; what’s going on?
Ah, Grandmother’s here. [Pause] She’s telling me I have to leave as quick as I can. She says don’t worry about the bag, at the moment. It will be found by someone else who’ll return it to you.
Okay. [Hannah breaths out, deeply] Ow, my head. [Hannah keeps touching the left temple/front of her head].
But it’s okay. I’ve had worse. I must have slept, too. I don’t know, I feel better [Hannah wryly smiles]. At least she gave me some food and drink.
Okay. [Hannah shakes violently, once, and moves in her seat]. Okay, I can stand up.
[Hannah looks about her]. I’m in a… ah, I don’t know where I am. In this room. It’s just a room. It’s got high, rectangle wind…holes in the wall. [Hannah indicating holes in line with her face]. Dusty floor [Hannah looking down towards the floor].
What have I got with me? My tent [Hannah clutches it on her left]. Fuck, fuck.
[Hannah looks about her] Ahhh. There’s my rucksack — well, what’s left of my stuff. It’s in the corner. It’s just some clothes. Hm. [Hannah sighs]. They got my cameras. Pah.
What the fuck are they going to do with cameras? Urgh.
Hmm. All in my head, I can just see them filming each other. They’re joking about, and filming with my camera. They’re just fooling around with this camera. And taking pictures with this camera. They’ve got the film camera and the stills camera. I guess that’s money to them — of course.
Oh well. I’m still alive. Ahhh. Okay.
“It’s okay,” says Grandmother. “Don’t worry about it. Someone will return those to you, one day. Hannah will get them back for you. In Kita. K-I-T-A. One day, Hannah’ll return for them. She won’t physically, but someone she’s going to encounter will offer to find the cameras.”
They still exist, 16 years later. Someone is keeping them… Hmm — it’s the girl [Hannah sighs]. The girl still has them [Hannah’s voice breaks and she sniffs and sighs]. What is it about this girl?
“She still knows Hannah. Hannah still visits her. [Hannah emotional]…”
[Mobile phone rings and interrupts the video] That was the school ringing…
… Who is this girl?
She wants to give you back the cameras. She’s kept them all this time. She knows what she did was so wrong. That was her life, back then. All the men she was with, have left. She wants to say sorry for her part.
But she doesn’t want to physically see me; she wants to hand the cameras over. She can’t bare to face me.
[Mobile phone rings, again].
The real world is intruding. I have to come back.
Okay. We’ve got to do this safely. It’s okay. We’ve got to fly back.
Oh… That was a lot to take in. I’m in; I’m okay. Christian was okay.
Okay. [Hannah taking lots of deep breaths]. I’m back in the bedroom.
[Hannah breaths out deeply and slowly opens her eyes and stretches]
Okay. [Hannah bit disorientated]
Okay. Well, I’m going to have to watch that back. The real world is totally intruding now — the school have rung and my husband has rung, so there must be something wrong at school. I’ll going to have to love you, and leave you. Thank you very much.
Apparently there’s one more session, but I’m going to have to have time to let this all sink in and, ummm, see where we go from here. But I’ll post when I can… when I have more information… because this girl obviously has a key to something.
Lots of love and thanks very much [Hannah blows a kiss].
Addition: The phone ringing (at the end of the recording) was the school to tell me my son had a headache (front left), was very emotional, cold and his mid-back was hurting. I’ve just collected him, given him hugs, paracetamol, food, drink and tucked him up in bed. Was that his uncle’s trauma being released so he won’t ever have to have it affect him?