Preventing Negative Peer Pressure
By Harlen Graham
What is peer pressure and what effect does it have on our youth? Peer pressure is defined as influence from members of ones peer group. This influence is not limited to teenagers, but for the purpose of this article we will focus on them. As a high school coach of basketball and a health teacher, I have been eyewitness to what this influence can mean for some. The unfortunate part is peer pressure among teens can almost always be negative. From the pressure to smoke or take drugs and drink, to becoming sexually active are among some of the pressures teens may face. In addition, there is the pressure to fit in. Too often teens seem to have the identity or persona of a close friend rather than their own. So then, how can the adults in their lives encourage them and upbuild them?
Being positive and reassuring our children is a major key to keeping them from falling victim to peer pressure. How so? Well think of this, when you feel sure of yourself and your abilities, how likely are you to follow what someone else is doing? Probably not as likely as someone who isn’t sure of themselves. Whenever you see your child excelling or even making improvements in school, doing well at a sport or anything at all, commend them. I don’t mean empty flattery because that is transparent. Actually being specific and stating what they are doing well. I once noticed my son struggling in a subject at school. He didn’t like the teacher and the material wasn’t easy to grasp. Yet, I saw him taking steps to rectify the problem all on his own. He stayed after school for extra help, improved on note taking and even formed a study group to aide him. I immediately informed him of how proud I was of him and that he definitely impressed me. The smile that spread across his face said it all! He later expressed to me the encouragement made him feel sure of himself for doing what I described as the right thing. Take that as proof our children will listen to us depending on how we approach the situation and if we are effective in getting through to them.
Also, make yourselves approachable. As parents we can see teenage dilemmas as silly and unimportant but to them it can mean everything. Let your children know you are here to listen and provide assurance and guidance through anything they are going through. Furthermore, show them you mean what you say. Do not say it and when they come to talk to you state you are busy. That may be the last time they try.
Lastly, get to know their friends. If we know who are children associate with, we can have a clear understanding of who they are. Have friends over for dinner or family functions that allows you to get to know them. Wisdom on our part will help us discern if our children are choosing good friends.
Even if we take all the right steps, our children may still take false steps from time to time. If that turns out to be the case, keep some perspective. Any and every situation in life presents a learning opportunity. Allow your children to learn from mistakes and never shield them from the consequences. Our end game is to raise caring well rounded adults that can be positive members of society. Let’s work hard to build up their confidence, lend a listening ear and meet their friends. We can eliminate the negative peer pressure and start to build strong men and women in our society.