Depression: a word that many of us still shy away from. Even hearing the word makes us feel gloomy to some degree. I wonder if it is because everyone has been in a space of gloom at some stage in their life and we would rather not be reminded of that unpleasant time anymore or the struggle to get out of it.

Oddly enough, the universe has recently led me to discover the brighter side of depression.

A recent findings and conversation I had, made me see that in fact depression is a gift for the greater good of humankind.

So, the story goes that I met a beautiful person at a party. She was so bubbly and happy. No wonder we connected, as I believe I am drawn to people with positive energy. We chatted about how amazing it is when you find someone you connect with easily. But what she admitted later on in the conversation blew my mind. I mentioned that I love ‘broken’ people because they are the people who can appreciate life and are full of gratitude. Those who have had it easy tend to take things for granted. Then, I told a story about a friend who has gone through abuse and how it made her such a beautiful person because she can truly appreciate the smallest acts of love. I said if I had to choose between a rich attractive friend who has it easy or a person who has gone through hardship; I would always go for the person who has experienced hardship.

These are the people who have beautiful scars. Every scar tells a story of hope, strength and courage.

The penny dropped when she mentioned that she had been abused as well and suffers from depression. I was surprised at her honesty in sharing this with me so openly. But I was even more surprised that she would be someone who identifies as having depression. For some reason, I keep finding these beautiful people who identify as suffering from ‘mental illness’ to some degree. Personally, I always fail to see evidence of this label they put on themselves when they share this vulnerability with me. All I can see is the greatness of their soul.

I remembered a recent clip I watched which shines a different light on depression. It argues that depressed people are depressed because they have very high expectations of themselves. But, at least they are courageous enough to admit that something is not quite right. My recent encounters with people who admit they suffer from depression have made me think about my own awareness and courage to admit my own experience of unpleasant states of mind. It challenges my notion of depression. If I can make my own interpretation, I would say people who acknowledge that they experience times of depression are people who are aware of the depth of their ups and down and have the guts to admit it.

They are people who strive to be the best version of themselves. Unfortunately,with these aspirations, there is also the danger of blaming themselves when their expectations are not met, which seems to be the pit they fail to avoid.

Fortunately, the woman I met at this party has gone through a journey where she has embraced her depression and has become mindfully aware of her state of mind. She told me that she does meditation to overcome her depression. She still has ups and downs but she knows how to come back to centre by being mindful. And, she chooses to treat her depression without drugs. She mentioned depression runs in the family. Her family members were medicated, which gives her motivation to make different choices. I respect her strength of mind for being able to do so.

I also admire how she overcame her issues with trust after the abuse. She used to be suspicious if love is given to her there is a hidden agenda behind it. But then she proceeded to tell me the life wisdom she has learnt. She said, “By putting up this wall, I miss out on the opportunity of love altogether. It seems ridiculous to lose out on beautiful opportunities and beautiful people. I may get all these bad people and being treated badly but then I met amazing people. It is worth breaking down the wall to let these people in.” And, I am pleased to know that she gets her happy ending. She is now in a long-term relationship with a loving partner.

“Happiness is good for the body, but it is grief which develops the strengths of the mind.” ~ Marcel Proust

Then, I put forward the argument that people who live with depression often possess a great ability to empathise with others. She seemed surprised at this statement. After all, we never really think about positivity that may come out of depression. She pondered for a while, then she nodded her head and replied,‘Oh, yes, that is right. I never judge people because I know the hardship that I have gone through and what kind of mess I am.’ I saw her eyes light up and I think she had an epiphany.

I know that it can be hard to view depression in such a positive light. But if the above story has not led you to think differently, I have other facts to share. Some of the greatest people who have changed the world were diagnosed with depression. Who would have thought figures such as Martin Luther King Jr and Gandhi suffered from depression or were suicidal? Yet depression heavily influenced King’s strategies in the civil rights movement. He created an analogy between his ideas and psychiatric treatment. Racism was the disease and America was the patient. In order to be successful, King realised that he must help people understand, not simply hate them.

A transformation in thinking that is similar to that people experiencing depression must undergo to step outside it again and embrace a more positive mindset.

And there are many more amazing people who suffered from depression—Emily Dickinson, Leo Tolstoy, Isaac Newton to name a few—and many of the greatest artists were also depressive.

In thinking so much about depression I found myself asking a friend, “I wonder if I am depressed?”
She replied, “You are the happiest person I know!” But I also know that I have gone through dark times in my life. Honestly, this is where my strength and empathy comes from. My coming out journey has given me the experience of being an outcast, rejected and feeling alone. I do not wish this to happen to others and made a promise to myself to help them. If I never had these painful experiences, I doubt I would know how to give this much love to others.

As King learnt, every pain that takes you down gives you an opportunity to love at a higher level.

This in turn, has given me blessings of meeting lovely people who accept and love me as who I am. I have gone from having a handful of friends to having list of friends that I need to catch up with.

So, next time someone tells you that they suffer or have suffered from depression, do not shun them.

Who knows: they may be the next Gandhi!

You can be sure of one thing: they are beautiful people who have as great or greater capacity to love and be hopeful than average people.

After all, the lower you go, the higher hope you must have to get back to center.

At the end of the day, none of us is perfect and we can all be a bundle of neuroses at times. But what matters is to be aware, to embrace life and to be grateful for our qualities, ‘good’ or ‘bad’. When we fully embrace who we are and love ourselves as we are, our expectations of ourselves drop and we are freed from guilt.

Then we can see the beautiful beings that we are, even with all pain that we have gone through and the dark places we have visited. The light is within us, if we allow ourselves to see it with love and compassion.

It is okay to fail, as long as we do not give up. Blaming ourselves will only put us to a halt. It is time to proudly stand with our scars and be wholesomely beautiful.

“Shadow only appears when there is light. Seeing only the shadows will capture us in darkness. To seek the lights among the darkness will give us hope. And to see both in a bigger picture will bring us wisdom of gratitude that life is brighter than our shadows if we allow it to be.” — www.TheHappinessParadigm.com