After you’re handed your sentence greater than 1 year, you become property of the Department of Corrections. Everyone in the state of Virginia would go through Powhatan Correctional Center in State Farm, VA. You’re thrown into a 6x8 cell that looks just like this picture. The old bars, the cramped space, the 2 in 1 commode; that beast was made of steel, though. The windows were broken out and it was January. The system steps on you so much that I remember thinking how grateful I was to be there in January and not JUNE! I didn’t even think to speak up about the inhumane conditions we were living in! 23 AND 1! That means you’re on lockdown 23 hours of the day. You get 1 hour of rec/phone/shower time and back in you go! I was lucky to have a PIECE of a broken book that someone left behind!
Being in such a situation will have you facing the deepest parts of yourself that are so easy to avoid with our distractions! The sheer weight of my Should’ve-Would’ve-Could’ves caused me to vow to NEVER withhold a thought again! The words that you choose to swallow, actually create a weight that you carry around DAILY.
I fully believe that we enter that regretful state when we are on our deathbed. When we are facing death in the eye, we run through all of the decisions we made up to that point. I was lucky enough to have a chance AFTER that point to a) savor the moments, b) express the thoughts and emotions, and c) express my free will. If you ever faced that part of yourself, would you ever give a fuck what anyone else has to say?
NO.