Passing The Threshold Part 2
Spanish And Climbing
“Man does not simply exist, but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become in the next moment.” Viktor Frankel (Man’s Search For Meaning)
I’m currently a B1 level in Spanish.
An honest assessment will be in the range of 35%–45% fluency.
Everyday I can feel the resistance to give up and retreat.
And every week, there is at least one day, where I catch myself navigating a conversation for a few hours, and thinking I’m close to passing the threshold.
Every skill/project like this, is posing a questing to me: “who do I want to become?”
Jason Silva describes what we become when we speak multiple languages:
Passing a test VS Learning
If I study hard enough and beat my brain up everyday, I can probably pass a Spanish exam. Of course my brain will throw up everything, the second the “test” is over.
My brain never threw up things that I truly enjoyed learning. Things that are so integral to who I want to become, that throwing them away would mean loosing a part of myself.
The real question of learning for me is:
Is what I’m learning now, truly integral to who I want to become?
If the answer is yes, I should enjoy the ride… the puppy will be leaving soon, and I’ll be wanting his photos.
My Spanish is scratching the 51% mark, and I feel like a boxer who met his biggest opponent yet.
Resistance is highest when it feels that we‘re about to win.
Right before we knock it out, it’s in our face, fighting for its life.
The only way to “win” is to accept that it’s there, this takes the sting from it, and we can enjoy the ride again. It’s not going anywhere, but it will dominate us, if we ironically resist the resistance.
I’m convinced that this time, I’ll pass through this threshold in my life. This battle is essential to who I want to become.
Writing a post in the heat of the battle feels strange, but It will be more honest than just releasing a post in a few weeks titled: “how I learned Spanish in 6 minutes while watching game of thrones and making a pie…”
No books out there with the title: “let me tell you how it feels to suck at something for the first month…”
And this is exactly why I’m choosing to share this part as well.
The “Why”
This is not about the how… this is about the why.
At a certain point our challenges shift from the how to the why.
It’s not about what book/method/course/trainer any more, it’s about reaching a point of: “I’m going to do this no matter how long it takes, because it’s essential to who I want to become.”
Every time I reached that point in my life, milestones seemed to be flying by.
Kid VS Adult
Navigating the milestones journey as a kid is very different.
I practiced for hours the guitar because I was excited about a new song, and wanted to impress a girl… (main motivation for every kid starting out)
I practiced for hours shooting 3 throws, because I simply loved it.
The milestones journey as an adult is vastly different.
Society is constantly pointing the finger at you asking: “why the hell are you investing time in anything other than making money??”
It seems as if it makes no sense to invest hours everyday, in something that doesn’t provide us with instant money.
Primary Life Motivation
Kids: fun, passion, creativity, expression.
Adults: Money…
Shifting my motivation again, is the hardest thing I had to do.
Every adult bone in me tells me: “give up… you’re not a kid anymore, just focus on making money, so that one day you can make kids that will learn Spanish”
Every kid bone in me says: “fuck that”
Loosing the kid, is a disservice to the adult.
If I’m loosing the kid, I’ll just make more kids that will do the same.
Climbing
“Life wants to climb, and in climbing overcome itself.” Nietzsche (Thus Spoke Zarathustra)
Over the last 2 years, I’ve been exploring a new discipline: Climbing.
In the last year I’ve been climbing in Europe, Canada, USA, and South America. I had the unique Opportunity to experience climbing gyms from different countries and cities, and assimilate the lessons from each one in me.
A tip from a woman in Texas, an angle I watched someone use in Canada, and currently a great instructor I got to observe closely in Argentina.
All those experiences are merging in my brain, and finally advancing my climbing skills.
Up until 2–3 months ago, I was a beginner in climbing (A2-B1). After 2 years years of climbing on and off, something changed in my approach for this discipline.
For the first year and a half of my climbing experience, I was approaching this skill from a very self-centered perspective. I was in my own world, trying to get better at this skill, not paying attention to anyone else around me.
I went to climbing gym, with no interest to observe how others climb or communicate much. I viewed it as a “workout”: get it fast, get out fast… the day had an agenda, and my movement practice was a tiny part in my rat race chase.
Bottom line: I didn’t enjoy it too much, and I sucked... I barely improved at all.
During the last few months (traveling induced), I prioritized climbing wherever I went. I decided to shift the 45 minutes “in and out” approach, and spend a good hour/ hour an a half in the climbing gym, mostly observing others climb.
I became a lot more social in my “workouts”, observing every climber around me, taking mental notes.
The most frustrating thing about the beginner climber stage, is that you literally sit and watch how other people are more experienced, more fit, and more intelligent in their approach, succeed in the routes (climbing objectives), when you fail miserably for months.
The last 5 weeks in Buenos Aires were a case study for passing a threshold.
In the tiny gym they have here, there is an “easy wall” and a “hard wall”.
The difference between the walls is immense, and extremely frustrating for a beginner to try and transition between the walls.
First 4 weeks here, I mastered the “easy wall”, and attempted to cross over to the “hard wall” with no success… I finished zero routes in the “hard wall”.
During my 5th week, I climbed twice: the first time I managed to finish 2 routes, and the second time I finished 4 routes.
The last route I did, was allegedly way above my level… I decided to try it, and strangely enough succeeded.
My brain and body collaborated beautifully after months of struggling to sync the two together. I finished the route thinking: “wow, I just passed through my threshold”.
When you pass through a personal threshold, you feel it. It’s undeniable anymore, your brain/body have acquired a new skill.
It feels incredible.
I’m convinced I’m a weak B2 climber now, which means I’m ranging in the 48%-64% fluency of that skill.
Instead of swimming in the mud with my eyes closed, I made peace with the fact that I’m in the mud, and started to enjoy the ride.
I can now say with confidence that I climb because I love climbing.
My primary motivation is the art form itself.
My attention was put solely on enjoying the learning process.
If skill acquisition was like loosing weight, then I can say that I stopped giving a fuck about the scale.
I didn’t care about the fact that everyone around me are more fluent in this skill. I enjoyed the personal journey I took, and the amazing climbers I got to learn from.
A Real Pro
The guy that runs the current gym I’m going to in Buenos Aires, has been a true inspiration for me.
Hernan walks in every time, gives everyone the Argentinian kiss, and gets to work.
He goes through everyone, one by one, and helps them. He gives pointers and advice to each one at his own level. Demonstrating and cheering, with a contagious passion.
I looked at him during my last session and thought: “this guy truly loves climbing”.
It’s incredible to be around someone who loves his art form so much.
He has no ego when approaching his work. He’s there to have fun and learn/teach to the maximum capacity.
I saw an awesome kid climbing there, and asked him how many years has he been climbing, and he replied: “6 months”.
This kid has been working closely with Hernan. The last session he finished an incredibly difficult route, and left me in awe of his performance… then Hernan came and told him “not perfect, let’s do it again” as he went on to demonstrate him how his ankle could press against the wall more.
Hernan loves his craft, it’s beautiful and inspiring to watch.
I’m convinced that his insanely high level is a by product of his approach.
Watching him during the last 5 weeks, has made it apparent for me:
I pass through my threshold when I love what I do.
When I’m not fueled by my ego that wants to assert its dominance, I can be in the “muddy” stages of life with joy. This calmness is relaxing my brain enough, so it can accept the new information.
My brain reacts very different when I’m not saying to him: “shove this information in like a duck being fattened”
And when I am saying: “this new skill/language is essential to who I want to become, you have all the time in the world to assimilate it… enjoy this struggle for growth, this is not coming from an outside factor, this is coming from within.”
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