Dear future self, listen to past me.

My first Medium-post! And, inspired by a friend, it is a letter to a future version of myself in which I try to give me some advice. It really wasn’t meant for anyone but me, but it sort of feels good to write it here.

(EDIT: When writing this, I am a bit surprised by how difficult it is to do without listing things that are pretty self-evident and/or sound at least partly like a bad motivational poster. (“Focus more!” — yes, obviously.) So I‘ve tried to limit myself to more specific advice that I believe are particularly important to ME. (Note to future self: this does not mean that you shouldn’t work out regularly, eat more greens, etc.))

You and work

You are a sensitive person. Accept it. When people give you well-meaning advice about how to be less sensitive, welcome it, but remember that you don’t have to change your personality in order to reach your professional goals. Stop thinking that being sensitive means that you’re not strong. Eliminate insecurities but not the characteristics that make you you. Know yourself well enough to separate the two and accept what you cannot alter. In short, just stop trying to change yourself to “become better” at work.

Don’t do a million things at once. You really weren’t made for that. Instead, strive to do one thing at a time even if you are restless— it makes you happier. Also, when you do that one thing, finish it completely if you can before moving on to the next thing. This only took three sentences to explain and yet managing to live by it will eliminate at least 75% of your work-related problems/worries.

You have this mode where you mix enthusiasm, confidence and knowledge perfectly and become a frickin’ WORK MACHINE. Keep trying to figure out what prompts that mode, and then apply that formula over and over again. Because being in that mode frickin’ RULES.

Strive for what you truly want, not what you think is expected of you or what is the most prestigious. This is pretty cliche, but that doesn’t make it any less true. And even though you don’t really want to admit it, it can be hard for you to do.

You and other people

If you are out with friends and start to feel tired and a bit out of place, go home. Even if you’re at the BEST.PARTY.EVER! You know you’ll just feel angsty if you don’t. If you are home alone but feel a bit lonely, go out. Don’t tell yourself that you “need” to stay home and rest if you aren’t feeling it. You’ll just feel angsty then, too.

Think the best of everyone, and try to genuinely believe that everyone thinks the best of you, too. 90% of negative thoughts you might have will come from not doing these exact two things. And those thoughts will get you nowhere.

Someone once told you that the feedback you get from other people says more about them than it does about you. Remember that. The power to define yourself is really important to you, so don’t let anyone take it away. You are at your happiest when you truly manage not to care about what other people think of you. It is one of the most difficult things you know. Hopefully, you have gotten better at it. If not, start by reading this letter without thinking first about other people that might have read it but rather how you felt when you wrote it and how you like reading it.

Also, try not to forget what you once read on Cara Delevignes Instagram account but is genuinely pretty insightful: that you should be kind to others, because everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

You and you

When you are buried in thoughts and feelings, go for a 30 minute run instead of spending the next five hours watching random Netflix shows to try and distract yourself.

Work against your lazy inclinations. Get up, get out, do stuff. Make to-do lists and cross things off it as you move along. Don’t try to tell yourself that you don’t like to-do lists — that’s just lazy you talking.

If you still have that purple and gold sparkly skirt, put it on RIGHT NOW. You LOVE that frickin’ skirt.

And try to write more! Because this was fun.