Borderline Personality Disorder: On the Border of Psychosis and Neurosis
Mental health has recently become a sort of joke on the internet. People are idolizing being sad and engaging in self-destructive behaviors. However, the people that struggle with mental illnesses know that they are not something to be idolized. Mental illnesses can be detrimental to how a person thinks and feels, and can negatively affect how they function in society. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a “mental disorder marked by a pattern of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning” (“Borderline Personality Disorder”). Those with BPD also have “high rates of co-occurring mental disorders, such as mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and eating disorders, along with substance abuse, self-harm, [and] suicidal thinking and behaviors” (“Borderline Personality Disorder”). With BPD, there is an overwhelming fear of abandonment which leads to self isolation. People that suffer from BPD have difficulty managing relationships because they often push people away in fear of being left. This is “related to an intolerance of being alone and a need to have other people with them” (“Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms”). A person can reassure me hundreds of times that they love and care about me, but I will never be able to fathom the idea of someone loving me because I believe I am undeserving of love. Borderlines may also be viewed as manipulative but this is not intentional. Many people with BPD need constant attention and validation because they believe that no one cares about them. They can become completely dependent on another person, and their view of themselves reflects how the other person views them. We are unsure about who we are. In this photo essay, I am going to show a glimpse of what it is like having BPD.
Living with BPD is something I am unfortunately always going to struggle with. I have to put in extra effort if I want to maintain a relationship with someone. With that being said, many of my relationships do not last very long. People with BPD can go from being completely in love with someone one day to not feeling anything for them the next. Antidepressants are helpful as well as atypical antipsychotics which help with other BPD symptoms, “specifically anger and hostility, intense mood shifts, and cognitive symptoms, like paranoid thinking” (“Antipsychotics… Personality Disorder”). Borderlines are unable to manage their emotions effectively and this causes them to dissociate often. Because of this, we can either be viewed as emotionless or too emotional. There are times when it feels like I’m feeling every emotion at once, and there are times when I feel absolutely nothing. I hope this essay showed that mental health is something that should be taken seriously. It isn’t fun being sad all the time.
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