Adele’s “Hello” is a Beautiful Song; But I Don’t Buy What She’s Selling
I’m probably the last person who should be reviewing popular music. And I’m definitely the last person who should be giving relationship advice. But I’ve only ever written about sports and movies and I wanted to take a step outside my comfort zone…so here goes nothing.
If you’ve paid any attention to the pop music scene, you noticed the smoking comet that flew into our consciousness just over a week ago. Adele’s new power ballad “Hello”, from her upcoming album “25” smashed all types of records in becoming the biggest hit in the world. According to Billboard, “Hello” sold over 1 million digital copies last week, shattering the all-time record. After less than a day, it was already the #1 song in US, UK, Australia, Germany, Ireland and at least EIGHTY other countries!
How did a song with no discernible dance beat, no edgy lyrics and no obvious gimmicks (I’m looking at you, your whip and your naenae, Silentó) become such a monster hit?
First of all, “Hello” sounds great. Adele has a booming voice and she absolutely crushes it here. She starts off soft and slow, but a minute into the song the vocals cut off, the music kicks it up a notch, and Adele returns an octave higher and many decibels louder with “HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE.” The chorus is brooding and haunting, and takes away your breath. After she finishes with “BUT IT DON’T MATTER IT CLEARLY DOESN’T TEAR YOU APART”, she drops an octave in the middle of “ANY-more”, and returns to the verse with a calm “hello”. You get about 40 seconds to compose yourself until the same thing happens again. This time, it doesn’t let up until the song finishes 2 minutes later. The last chorus has a louder, even more booming background, and Adele mixes it up by overlaying her own voice to give it a raw feeling. Then, after all the tension reaches a crescendo, the bottom drops out and we return to the slow, quiet piano that started the song. The last few notes of the song match the first few notes, which creates a perfect segue if you want to listen on repeat…
(One of the best podcasts out there, “Switched On Pop” with Nate Sloan and Charlie Harding gives a more scientific and more nuanced description of what makes this song so memorable and I encourage you to give them a listen.)
On top of the musical quality, “Hello” also tugs at our heartstrings. Adele is clearly in a vulnerable place and she lays her emotions bare for the whole world to see. It’s an admirable and calculated decision by an artist who already mastered this in 2011’s heartbreaking “Someone Like You”. In that song she sings about a painful, unrequited love and reminds the lover who unceremoniously dumped her that even though he’s moved on, she hasn’t:
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I’d hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over.
Unless you married your first grade crush, you’ve probably had this feeling before. You’re in love with someone, they break it off and you spend your time wondering if (and hoping) she is thinking about you, when in reality, she’s on to bigger and better things. Or you’re on the other side, trying to shield yourself from someone who still loves you even though you no longer reciprocate. For the listener, it’s inspiring that even a celebrity like Adele has experienced the raw human emotions of love and loss. “Someone Like You” is very sad, but it isn’t cloying, melodramatic or emotionally manipulative. This girl legitimately misses her lover and the life she shared with him, and we’re right there with her.
She tries to follow the same formula with “Hello”, and has created a song with the same tone and atmosphere as “Someone Like You”. However looks — or in this case sounds — can be deceiving. Lyrically, she’s sending a completely different message and this time I’m not on board.
Before we begin, a few disclaimers. The following relationship opinions are mine, derived from my own experiences as well as those of close friends. In order to protect the innocent, I’m not going to discuss discernible details about these relationships and will not use real names. While these stories are mine, they are not mine alone and it’s unfair to present one side of the story. And though I like to think I always take the moral high-ground when it comes to relationships, I’ve dished out as much as I’ve received. I’ve had my heart broken, and I’ve broken hearts. This is my attempt to keep it fair and balanced. So given that, let’s dig in.
In the first verse, Adele sings that she’d like to meet with a long lost lover.
Hello, it’s me
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya, but I ain’t done much healing
Besides the magical “mutual break-up”, there is always someone who initiates the break-up and someone who receives the brunt of it. Many of these endings are messy and the couple might not speak for weeks, months or years. In my opinion, the four most common reasons for reconnecting are: the person on the receiving end wants to show the other how well he/she has recovered, the person on the receiving end desperately wants the other back or wants to vent, the person on the initiating end realizes he/she made a huge mistake, or time has healed all wounds and the couple is legitimately curious about what’s happening in each other’s lives. It’s not immediately clear where Adele stands until the rousing chorus.
Hello from the other side
I must’ve called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Aha! A fifth option. The one who initiated the breakup feels bad for what she has done (since Adele is speaking, let’s just choose “she” and avoid the awkward “he/she”) and wants to make sure the guy is ok. This is where Adele loses me. If she clearly cares about the ex-boyfriend’s feelings, she would realize after the 999th time that there’s a reason he never seems to be home. He’s so devastated from the long-ago break-up that even a apologetic voice on the answering machine is too painful, or he’s found a way to move on and doesn’t care what Adele thinks anymore. Either way, Adele is not calling him because she wants him to feel better. She’s calling because *she* wants to feel better.
Nothing like Adele’s 1000 missed calls has ever happened in my experiences. I (or someone like me) once had a relationship which turned sour. I mistreated Aurora, and then she did something very bad to me. Aurora broke things off and I immediately tried to reconnect because I wanted to convey how upset she made me, while simultaneously trying to woo her back. Despite our passionate discourse, we never really apologized for our actions. Even years later, we occasionally get together and bypass our unresolved issues.
I (or someone like me) once broke up with a long-term girlfriend Susan. Susan desperately tried to stay in touch and I consistently shut her out until one day I realized I needed her. I wasn’t sorry about what I did, but sorry that I made the wrong decision. Finally, I (or someone like me) was madly in love with Rhonda. Rhonda decided she couldn’t get married and broke up with me. Even though I desperately wanted her back, she kept me at arms length. Only years later did she say “I think while we were dating, I was not ready for a serious commitment.” Sorry I’m not sorry.
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart
Anymore
More of the same — Adele wants to tell her man that she’s sorry, but she’s taken aback when she realizes their break-up doesn’t tear him apart anymore. Her dogged persistence, despite lacking any romantic feelings for her man, is not believable. I would love to have a girlfriend come back later and admit she was wrong about our break-up, but this requires some giant leaps of faith.
After a break-up, both sides feel that they are in the right and the other side has somehow wronged them. Even after much reflection, it’s hard to change your opinions and admit you’ve made a mistake. It’s even harder to then go ahead and admit these feelings to your ex. Unless you are trying to absolve your conscience of genuine guilt, confessing your sins is pretty fruitless. What’s done is done, and there’s no going back. Neither I nor any of my girlfriends have ever had an Adele moment. If this actually happens, I’ve never heard of it.
That being said, it’s possible I’ve completely misjudged Adele and she is capable of feelings I don’t possess. I understand that my anecdotes are simply examples of relationships I’ve witnessed, and not proof that Adele’s situation is impossible. There is a whole world out there I’ve yet to experience, and perhaps time will change me into someone who admits his mistakes to his dearly departed — to provide closure for them, and not just for myself.
Until then, I will continue to listen to Adele’s “Hello” because it is an awesome song, while simultaneously acknowledging that I don’t get it. Either way, Adele has convinced me to confront some long dormant emotions which is pretty good for a Sunday night!
