Your something

I recently purchased an old video game that I spent a great deal of my childhood playing : Harvest Moon : Back To Nature. I bought it used because the new ones are in the high 100’s now due to rarity, I guess. It’s a simple game where you are to take care of a farm, win the affection of a possible partner and after 3 years the town will decide if you get to stay or not. It’s nothing too fancy but it was something that won my heart over when I was younger. I didn’t get it again because I want to sit around playing video games all day. I have an old playstation 2 that I break out when something goes wrong and I need something to keep me from thinking too much. The last time I had it out was when my cousin passed away. I kept the lights on that entire night because I felt that if I closed my eyes, it meant it was really happening. The next day I decided to go to the local mall and purchased a new controller and a memory card for Kingdom Hearts 2. In games you can press pause. If you lose your life you have a restart option. You don’t get that luxury in reality. I needed something to keep my mind off of what was happening around me. I just wasn’t ready to accept it. Eventually, the game went back into the closet. I have it in a spot that is easier to reach now but I don’t keep it plugged in all the time or connected to the television. This past year I have had some health setbacks — compared to others, it is nothing but it is a great deal for me. I don’t handle pain very well. I got the game because there are nights when before all I could do was lay down and watch the ceiling as I prayed for sleep. I couldn’t move an inch because it would disturb the sleeping process and I’d have to start all over again. The only disruption was the falling of tears on my cheek because I was so damn frustrated. I won’t go into depth about the issue is because I don’t even know myself but it is mostly where I have shooting pains in the lower portion of my body and the slightest of movement can send my body into panic mode. The game is a distraction. That’s all it is. I can farm & enter a different world where my character doesn’t deal with pain. It keeps me occupied. The pain for me is still real but I’m not so focused on it when I start to mine or feed a chicken. It sounds silly, I know. But for me… it’s the only thing that prevents me from ripping out my hair out of desperation for an answer. You need your something in life. Whatever can make you happy in times of need. That’s something everyone should have. Whatever gets you to the next day ( that is safe ) hold onto that. You never know when you are going to need it.