How to Get People to Stop Taking You Seriously

Oct 5, 2017 · 3 min read
Two people facing each other, smiling and talking | via (under CC0 license)

Are you tired of white people taking you seriously when you describe your lived experiences? Do you wish that cis people would stop nodding and empathizing with you when you tell anecdotes about your life? Do you feel that people are constantly too understanding of your experiences? Do you ever pray that you could for once in your life experience utter fuckery at the hands of the people in your life?

Then this guide is for you!

Maybe you’ve received one too many understanding hugs from Gale in accounting. Or maybe Brad at the block party is always rooting for you and supporting you. Maybe Jan at the PTA just keeps actively listening to your point of view and validating your concerns. Or maybe you’re just exhausted from having friends, colleagues, and a culture that understands you and your lived experience all the time!

Well not anymore! With our exciting, centuries-oldnew system, you no longer have to endure a professional or personal environment that is endlessly supportive!

In 2 easy steps, you too can join the millions of dissatisfied people around the world and have the people in your life treat you like absolute garbage!

1) Be a queer and/or trans person of color (QTPOC). This ensures that you are already othered systematically and that you carry a historical and current power dynamic that disadvantages you in every conceivable way!

2) Share your lived experiences.

Yes, it’s as easy as that! Sharing your lived experience as a member of a marginalized group ensures that no one will take you seriously ever again!

Now you can have Brad telling you that life is hard for everyone and he has problems too, you know. You can count on Gale to let you know that she hates “your kind”. But don’t worry! She won’t really hate you overtly to your face because you’re one of the “good ones”.

No longer will you also have to worry about Jan’s validation! She’ll make sure to tell you that your problems aren’t really about your identity and if you just work hard enough, then you too can have your housekeepers, caterers, landscapers, chauffeurs, and butlers lifting you up by your diamond encrusted rhino leather Louboutin boot straps, just like she did!

That’s right, folks! All you have to do is follow these two easy steps and you’ll have all your friends, peers, and even random strangers left and right ignoring your lived experience or outright invalidating it and dismissing it as lies!

Note: While this guide is intended for QTPOC, folks facing ableist, sexist, and/or classist oppression may also find it helpful.

This guide is not approved by the FDA and does not guarantee that people will tell you that there’s no difference between you two because “all people are just people”, and people will tell you that your lived experience is nothing compared to “what they’ve experienced”, and then finally they’ll blame you for your oppression. But don’t worry white supremacist queer- and transphobia already guarantees that!

PS this is satire.

PPS … mostly.

Looking for more? Other works can found on Twitter (@happygoholly0) and my Medium profile