Episode 9 : Deception, Dishonesty and Humanoids

Liars and masters of deception are all among us.

in our houses of worship,

in our Horoscope sections of The Daily Fuckery,

at our dead-end jobs,

on our Instagrams and Twitter timelines

at our family reunions

in our beds

and even within ourselves.

Some have mastered the art of deception by way of spirituality and
 imaginary powers.

Gurus, mediums and psychics hunting down their thin-skinned prey and feasting upon their vulnerability like wolves

benevolent pimps dressed like homeless wizards, bribing their prospective whores with kinetic quackery and perpetually-dangerous positivity

and leading them into crystal warehouses to get fucked for a hefty fee

“breathe in the spirit, breathe out my $150-per-hour”

bullshitting you and clinging on to your desperation.

You need to connect with the deceased sister who you forgot to hug before she accidentally drove into a tree,

or the boyfriend whose suicide you ain’t see coming because he smelled of sex and polished wood and cherry blunt wraps.

astrologers pen generalized personality assessments for those who are uncomfortable with having zero control.
 deep down
 they know that celestial objects have no bearing on your life whatsoever
 but their gluttonous egos need you to look to them for guidance

they’ve the so-called power to tell you about your Sun in Pisces, 
 and your Moon in Aquarius,
 but forgot to forewarn you about your Breast In Cancer.

then; the hopeless and beautiful womenfools on IG fishing for Instant Gratification

snaps of her, posing near cerulean riverbeds in Dubai, captioned with cryptic drivel, like ‘Live, Laugh, Love’

you cry because the picture 
 and her body 
 is perfect
 you log off 
 and then she cries before kneeling

and swallowing 
the smelly member

of the middle-aged, overweight businessman who flew her there

but she’s been careful enough to crop out any signs of him

showing you nothing but bikini bottoms

and light condensation
forming on the sides of champagne glasses.

we move on to the pastors and the reverends
 shouting massa’s words at discomfited worshippers

preaching scripture whilst screwing their friend’s wives and using little boy’s anuses for release
 using scripture to bend their followers into visionless submission
 true sadists

cracking verses like leather whips on the small of their backs and spines

they buckle down and shout,
“Hallelujah, God is Good”
he tells them.

while collecting bits of dashed hopes that appear in the form of loose change and crumpled dollar bills

he sells them a dream

every Sunday at 10am.

deceit is everywhere.

in your employee handbooks,

in the lies your partner tells you in order to spare your feelings

on the roofs of your parents’ mouths,

in commercials,

and in your holy books that claim to possess the true moral code.

and we deceive ourselves too.

refusing to face hard truths,

hiding behind self-serving polished versions of Eastern Buddhism

and inspirational quotes on Tumblr.

easier to say “peace and blessings”
than it is to acknowledge loneliness and a dependence on Mary Jane

we coddle ourselves with cognitive dissonance,

maybe we tell ourselves a little white lie to to excuse our emotional spending habit or to maintain social clout,

feigning politeness at department stores when we’d rather slice throats,

projecting make-believe internet identities on microblogging platforms,

telling people we are from Puerto-Rico when we are really from North Carolina

maybe we’re all magicians in costumes -
faces painted with the fibs
and benevolent fables 
which may or may not help others feel nice.

and perhaps we lie 
because the truth is a rough place to land
 and those little lies feel much softer than beds of stone.


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