The Thoughts That Go through my Lonesome Traveler Mind

Traveling is what I have to do. Traveling is also what I dread doing. An introvert and a shy person like myself is never where she is. She is always inside her head. A thousand different things run inside my mind when I travel alone. They probably even make me do socially awkward things. Well, what you can even expect from someone who took an eternity to book a sedan service from Los Angeles CA airport to my hotel. People say that overthinking is what will trouble me the most but I overthink overthinking too.

Let me indulge you in the difficulties, the highs, and lows for absolutely everything that my mind strings keep tugging. This is a real time story about my oh-not-so-lovely but oh-so-lonely travel times from New York to Los Angeles CA. Being a corporate lawyer has me traveling far-and-wide across the country. No one accompanies me except an empty seat and a far too overworked mind. Let me be honest, I mostly have a lot on my plate and believe me that it does not make life any simpler.

The flight took six hours. It was six hours of a stranger sitting next to me; trying to make conversation that I can definitely go without. I make sure I always get the aisle seat or the window seat so there is no chance of a double stranger ambush. I always hope that the person I am supposed to sit next to misses the flight. This did not happen and the constant agreeing and fake smiling to the elderly woman sitting next to me was a pain in my facial muscles. Couldn’t she be slower with her walk and actually miss the flight?

The flight was hard; reaching the destination was even harder. I needed someone to help me with the luggage but I did not have enough courage to ask. Someone did come up nicely and offered help but I declined. What is wrong me? This is not natural human behavior.

So I actually ended up getting a sedan for airport Los Angeles CA. When I put my luggage in the trunk, I could not help but think how amazing an affordable limo service could have been. The comfortable seats could get the back pain off me. The seat divider could have helped me avoid even looking at the driver too long. There would have been enough space for my luggage that barely fit in the sedan’s trunk. Therefore, if anyone could actually explain to me why I did not get a limo that would be nice. On the other hand, wait no please don’t. I will probably just stare at you blankly and not say a word, which will freak you out.

I made a mental note to take a limo for corporate meeting in Los Angeles CA tomorrow. Reaching in style would make an impression on the defense lawyer too. He might not talk straight to my face if I intimidate him enough.

My sedan driver knew the way to my hotel, thankfully. He navigated himself and did not ask me anything.

After I checked in and specifically asked for a “Do Not Disturb” doorknob sign all I was thinking about was sleeping. I had to catch up on my sleep to snap out of flight anxiety and meet my client later that night. So there I was, on the bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to nod off. My mind constantly telling me if I go to sleep now, I will get six hours of sleep. If I go to sleep now, I will get five hours of sleep. If I go to sleep now, oh never mind…

One would think I would get used to hotel rooms, cabs, and strange men, but I never did, and probably never will. The same keeps happening to me every night at the hotel. I never get enough sleep and always come back tired from the job.

I need a vacation. But that would mean more traveling. Hard pass.