Trump’s Childhood Friend Says, “Donnie Never Could Keep A F**king Secret”
Allan Ishac

Brilliant, Allan! From the TrumPooning millennial collection, OneRepublic’s “Secrets” inspired this companion to Rick Larson’s fond memories:

I need a new press story
Got stuff ‘bout Comey off my chest
Being POTUS is so boring
Need something about ISIS
F**K, my orange face turning red
From all the lies that I have said
It wasn’t classified, I swear
Thought you saw me wink, 
My mind is on the brink, so

Tell me what Vlad wants to hear
Some secrets that will light those ears
I know it’s sick but I’m sincere
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, Intelligence don’t lie
Exposed our sources, that’s just fine
I’m gonna give all our secrets away

To be continued …

Original lyrics by songwriter Ryan Tedder
Secrets lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Artist: OneRepublic

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