Amazon Self Publishing: No Urinating Allowed

Did anyone else know about this? Below is copied directly from Amazon’s website regarding some of the guidelines for self publishing:

“2.1 Unacceptable books:

Books with content that refers to certain intimate or sensitive topics such as hormonal development or changes, puberty, potentially embarrassing bodily functions (e.g., scatological or urinary processes, menstruation)”

I kind of understand the other things, but fictional characters aren’t allowed to use the bathroom? Do they have to hold it in throughout the entire book? But what if a character is stranded in the wilderness and needs to drink his/her own urine in order to stay hydrated?

Before I continue, let me explain that I don’t condone Patrick Stewart’s hilarious character from the sexy cakes SNL skit from years back. (In it he sold novelty cakes that all had women using a toilet.) Gross.

But the main reason this issue bothers me is because I am now forced to either edit my book, removing some content, or take my book, 665: or, the Alpha and Omega Wolf, off of Amazon altogether.

Why? Because it’s too realistic. On Combat by Col Grossman explained that many soldiers in the heat of battle will involuntarily lose bowel and bladder control. I believe the number was around 25% of soldiers that admitted to this, but how many more were too embarrassed to do so?

And that’s exactly why the narrator of 665, Jessica, experiences this strange occurrence during one of her fights for her life. I want 665 to make an impact in this world, and for it to portray the hellish reality of combat — as well as the struggles that some women across the world face on a daily basis.

It’s not my intent to demean the narrator of my book, but I want people to understand that if their home is being broken into, and they literally shit themselves, then they’re not cowards — they’re normal. Just like Jessica.

On Combat was an invaluable resource for the development of 665. Truly, I think that any writer interested in including some form of fighting in their book should read On Combat as a reference material. It did wonders for me with writing 665, but, perhaps, it did too good of a job. If Amazon wanted to, they technically could remove my book right now if they weren’t so busy pissing around. ;) (Just teasing, Amazon. I appreciate you letting me sell my book through you guys, even if I have to adorn a shit-eating grin and edit some content.)