Ben HargraveThunder:We’ve been together — what — four billion years? Ever since the Earth gained an atmosphere through which we could arise via the complicated…Sep 28, 2016Sep 28, 2016
Ben HargraveReport: White People Already Gentrifying Upside Down BrooklynJust when you thought everyone was done talking about Stranger Things because the hype train had left the station, signifying it had…Sep 17, 2016Sep 17, 2016
Ben HargravePardon Me For Being Rude, It Was Not Me It Was My Food That Said, “I Want A Divorce”I’m sorry about that. I don’t know what’s come over me. But I do know what’s come into me: that five alarm chili entrée that was preceded…Sep 16, 2016Sep 16, 2016
Ben HargraveMom: I Want You To Want To Do Your Chores And Yes I Know It’s From That Movie “The Break-Up”Listen up kids: mom’s had a rough go of it this week. Melinda is breathing down my neck at work and trying to make me look bad to our boss…Sep 7, 2016Sep 7, 2016
Ben HargraveDear Rex: Since Dogs Can Understand Words, Tell Me — Why’d You Shit On The Floor, Buddy?Oh don’t give me that face. You know what you did! The whole family does! You shit on the floor — again. I just don’t get why. Every time…Sep 2, 2016Sep 2, 2016
Ben HargraveGod: I Killed Those 300 Reindeer Because I Really Want Reindeer BBQ To Be A ThingHello my faithful supporters! I hope you all are well! I know quite a lot of you aren’t, but for those who are — let it be known that I am…Aug 31, 2016Aug 31, 2016
Ben HargraveCaptain Hook: Let’s Put Ticking Clocks In Every Alligator To Prevent Other Tragedies That Aren’t…A lot of people get the wrong impression of me, say I don’t care about anything but killing Peter Pan and running Neverland as a benevolent…Aug 24, 2016Aug 24, 2016
Ben HargraveNew Dad: Not Sure If I Can Trust My Baby Boy, I Just Met The GuyImagine having a stranger move into your home after giving you 9-ish months advance notice that they would be invading your life. Now…Aug 23, 2016Aug 23, 2016
Ben HargraveAll Those Times Collecting Barbershop Hair Are Worth It Now That I Adopted A Bald CatI would feel ashamed if I were you. Completely ashamed. All those times you made fun of me for my ‘hobby’ — volunteering to sweep up and…Aug 22, 2016Aug 22, 2016
Ben HargraveScience: Sitting On Someone’s Face Really Can Kill ThemIn today’s day and age, being alive is seemingly more dangerous than it has ever been. From genetically modified food to the constant and…Aug 21, 2016Aug 21, 2016