🌰🌰 Claire is a plucky venture capitalist barking orders and making money. But they’re not all unicorns: her Mistle-Toe IPO is a big fat flop (how does an online mani-pedi even work?). …

🌰🌰🌰 Campy, horror, holiday fun! SANTA IN A SPRAY TAN is about to throw a woman off a pier to a waiting shark. He’s fought off by a dude and not even Santa’s guns “Feliz” and “Navidad” are a match for the dude’s power kick. The Shark gets her meal…

🌰 Oof. As long as this review is, it’ll take an hour and 42 minutes less than watching this dumb movie. Here’s what happened: Playboy Joseph charms the pants off women. His mom tells him this is literally the only skill he has. Ouch. Now he needs to use his…

🌰🌰🌰 Sisters Eve and Lacy live in an apartment together. Eve loves Christmas movies. Lacy is a SCRINCH who thinks Christmas movies are predictable: They meet. They fall in love. It snows. She’s right, and that’s what makes them SPECTACULAR, LACY! On Christmas Eve, Eve makes a wish, and they…

🌰🌰🌰 Brooke is a teacher whose heart was broken by James the douche. Cole is a knight from 1334 England who gets sent to 2019 Ohio to “fulfill his quest” which is to d̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶B̶r̶o̶o̶k̶e̶ open his heart and discover love by CHRISTMAS EVE. Brooke spills hot chocolate on Cole…

🌰 This movie eked out a single 🌰 thanks only to the puppies. They should have been the stars (oh wait, Hulu already did that with Puppies Crash Christmas, and I give that 🌰🌰🌰🌰). …

🌰🌰🌰 It’s the next installment in Amber and Richard’s love story. As their queen, Amber has totally won over the people of Aldovia. No one even wants to talk about the economy anymore. Richard and Amber changed the law so girl heirs can be in charge, too. …

🌰🌰 It’s nearly a year since lady blogger Amber and King Richard fell in love, and he proposed outside her dad’s diner. He said she wouldn’t have to give up anything, and they’ve been globetrotting and doing selfies poolside ever since. #RoyalLife Now it’s time for something really royal: their…

🌰🌰🌰 I missed this when it came out in 2017, but it’s the keystone movie in the Netflix Holiday Cinematic universe (NHCU), and our holiday movie review lineup wouldn’t be complete without it. Eager beaver aspiring journalist Amber gets her big break when she’s assigned to cover the royals of…