Twenty One/Two- Complicated.
The basic reason behind the title of this post is so indecisive is because I’d started writing it shortly after I’d turned 21 and I’m completing & publishing it now with only a week to go for 22! So many times I’ve started to write this post but each time I sit onto it, I feel like I can’t find enough words to fathom my thoughts. So today, I decided that I’m going to finish this. I got myself a shot of Baileys. I filled a bottle with water. I stuffed my side table with Twix (It’s magical, just try it yougaaaiz) and I ensured that my laptop is plugged in. Right. SO LETSSSSS DO THISSSSS.
I very recently celebrated my Twenty First birthday and finally started behaving like an adult (Yes, you can laugh too!) But, on a very serious note, Twenty One, brings with it a weird sense of responsibility and truckloads of ambitions. You want to achieve everything all at once. You think you can go up to unmatched heights and achieve things that most people don’t even think of doing.
I was overjoyed to have attained that certain sense of fulfillment in life. I was doing decent on the career front, I had an almost-serious lover, I knew how I wanted to go forward with my life, and my parents were happy with me. Except everything fell off. All at once. With only a week left to 22, life feels like an adventure… full of surprises (mostly shocks). Things that were cool in college, aren’t cool anymore. Everyone else portrays like they’re doing extremely well. And your self-esteem goes down the drain.
My life (like everyone else’s) has chosen to surprise me through & through! While most things that I chalked out as plans have started failing me; the things that I’d never thought of are turning up and somehow falling in place! I’m all in for finding a perspective in life & aligning things to it just so that I can define a track.. But how is it ever going to help?
Very recently I learned about the power of perseverance. Just for a little background sketch, I’m an extremely curious child who is hopelessly emotional & always impatient. I always wanted things now. Being the youngest in the house, I was pampered beyond fail. Never did I know how little things in life made big differences. Shortly after I started working & coordinating with other people (more like co-existing; Hello wannabe-Blair Waldorf! This isn’t the Upper-East side & you just can’t make things happen) is when things started getting out of control. I made money but I only realized that it hardly mattered. I was mostly unabashed with myself. I was so used to being comfortable. Being the best one had always naturally come to me, until I realized that much of the show that I usually put on is for everyone around me. They’re all just looking at me with eyes full of awe.. because they think of the real me as the portrayed me. Now to take off all my masks and come out in the open as someone on the entirely opposite side would harm me.
Most of the complications created in our lives are by our own thoughts. I was deeply moved by a sudden incident that I encountered on the commuter wherein a girl my age tried to kill herself. Not only was I deeply moved, but I also couldn’t think of any particular reason for her to take such an extreme step. I discussed it with most people around me but everyone seemed to have concluded by saying it’s perspective subjective. I learnt that giving up in life is definitely not the solution..
This is more like a diary rant but I wanted to share what I learn through this almost complicated phase of life with everyone who thinks I make a tad bit sense by reading what I write (I go through the stats yaaa). So, yeah. It was that Time heals everything; all you need to do is let go. And trust me I’ve tried this with everything.. I’ve got fired, heartbroken, expelled, cheated, judged, declared dumb, not acknowledged, back-stabbed and everything else that breaks most of us down in this transition of 21 to 22. And, yet I’ve learnt that all we need is to give things a little time just to come out stronger. Everything picks up pace… everything falls into place.. all you need to do is give it time and let it go(because if Britney can survive 2008, we all can make things in our life work!)