On how to survive as a Project Manager…

I am one of those… The dreaded Project Managers, those that just are there to be the killjoy of all projects… Or to be honest the one who make sure that everyone get what they need to be great at what they are doing.

The thing is, to be a project manager is to know that everything is your fault no matter what. And you do get paid for being that person in the middle. It is not for everyone to be a project manager, because you actually need to understand so many different things when it comes to leadership and diplomacy (and at times buttkissing).

You will never really be loved as a project manager, but you might get some respect over time here and there. When they respect you more, they will give you worse and worse projects to manage… It is not a punishment to project manager, it is the reward for being reasonably good in doing the impossible.

What do you really need to understand to be a great project manager? (I am not claiming to be one, merely quite capable eventually…)

Everything that goes wrong is your fault! Just accept it and nothing will put you down… No, nothing that goes right is your merit either, unfair but true.
Fight for your team, they are the ones that you are plowing the way for to make sure that they have necessary resources to do what is at task. Also never hang them out to dry if something goes wrong, you will need them later on and be fair to them (when possible, spoil them with dinner and treats, they will fight for you then when needed.).
If you cannot say no, never ever take the role as project manager. No is one of the most important words you need to manage to say. (Projects derail very fast if you cannot stand up to steering groups, product managers etc)
Project Management is very little about methodology, 90% is people skills/focus and 10% method. Scrum, Lean/Kanban, PMI, Props, PPS, Prince2 is highly uninteresting if you cannot manage people and stakeholders. I have seen all kind of projects go south no matter project methodology… Scrum masters seem to be as rigid as any PMI-person ever been. (In fact they tend to be very fixated with the method and not the team.)
The only thing you actually need is a decent tool for tracking progress and change/errors. Yes I have seen the debate that you do not need a project management tool, my only sentiment to that is — Idiots!
Change Process and Decisions/Milestones/Checkpoints (whatever called in your process), well if you do not manage them… down south in flames you go…
Make sure to do your pre-project work thoroughly, objectives has to be challenged in the beginning, a clear understanding on what success criterias are, KPI’s, who has authority to sign off and who has authority to assign resources. If someone says, we need no workshop to make sure everyone is on the same page for the project, just wave goodbye and refuse to accept the project. If not everyone is one the same page, then you will have a shitstorm later…
Every project needs a lesson learned after delivery, those who says differently should never ever get to be close to a project. Have a real debriefing with both the team and internal/external customers to make sure that you learn as much as possible based on successes and challenges in the project. And for F**k sake put it in a document or project database!

Well, this basic list might look a bit glum but if you keep these basic in line, you have a better chance to actually come out in one piece in the other end of the project.

It is not my full list of what you need to keep track of but it is the most important basics… ;)