I Don’t Want to Live Forever

Mathias Appel

We get only one life. It all ends. That doesn’t frighten me; it motivates me.

Time is the most valuable asset each of us has. In that sense, I understand and empathize deeply with the desire to have just one more day, one more minute, one more second to spend with your loved ones, to say what needs to be said, to live just a little bit longer.

Wanting more time is often about regret, the “if only” moments each of ruminates on when we are alone with our thoughts and pondering if our lives have meaning. My life has meaning, not because I’ve won at the game of life, but because I tried, because I am trying right now.

I have failed spectacularly more times than I can count — at things that really mattered to me, at things that were important. I’ve let people down; I’ve been selfish; I’ve been too selfless when I should have put myself first. But I try not to dwell on those moments. I learn from them and adjust, but I don’t waste time crying over spilt milk because we get only one life. It all ends. And I’m glad it does. Knowing there’s a finish line, that there’s a limit on how much I can achieve is what gives me the impetus to push forward, to not put off until tomorrow what I can do today.

I don’t want to live forever. I want to live now.

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Harrison Kitteridge is the author of the novel, SHERLOCK HOLMES AND THE ADVENTURE OF THE PAPER JOURNAL, which is set in a not-so-distant future where government-mandated social networking has driven the detective to the brink of obsolescence. Read BEFORE HOLMES MET WATSON on Medium!

Harrison Kitteridge

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Writer, prisoner of hope. | Author of BEFORE HOLMES MET WATSON and SHERLOCK HOLMES & THE ADVENTURE OF THE PAPER JOURNAL│ www.harrisonkitteridge.com

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